Did he hit me or was it an accident?

Question

Could someone please help - tonight as we were making dinner, i pinched my husband on the behind (probably a little hard) and he swung his fist back and hit me in the abdomen really hard. He said it was because I hurt him and he didn't mean to. I was so upset and I haven't been able to look at him since. He's a really angry person and when he gets angry he throws things around and bangs on stuff all the time. When things aren't going well he does actually scare me and so I am wondering if maybe i am letting this cloud my judgement in this case. He tried apologising to me and bringing me cookies with a sad face and when I wouldn't laugh he stormed off acting really frustrated. Am I right to be upset or do you think it was just an accident?

I want to thank you all who have already answered my question. This is the first time something like this has happened. Usually when he gets mad I leave and go into the bedroom and I hear him throwing stuff and yelling. I guess the thing that annoyed me the most was that he tried to blame me for what happened as opposed to being concerned about me. His eyes were just pure anger because he said that I hurt him.

Answer 1

after he hit you, did you look at his face? was it sad, surprised or content.. what? maybe that'll give you a clue whether it was an accident or on purpose. If thats the first time he has hurt you physically, MAYBE it was a mistake, who knows.. but consider going to anger management with him and get him help if he's aggressive, thats way it wont develop into more problems..

but don't let him get to you. because it probably was not an accident and he just wants to make you think it was. the pinching and him hitting you was probably a good timing for him to hit you. who knows.. but if he ever ever tries to do it again, leave straight away.. even if you 'love him'.. because it will get worse. good luck <3

Answer 2

After reading your question five times to see if I can see it was an accident. But there are some questions did come out of it.
1) Did you know he had an angry problem when the two of you were dating?
2) You knew he is a very angry person, why did you playful pinch him?
3) For him to hit you that hard over a pinch, I can't buy that tell if it was told by a very good liar.
4) Why haven't he got any professional help with his angry problem?
5) How long are you going to lived with a ticking time bomb?

I see that he is a rotten brat that have to have things his way, if not, he will tear up the house. He have some very seriously issues. You do have the right to be very upset with him and his reaction from a pinch. And no sad face cookies is going to smooth things over. I suggest that you talk to him about his angry problem and suggest to him to get some help. And that you would go with him to therapy. If he blow up and behave like a brat and want to tear up the house. You need to take a very long good look at your relationship with him. Talk to him about his behavoir, tell him that he have hit you once and that will be his last time that he put his hand on you in that manner. That you can't go on living scare when he go off like a loose cannon. Make this very clear with him, if he want to agure about it, don't give him any fuel to go off and tear up the house.

I don't find his apologizes was sincerely enough to belive it was an accident. And the way he storm out of the room because you didn't laugh when he brought you some sad face cookies. That action of his only prove that he wasn't sincere about hitting you in the abdomen. Now he have hit you once (far as you said) and more likely he will do it again.
My finding is this, yes you have all the rights to be angry with him. No, you're allowing your judgement to be clouded from his behavoir. And heck no, it wasn't like you was trying to choke him from behind, that wasn't an accident. That is my opinion...good luck

Answer 3

If he is an angry person given to throwing things around, you must have experienced this in the past. It's no accident. I hope you aren't willing to continue to live with a man like this. Get yourselves into some serious counseling or get out. His anger is a problem.

Answer 4

I could see how he might swat at you in reflex but not actually punch you in the stomach really hard. I honestly don't see how you could have pinched his butt hard enough to get that type of response.
You are definetly right to be upset. It honestly sounds to me like you are going to find yourself in a really bad situation very soon. I mean he already scared you because of his temper and now he "accidentally" hit you.
Good luck and leave if you need to!

Answer 5

When I first started reading your question and explanation, in the first few sentences, I though it was an accident--you know, an automatic reflex.

However after I read the whole thing and how much detail you shared about his anger, throwing things, and being scare of him.......you know what? IT DOESNT MATTER whether this one incident was accidental or on purpose.

Sweetie, you have a very serious issue. Please get out before you are harmed.

Answer 6

His blaming you, for his hitting you is a text book case of men who abuse women. Either he gets therapy NOW and starts taking responsibility for his own actions and anger issues or it WILL get worse. There is no ifs, ands or buts about it, he WILL get worse. It's just a matter of time. Lay on the line and give him an ultimatum--don't be afraid to stand up to him. If you're afraid or uncomfortable with approaching him with this, then you already have your answer as to how to address this. My thoughts are with you. Be safe..

Answer 7

Get out before it's too late. He keeps on doing this again and again, and one day, you might not make it out alive, let alone wake up the next day. I've been in a situation like this before and I got out before it was too late. I don't want to sound mean, but if you get into this kind of thing, stick around. Don't let him buy your love and/or attention it will only cover up until the next time~if there's a next time you make it out. Protect yourself and get out. Your life is more valuable than sticking it out with this guy. There is someone out there for you who won't treat you like this~it may not seem like it now, but believe me, I found the right guy. We are married and he has NEVER, EVER hit me. He won't. We might disagree and walk away mad but he has never raised a hand towards me or any of my children. Keep your chin up!

Answer 8

It should like an accident. If someone scares me from behind, I jump and scream and beware of flying hands too. But it also sounds like he as a bad temper so be on the look out for other signs.

Answer 9

How do I explain this ???
Years ago, I had a serious temper problem.
I was mad at every thing and every body ( included
at myself ). My ex-wife had slapped me ( playfully ),
but still, harder than she intended. I drew my fist back
out of reaction... but I never hit her. Even in my 'anger'
I still knew better than to hit a female just because she
had hit me.
My wife now insisted that I get a complete physical
shortly after we got married. We discovered that I
had a chemical imbalance which has been corrected
by medication...which I am so indebt to her because I
actually 'like' myself today.
If he won't seek medical help, and you don't want to
leave him... I hope you like hospital food .

Answer 10

Sounds dangerous. Anger is a symptom of something deeper going on. The fact that he brings you cookies is an abusive pattern.