is it possible for OTHERS to Know you BETTER than you Know YOURSELF?

Answer 1

I think the very best others can do for me, is give me perspectives of how others see, or may see me. This doesn't mean they know me better than I know myself, but it's rather fascinating. About a year ago, three friends--individually--let me know they thought of me as someone who always saw the bright side of things, who bounced back from adversities, & made them laugh. I hadn't "thought" about that part of me, yet I realized it ws true. Did that mean they knew me better,
or wasn't I just being myself all along? & wasn't that just ONE facet of the total me that they saw? I'm very introspective, & very truthful with myself. I don't think anyone has ever fully known me, (not sure I'd want them to). No, I don't think it.s possible.

Edit: Thoughtfully reading the answers, I quite related to patzky99, & cupofjavaa also. Some very good answers here!
Yet, I don't see how someone can "know you better" because a different side of you is coming out with them? Isn't their perception rather singular, then???

Answer 2

Absolutely, from their perspective. Consider a physical
analogy in which a speaker can't observe their facial
expressions, but the audience can observe the speaker's
facial expressions. It isn't too uncommon that the body
experience unconscious physical reflexes which third
party observers are better situated to explain than
the individual experiencing the reflex. Knowing is
connected to thinking which is affected by both
conscious and preconscious. Preconscious thoughts
can be observed by third party observers before
the individual consciously identifies the preconscious.
Perhaps the most concrete evidence is comparing
the intuitive knowledge to the scientific knowledge.
An individual can intuitively know things and act on
those things appropriately. Another individual can
scientifically know things and act on those things
appropriately. In my opinion, the scientific approach
is more knowledgeable than the intuitive approach
such that science provides explanation of why it
is intuitively possible to act appropriately. Therefore,
if an individual acts intuitively and another individual
acts scientifically on the same subject then the scientific
individual is better equipped to explain the intuitive
individual than the intuitive individual is to explain the
scientific individual. Which isn't to say that an intuitive
individual can't outperform a scientific individual, but
is to say that the scientific individual knows more about
what they are doing.

Answer 3

I know it’s possible for others to SEE me better than how I SEE myself. That's because I don't get to carry a mirror with me wherever I go. Self reflection is a hard thing to do. No one ever bothers to take the time at the end of the day to sit down to reflect and examine how others around you reacted to the things you've done or said.

So one might know oneself well, but at the same time fail to realize the effect one has on other people, and what their perceptions are.

But to answer your question;

I personally do not believe that another person would actually know the workings of my mind as intimately as I do, not even my soul mate. It would require more than ESP abilities to be able to grasp the depth of how my feelings are on certain things or subjects or events.

They might GUESS, I guess. They can make conclusions and assumptions based on how they perceive me, or how I reacted to things/situations in the past, but that's just perspective. The outlook is different from every vantage point, depending on who's looking at me.

But there are times, however, when we are not aware of the potentials that we can achieve in life, and need people knocking the sense into us. This is again attributed to the fact that we don't have a mirror to see ourselves at all times. But when we do finally realize and understand our abilities and limitations, it is only us, ourselves that would know how to use them to the greatest advantage.

Answer 4

You know I've always wondered that myself. Its a very tricky question. Because after all nobody can read your mind. They cant always tell what your feeling. Right? But i think that when one find "the one" or whatever the hell you want to call it, when you find that person, they should understand you and empathize with things in your life. So i think that somebody can know you JUST AS MUCH as you know yourself, but not BETTER. I dont see how its possible.

Answer 5

Absolutely but there is no one else capable of knowing more about you than you. If you have not spent the time to get to know yourself then it is very likely and happens plenty of times that others do know us better than ourselves.
Usually it is in the things that we just don't want to admit to ourselves or in a characteristic that we have become so accustomed to that we don't even realise it.
So Yes, I do believe that in certain circumstances, others can know us better than ourselves.

Answer 6

To a point I could say Yes but than again I dont think that one person could know every aspect of another. Lots of times people judge by what they want to believe is true about you.

And yes some of your closest friends/family could know the little underlying things about you that you refuse to acknowledge but only to an extent.

Answer 7

I use the Johari Window. There are four areas in which Knowledge falls:

a.) Things known by others, but not by me.

b.) Things known by both me and others.

c.) Things unknown to both me and others.

d.) Things known by me, but not by others.

Yes, in some areas, like a.) above others can know me better than I know myself. In this area I lack their perspective, but this accounts for only 1/4 of the knowledge concerning me. In areas b.) and d.) I have the advantage. I also have a greater vested interest in learning what I do not know about myself.

It's been a while since I've looked in the mirror, do I have spinach in my teeth?

Answer 8

Yes, I am often times too close to the heart of any given situation to see all sides clearly. A mature-minded individual who knows me well can give sane comments that I can use to better myself. That same person can also see how I utilize their suggestions.

Answer 9

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing while others judge us by what we have actually done. And in that case others have a better change of understanding us unless we are like J. Krishmamurthi or or some self realized soul.

Answer 10

no one knows for sure if someone else sees things in them that they cannot see themselves. the johari window...

but so far as knowing me BETTER than i do, i don't buy it, and here's why... others draw conclusions based only on the actions they perceive... my behavior. they don't necessarily understand the motivations or the reasonings BEHIND those behaviors. even if they ask, i might not tell, or i could deceive.

so although they might observer things i do that i'm not aware of, and can even come to some conclusion about what they see (hear, etc.)... they do not get the WHOLE picture. only i'm privy to that!