what would you do? i mean should i just forgive and forget. he lied becuase he's protecting me from getting angry. something kind of a white lie and nothing really to it. but it's a big deal for me. i don't like lying.
2007-05-17 16:16:00 · 19 answers · asked by genericmamaw 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it's not the end of the world or something huge, then you may as well forgive him. Are you going to divorce him over this white lie? If you think it's going to lead to bigger lies then you need to tell him it can not happen again, and make him understand that.
My husband did the same thing once. It was pretty big. Too long to explain, but nothing terrible like cheating on me or anything. I eventually found out, and he told me he didn't tell me about it because he didn't want me to get mad at him. He knew I was going to find out eventually though, and he knew he was just delaying the inevitable. I told him I was more mad about the lying (which i was)! Make him undertsnad it's you two against the world, not against each other. Good luck.
2007-05-17 16:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My personal opinion about lying is that if you start to tell your spouse a little white lie then it will amount to bigger things. why lie in the first place, if he wanted to protect you from getting angry he should have told you sooner as you are even more angry now. Lying in a good relationship is no good, be honest or don't do anything that you have to lie about. Remember that is easier to forgive but never easy to forget as you will always wonder if he is telling you the truth.
2007-05-18 02:36:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its never a good thing to lie. But everyone does it from time to time. I am sure that you have told white lies too. If he did it to protect you at least he loves you enough to want to protect you. I'm not saying its good to lie, but everyone does it. If its just a white lie, that is a good thing. It's when they start lying all the time or with something very important to your marriage when you should be concerned. but dont throw him away over a white lie.
2007-05-17 23:28:22 · answer #3 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't like him to lie to you even a white lie that will do no harm, just tell him directly that you don't like it. Tell him seriously that it hurts your feelings and make sure he don't repeat the same mistake again. You may forgive him this time, but with a condition that if next time, he did it again to you, then, he has already broken the trust bet. you and him. In a marriage, both husband and wives are not allowed to tell a lie as this will definitely hurt each other's feelings. Tell him this seriously and the consequences if he breaks the law unless he's waiting for any problem to arise in his marriage by lying. Just tell him how you feel and if he truly loves and appreciates you, he'll not do it again as he'll be aware the consequences of breaking the trust bet. you and him.
2007-05-17 23:25:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The one thing I can't stand is a liar, but some men seem to think it's ok to lie so they don't have to deal with the backlash. It all depends on what he is lying about. Lying gets ingrained in people, it becomes a habit. I would let him know that you don't like it and are adult enough to handle the truth. Good luck sweetie:)
2007-05-17 23:25:44 · answer #5 · answered by casey308 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband had lied to me also. Talking his BS about I didnt tell u because I didnt want to hurt you.
Well I am the type of person who wants to know , I would rather know about it and be hurt for a few days then to find out some other time or place. To me Lying is a big DEAL. No matter what
2007-05-17 23:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by aprilangel4 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Most people, i think , would rather not lie to their wife. The situation is then situated in the reason why he lied. Did he lie because he is afraid of the consequence of something bad that he did? Did he lie to protect you?
Neither of these reasons are acceptable for lying. I think the most important is do you agree with his motivation for lying to you. In other words, do you accept his underlying intention to lie to you? If his intention was to protect you, how do you feel?
I once had a ex who cheated and lied to me, because he didn't want to lose me. But in the end, i couldn't accept nor understand his intentions for cheating, even though i understand why he had to lie. I couldn't stay with him, because i know myself to be a person who could not accept anyone who does not have the courage to stand up for their own mistakes.
2007-05-17 23:32:44 · answer #7 · answered by madaline 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What caliber of lie are we talking about?
I mean, he said he was at work when he really went to the bar with the boys?
He said he was at work and went he really to the hotel with his mistress?
Then you have to tell him he must be honest in all dealing with you, BUT you will not get angry. If he tells the truth and you burn out a bearing, you are forcing him to lie all the time
2007-05-17 23:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends what he lied about. If he lied about that he was going to the grocery store when he was actually buying you a birthday present thats fine, but stuff like affairs and saying he would be places when hes not is NOT ok. talk to him and tell him whats on your mind. tell him that if hes not truthful with you, your relationship isnt gonna last. good luck
2007-05-17 23:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by Hannah G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how serious that issue to protect you from it or is it him over your anger? (just curious). anyway, you should have some rules on that for your husband or the two of you from each other.
be open minded and have a sense of understanding.
talk about it and forgive him. who didn't lie once or twice (or many times) in our lives to save our butts? whatever it is, it's past. just try not to hide things from each other.
2007-05-17 23:29:13 · answer #10 · answered by Sheri 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋