I used to be a bully, now I have deep regret?

Question

When I was little, I was mean to other kids, especially those that seemed weak. I was even mean to my cat. I know that is so bad but I had to say it. I love animals and feel horrible about this now...My mom tried to make me nice but I think I was just evil inside. Now I am grown up but I still find it hard to be nice to people that seem weak to me. I just want to crush them and tell them to stand up for themselves!!

I was also abused by my father and brother - physically. I know this probably has something to do with it but I guess I just don't know if I will ever get over being so mean.

Any advice?

Answer 1

You were traumatized, and so you acted out, and continued the cycle of violence. It doesn't justify your actions. But it does provide some insight into what created your problem. But now that it's your problem, you have to deal with it. I think It's good that you feel some guilt, and this could be a motivation for you to get into therapy.

Answer 2

You were picking on others because you were picked on at home.
You had no safe haven.

My childhood was the same.
I was bullied outside the home and tormented and neglected within the home, so I also beat the crap out of my little brother...viciously.

To this day, my family is not close.
I have apologized to my siblings, sincerely, but there is still no communication.

I also regret and dwell on things I did in the past.
It is something that will just make you crazy but can't help doing it.

Good luck.

At least know this.
You KNOW how wrong it was. You regret it now.
Even tho you cannot take it back, you are a better person now for admitting to yourself you were a bully.
Don't beat yourself up over it. What is done is done.
All you really can do is try to apologize to those you hurt, if possible and then the ball is in their court.

Answer 3

You have created this bully in yourself to compensate for how you felt when you were being abused. You look at the little girl(you) that was abused and see someone who is weak. You are having problems dealing with the weakness that you had (Please Know the abuse was not your fault) but because you couldn't do anything about it you take it out on people that are weaker than you. It is quite common in abuse cases. You dont feel that you can do any harm to the abuser but you have to get the anger out in some way. Please seek professional counseling. Also there is no time limit on reporting abuse cases.

Answer 4

Antisocial behavior complex is a serious problem.

Most parents just think it is just a childhood phase, but in adulthood, anti-social behaviors can make you lose your job, isolate you from friends and family, and even put you in prison.

You can't just get over it. You need help from a real psychologist who can diagnose your problem and treat it.
I had that problem growing up, I was constantly bullied and bullying others as a way of feeling adequate.

It was that feeling of being inadequate that landed me in prison for arson. The court ordered me to go to Group Counseling every week.
That was the best use of tax dollars I ever seen. Counseling helped me get over all the angry feelings, and depression I felt from being alone.

You need to talk to someone about your problems, how you feel. Counseling will help you alot.

Answer 5

Do some community service. Get involved in an activity that does some good for someone else. It's refreshing knowing you've helped someone.

You may also want to get a professional's help with the history of physical abuse. It would be worth looking into at least.

Answer 6

Being abused as a child will either make you a weakling in adulthood. A weakling who takes everyone's crap, but it very full of rage on the inside. These types of people bottle everything up inside, and then one day they snap and take a gun to work or school and shoot lots of people.

Then there are the people who are abused as a child and they have rage issues and actually express the rage and are un-nice to people. (This describes you, eh?) You are blunt? You don't care what anyone thinks of you? If someone doesn't like you then they can kiss your butt? (sound like you?)

There are millions of therapists in the world, hun. It's nothing to be ashamed of to go visit a shrink and get some professional advice. It's ok to ask for help. You seem great to me!

Good luck and go talk to a psychiatrist and try to work out some of your anger issues and abuse issues.

Cheers and *hugs*

Answer 7

forget what happened to you. start over. live a clean, fresh new life, and this time, you will learn from your mistakes. who cares what other people think about you? as long as you know, that you've learned from your mistakes, and that you've changed for the better, then live your life happily! so just act like nothing happened, but deep inside you know what happened, and you've learned from it. look on the bright side in situations, you'll feel a whole lot better!

Answer 8

Landmark Education offers The Forum. Google the company and do their weekend to see how your mind creates this.

Answer 9

just think about the good things in life
disregard people's weaknesses and think about the wonderful things about them.

Heck, run outside and scream at the top of your lungs!
Just have fun with your life and if you forget about being mean and your past, then your future will be more welcoming.
Good luck and eat five packs of bubble tape all at once

Answer 10

i love that ur admittin ur proplem and ur tryin seriously to fix it
sounds like u ve been through alot
u shuold try harder in changin ur attitude toward weak ppl by being nicer to thim

good luck