if you got pregnant by your husband (and thought you were going to leave him eventually) would you have an abortion or think well I'll just get child support if i decide to leave. my wife up and left after a small fight after her abortion now she's all gung ho about getting her own place and has a real estate agent looking for her. would that make you suspect the baby might not have been yours? i don't think any woman would have an abortion by the man they were married to whether they thought they were going to leave or not eventually. especially if the one thing we argued about constantly was having another kid. other option would be that she got scared after she got pregnant. i don't know though. everything is real fishy and she just up and left. onward and upward with her life without thinking about me or my kids she left behind. very cold. what do you think?
2007-05-17 16:21:29 · 16 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
something is wrong here..is what id be thinking..well..she had an abortion but you also stated ya'll fought over having more children...im wondering if she didnt have an afair and got pregnant elsewhere??? if it is true..it doesnt really matter now does it?>?i mean youll never know unless she told you or you found out she was with someone else.. they make it too easy to get an abortion these days..i feel they need to only allow abortions if...1..a rape..2.incest..3..if its going to put the mother in jeopardy or 4..if the child is deformed...
2007-05-17 16:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by bettym 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, what a selfish person she is. I cannot believe that she just made the decision to get an abortion, without any consideration to your feelings. It's too bad you couldn't have legally stopped her from doing that until a paternity test could have been done. My God, what if that was your child too? Maybe it is a blessing in disguise for you and your kids. Someone so wishy-washy and impulsive doesn't sound like a good role model anyway. I don't know if you have the means to do this, but maybe you could hire a private detective to either prove or disprove if she is having an affair. You didn't mention if you are in the first stages of divorce, and even if she is having an affair, it wouldn't impact the divorce per se, but it might give you the answers to the nagging questions you have of WHY she is behaving this way. The way she has handled your marital issues, she doesn't deserve any more chances from you, but I hope you can seek out some counseling or a support group to help you put this chaos and drama far behind you and your kids. Best wishes.
2007-05-17 23:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry but i think you know deep down that the baby wasn't yours not just the fact that she had the abortion but she also left you. yes she could have said to herself that she wanted out of the marriage and having another baby in a relationship she's not happy in doesn't make any sense but also I'm sure a part of her would have thought of trying to stay and make it work especially if you spoke of having more kids I say be glad she left if she stayed and had the baby and it wasn't yours you would have been liable for taking care of the baby's expenses till you got a court ordered paternity test but by then you probably would have been attached to the child be glad that she's gone and now you can find a decent woman who wants the life you do GOOD LUCK
2007-05-17 23:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sunnie Taylor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just didn't want to have another child, but then after she had the abortion she felt deep regret. After abortions, many women go through a time where they try to distance themselves from their partner and suddenly try to start a new life. They try to start a new life so that they can forget about the mistake that they made. I've seen it happen to many friends and they often begin to practice some destructive behaviors as well. Sure, she may have cheated on you but this also may be what's going on. Good luck...you must be going through such a hard time right now.
2007-05-17 23:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by KMS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you worry too much about your soon-to-be-ex-wife's actions at this point. Raising a child on your own is daunting. Do you really think that all it takes is some child support to make it manageable? What about the huge responsibilities, the effort involved, the total life committment. Your attitude of; "oh, it'll be fine, I'll get child support" is pretty stunning in its naivete. Sounds like she wanted out of the marriage for a while. And you think it's cold that she left you and your children? My-o-my, it's all about your needs isn't it? You have enough to concentrate on without weird paranoid speculation. Try being a good father to your children. Focus on that. It's where your attention is needed, it's where your attention is required.
2007-05-17 23:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married women do have abortions. Women do bad things too you know, not just men. Maybe she felt over whelmed. She didn't want a kid. Maybe she decided she doesn't want you or her other kids anymore. It sucks, and she sucks for it, but it happens. It doesn't mean the baby wasn't yours. Right now, all it means is she's gone. I don't know if her cheating on you will make it easier or harder for you to let her go. Does it really matter at this point? Just give it time and see. If she starts dating some guy super fast, she was probably seeing him already.
2007-05-17 23:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she already had this plan ahead of time. Even if she wanted to leave you I wouldn't think she would want to leave her kids too. I think you have the right idea she has another man that doesn't want kids. Especially not ones from you. What a heartless *****, better to have her gone, you're better off without her.
2007-05-18 00:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by shorty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether or not your wife is cheating on you, i think you and your wife should get marriage counseling judging by what you wrote. I think it'll help you work out your problems and differences. You both deserve to be in a loving, caring, and understanding relationship, and its gonna take sometime but you got married and you have to stick it out and make it work. Call Loveline at 1800 Love-191, and talk to Dr. Drew hes a genius, and he knows everything. :)
Good Luck!
2007-05-17 23:27:49 · answer #8 · answered by esthie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your intuition was right,when your no longer the center of there lives its usually something drastic.unless she,s 35 and older?that dirty word make woman do things for dumb reasons. p.m.s must keep chugn for the kids sir.
2007-05-17 23:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by MIKE S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it was I agree but everything comes out in the wash you will find out soon or a later what her intentions are.lol
2007-05-17 23:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋