i just had a baby?

Question

ok my son is 5 1/2 weeks old and i am due to go back to work on tuesday. my fiance does not want me to go back and says he'll leave me if i do. i said go ahead because if he loved me he wouldn't say that. i am switching to part time though because i am breastfeeding and it's hard tp pump so much. he tries to make me feel bad by saying i don't care about Cohen(my son) because i don't want ot stay home wiht him but i lvoe him more then anything. i think he just doesn't want the burden of watching him on the weekends because my step mother is watching him in the mornings 4 hours a day. waht do you think, need some good advise please

i want to go back to work becasue i know we DO need the moeny but for some reson he seems to think that we don't but i also enjoy my job and the time i have there for myself

his mohter did not even breastfeed, in fact he was raised by his aunt becasue his mohter couldn't handle it

we did talk about it and said i was and he changed his mind when the time came

Answer 1

You are in a really TOUGH position!! Its hard ENOUGH leaving your newborn at home to return to work... your fiance needs to realize that!! I'm sorry but he sounds like a real A$$! If he wants to leave b/c you are going back to work so that you can help financially and feel better about yourself then LET HIM!! You dont need a man in your life that is going to make you feel BAD for doing something that most men would be PROUD to have thier wives do!!

PLUS you have all those hormones that are going to start RAGING soon!! (Look out b/c they start spinning out of control around 7 weeks or so!!) Whatever you decide to do, make sure that YOU make the decision that is best for YOU and BABY (not your fiance b/c truthfully its not your place or your job to cater to HIS selfishness and childish ways!)

One thing that you may want to do is sit down w/ your hubby-to-be (when you are both in a GOOD mood) and ask him WHY he feels this way and WHY he feels the need to make this harder on you then it needs to be! It might be that he is SCARED to be alone w/ the new baby!! Men can be a bit "gunshy" w/ such tiny little ones!! It might be HIS fears that are coming out in a mean and selfish way!

Like I said though... do what YOU feel is right! YOU are mommy and you know what YOU need to do to feel good and appreciated! But also dont be scared to admit that it was too early if you do get to work and after a few days feel like you should still be at home w/ Cohen! That is ALSO your right... after all, us women are KNOWN for changing our minds! LOL

As far as the pump... talk to your doctor or the hospital you had Cohen at and ask how much an electric breastpump would be to rent (I rented mine for $55 a month).... they are WONDERFUL!! With the hand pump it took me a good 1 1/2 hrs to pump 2 bottles.... and w/ the electric I could pump 4-5 bottles in about 15 minutes!!! It was GREAT!!! :) I LOVED that thing!! LOL

Good luck and just do what YOU feel is right and continue enjoying that beautiful new baby boy of yours!! These are the days that you will ALWAYS remember!! :)

Answer 2

Is there any way you can stay home for just a little while longer? You need to establish a good breastfeeding routine for at least the first 2-3 months, before you start using a bottle. You could wind up with nipple confusion (google it) where the baby will not accept the bottle, or will not accept the breast anymore. Plus, the first 3 months, they are basically still infants.

After that, I'd support your decision to go back to work, if that is what you really want to do.

But, you and your fiance should have talked about this sooner!!

Answer 3

I have two kids and I work and pretty much always have, that doesn't mean that you don't love your children I know I love mine more then anything in the world. I would say don't give up your career to please your fiance because if things go bad between the two of you what are you going to do you won't have a job anymore to support your son. I think that he is just trying to control what you are doing or at least that is how it sounds to me. You should do what ever you want if you want to go back to work then go back to work don't let him make that decision for you. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

You need to do what is right for you. If you are happy staying at home, be thankful that your fiance would support that decision, because so many men today insist that the mothers go to work even though they would rather not.

But, it is NOT fair to condemn a grown woman to stay home all day with no adult company if she doesn't want to. If it is so important to him that the baby stay home, ask HIM to cut down on his hours of work.

Your fiance isn't being mature at all about this. Throwing ultimatums and accusations at you is no way to treat you. He is being controlling and manipulative. Tell him you won't discuss the issue until he can give you the respect you deserve.

Answer 5

Sounds like he's still carrying his own unhappy childhood and is afraid to see the same thing happen to his child.
Working part-time is the best solution, I worked full time and sometimes more than 1 job when my kids were small because I "thought" we couldn't manage otherwise, however I'm older now and the kids grown, I would give anything to have those years back, they go by too fast, so a word of wisdom from an older Mom, never work outside of house more than you really need to, but understand your own need for to be an individual, and really part-time is the best way to go. Good Luck and Welcome to Motherhood !

Answer 6

You have every right to want to go back to work. I love my kids more than anything, and my fiance would love for me to stay home, but 1) we can't afford it (at all)and 2) I can't stand being home with the kids all the time. Men don't understand what it's like to be told that they need to stay at home because you are the woman and it's "your job to stay home". Tell him the same thing I told my fiance... If you think one of us should stay home, why don't you...I would go crazy if I was forced to be a stay at home mom. Explain to him that you are only going part time and that you won't be "on call". If you need the money there is nothgin to do except work a little more.

Children are only little once, but to keep sane with them, you need your time too. Good luck and hope everything works out.

Answer 7

If the only reason that you are going back to work is because you think you need the money and your fiance is telling you that you don't, then by all means you should stay home with your baby. Now if you want to work just to work and do something else besides taking care of your baby then go to work. This should be your decision but if you really don't need the money I would just stay at home. The best decision I've made is staying at home with my daughter!! I've watched every single one of her milestones. Never missed her first steps or first words. Ultimately its your decision.

Answer 8

Maybe he really believes it is best for your son to have a full time parent at home. Maybe he is afraid of seeing your breastfeeding relationship possibly get compromised if you go back to work. Was his mom a SAHM? Maybe he sees that as the ideal. You guys need to sit down and talk this through. Think about what your reasons are for wanting to go back to work. Do you really need the money? Is the amount of money worth the separation from your child, as you can never get these early years back!

Answer 9

1. Ryan Hunter Smyth, he proposes exactly a year from when we met on the beach. 2. Purple and white, we honeymoon in aruba. 3. 2 storys, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms. big backyard with a pool. a modern interior. 4. Matthew Asher 5. Scarlett Alexis and Ella Liyla 6. Daisy Elana 7. Ace Hayden 8. Gavin Daniel, Kaylie Emma, and Arianna Leah Matt Scarlett Ella Daisy Ace Gavin Kaylie Arianna

Answer 10

Okay as a working mom, I say go back to work. But as a working mom I say it's too early to go back to work. This is the only time your little guy is going to be a newborn and breaking this bond you have with him this early isn't a good thing! You legally have 12 weeks family leave, take it! You can go back to work part time after that time period is up. I HAD to go back to work when my son was 10 weeks old and it almost killed me! I couldn't image leaving him any earlier!