Is it wrong to be ashamed of being Mixed Raced?

Question

for a long time now i have been deeply insecure about myself, i am the only light skinned person in my immeadiate family and was told that my darker family were to ashamed to be seen with me because i appeared to be mixed and lighter, i can understand because of the many prejeducies and injustices my family went through coming from the caribbean to england in the 70's. My father is a white man who i've only met a handful of times and who wants nothing to do with me, i can accept this and always refer to myself as black when asked and NEVER 'mixed raced'. I admit i am a little insecure about the colour of my skin and regularly use sunbeds and only date the darkest men. I feel rejected by my white father and don't see why i should embrase a culture which doesn't embrase me, is this attitude wrong?, or am i right to be proud of the culture i have?

Answer 1

First of all, I am also of mixed race. My father was jamaican, mother white. You should never ever be ashamed of yourself. Your culture is separate from you. You need to realise that your culture does not define you as a person, only you can do that. You cannot look to outside influences to know who you are, but look inside yourself.

I used to be ashamed of the colour of my skin because I went to an 'all white' school. But as time went by I realized that it didn't matter what other people thought of me or how they 'classed' me what they called me etc, all that really matters is what kind of a person I am. And I realized that I am a nice person and that's that, so who cares what anyone else thinks.

Also think about this. If people call you a mongrel or a half breed or any other derogatary term, just think, you are more unique than any black person, or any white person. There are not that many people of mixed race probably less than most other kinds of people, maybe we are the future.

Answer 2

Leona, you have the basis to be insecure. The world has done that to all who are of mixed race. Let me explain. In America in the slave day, when a master took a female slave, the resulting offspring was never regarded a "white". Because blacks were less than human (then) and their women was just for sport. Also biologically, the women carried you for 9 months and looked after you in those early days (not the white lady of the manor). So, naturally most half breeds leaned towards their back roots.
This in no way means that you are black or white........you are neither black nor white......BUT a beautiful mix.
You have the best of both worlds. You naturally have what many whites would die for i.e. darker skin tone (see how many die from skin cancer yearly) and your hair is easier to handle (black women spend more on straightening thier hair, than the entire budget of some African nations). These are the lamest examples, but you get my gist. You have what many die for or pay for. So, I say, you should be PROUD with it. You should stand upright and on roof tops, shout it out and be happy that you are a perfect blend.

Blacks and Whites have their own bad eggs. It is painful when your biological father does not accept you. WELL, that honestly is his problem. You can't change the fac that he is who he is. Just move on.........no matter how the rejection hurts. If and when he sorts himself out, he may come back, but don't hold your breath!
As for the dark skinned folks, you have to understand their plight. When "one of theirs" turn out to look like their oppressor, you can understand the resentment eh!
Again, this is not your battle.
Leona, there is ONLY one you. In your beautiful skin...no matter its colour, its scars or how many zits you have.
Know now and tell your self every morning and noon, how special you are. You are a child of this world, not a culture or a race or a skin tone.

Answer 3

There's no reason to be ashamed of being mixed raced. There are SO many mixed race people in America, that frankly, it makes no difference anymore. Being mixed race should not bother your relatives unless they are insecure or uneducated. You should only worry about making an impression on people based on your personality, character, and intelligence, because that is the most lasting impression. You probably feel like you can't identify with anyone, because your white father does not accept you and your darker family is ashamed to be seen with you. Both your father and your family are being cruel to you as a person. Find solace in friends, just remember that you don't need to 'belong' to a race because you are an individual and all that matters is who you are. :]

Answer 4

You are a beautiful person and every race was created by God and is beautiful. Do not be ashamed of yourself because of other people's ignorance. Just because your family experienced racial hardships does not give them the right to judge or have anemocity toward you or an entire race of people. Now is the time to free your mind of all the negativity and forget about what other people say. You don't necessarily have to embrace a culture, but you should show love and respect for every human being, and race shouldn't even be an issue. From now on, just be free to be you. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

No........... don't be ashamed of what you are period. You are just right the way you are and you can't let your white dad having issues and not wanting you effect how you feel about yourself. Who told you your whole darker family, I assume most of your black family was ashamed? They don't accept you are mixed? People don't choose their parents and if they can't get over that then you should really feel bad for them. You need to talk to your family seriously. Identify with black and call yourself black that is fine but don't let the mistreatment you've received by your white father make you deny that you are of mixed race. You can't let your poor excuse of a father who is a white man be the example for his entire race. Though I do think your attitude is wrong I do empathize but you should be proud to be mixed.

Answer 6

you shouldn't be ashamed, its not your fault how you came out. Your father is out of order , cos he must have felt something for your mum at some time. I know alot of mixed race people and don't look at them as black or white, just normal like me. What a dull world it would be if we were all the same colour. Your not the first and won't be the last, so chin up an be proud of your colour.

Answer 7

go back far enough & you'll see that all races ultimately evolved from mixes of all soughts & variants. so called pure breeds are just long lasting strains of these mixes so basicly as long as your dna functions, your a human. All these troubles are of their mind. If they have no room within them to accomodate you as you are, well, you can only try & if they won't let you in to their world, then so be it. walk away, say so, then just leave. Its a big world out there, so don't let them drag you down with them. find/make your own culture/beliefs. What ever you do, don't end up yet another bitter shell saying what if I.... & by the way watch it with those sun beds, theres no such thing as sun (UV radiation) safe skin. Any best of luck in what you decide to do, time to do something for your self its your life & your job alone to find it for yor self.

Answer 8

You do not embarrass ANYONE dear.... it is those with the prejudices that should be embarrassed..... you didn't ask to be born and you certainly didn't ask to be born of a white ignorant father who should be castrated for what he did to you by leaving you like that... and your black relatives aren't any better... You are a gift...just as all children are---it should NOT matter what the color of your skin is. What SHOULD matter is what you are on the INSIDE, your spirit, your soul, your personality... just do yourself a VERY big favor, I KNOW it will be difficult, but if you DO this, things will get better for you..... IGNORE those who put you down...do well in school----study hard, and you can make a success of your life and be HAPPY in spite of all these negative people in your life right now----when you grow up to be someone like Halie Barry (one black parent, one white), or as good at sports as Derek Jeter or Tiger Woods---(BOTH have Black fathers and Derek's mom is white and Tiger's is asian) or as successful as all the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of people of mixed race in this country, then you will truly be happy with yourself--and you will find someone who loves you and I predict you will have happiness as an adult---you have to WORK for it, but don't let those around you get you down...your family will be sorry one day that they treated you so poorly.... keep your chin up and be PROUD of who you are....

Answer 9

RE: Are there old people ashamed of being mix raced?(dutch-indonesian ancestry)? okay so I need to a genealogy project I only know my mothers side is almost mixed with every european country..But I don't know anything about my fathers side of the family my father doesn't like his parents(don't know why) So first I did some research online about her surname and stuff...

Answer 10

In England? Don't be self concious and be happy you are unique. I personally think mixed races make the most beautiful people. Don't allow yourself to be controlled by what you think your family feels. Your mom was brave enough to ignore them and you should be too. They might not really care, it's just something they can pick on you for... (jealousy maybe?) and you should just smile and roll with the punches.

My roomate in college was from south africa and was 100% black, but had lighter skin. He sais it was difficult because he was teased a lot, but when he came to America he found it was a blessing because he looked "exotic."