Have you ever had to pawn things just to help pay bills?

Question

And did you get them back? Is that something to be ashamed about? I had to pawn some of my mothers jewelry to help pay my bills. I have 3 kids and I am a single mother. I work, but after my ex left 5 months ago I had a hard time keeping up. He pays child support, but that barley pays for food. When I asked him to help us a little more he said no. He lives with his mother at 41 years old and pays no rent or bills. He works full time. When I told him I had to pawn some of my dead mothers jewelry he laughed and said what a loser, your mom would be so mad at you. He looked at me and said it figures, if you can't take care of the kids why don't you give them to me and my mother. Instead of helping us, he wants me to fail. I take care of everything, house payment, bills, food, car payment, insurance. He lives bill free at mommys. He now has an older woman for a girlfriend, she has alot of money, and a beach house. He stays there also and pays nothing. Is it wrong to do what I had to?

Answer 1

You should never feel ashamed that you were forced to do something to provide for yourself and your kids. Life is different things to different people and most people would not even begin to understand where you are and what you have to do to get by. Nor would they understand the constant worry and stress that you are under because of your financial situation. You really do have to go through it to understand it.

What you need to do is to turn your situation around and prove to your ex, and more importantly to yourself, that you are strong enough and smart enough to stand on your own two feet and provide for your children without him and despite him. It can be done, believe me. It might not be easy but if you are determined enough, clever enough and prepared to make enough sacrifices you will come out of this a stronger, more determined and totally independent person.

Don't be wasting your time and stressing yourself out over the fact that your ex is a good for nothing leech. That is all negative energy that will only wear you down and make you bitter and, more importantly, will distract you and prevent you from ever gaining control over your life.

Concentrate on YOUR priorities and getting control of YOUR situation and work out what you need to acheive and how you can achieve it so that you and your kids can have the best possible life. You might need to cut back to the bare minimum on food and treats for a while or you might need to re-train so that you can get a better job or you might need to settle for family trips to the park instead of the cinema for a while or you might need to do a million things. Whatever it takes, you have to do it.

When you do get your life back on track, and I have no doubt that you will, you will not be in the slightest bit concerned about the opinions and comments of your sad little ex. You will realise how much better a person you are than him and will be able to have pride in yourself and treat him with the contempt he deserves.

Personall I would like to see you do it just to shut him up, but I would love to see you do it for yourself and your kids.

Have some inspiration to help you along.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKSE0ou67TI

Answer 2

The simple fact is being a single mom is the hardest job in the world. I wouldnt trade it for anything, however financially it is so tough. I wont even go into trying to juggle bills (and only the basics) and still have food to put on the table. I think that you did the right thing... I would pawn somthing if I had anything that I could pawn. I have taken cd's to the pawn shop to sell, I have got pay day loans to make ends meet. I work 6 days a week and no time for a part time job and I have over 1000 a month for day care now ( i have twins ) and a 12 year old. I think that you do what you have to do, and you did the right thing.. it seems like your x likes to see you fail so no matter what I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of asking for help, but I would let him know that he is a dirtbag for not helping out more when he can.

Answer 3

Baby gurl you had to take care of you and yours. There are many more times that may lie ahead where you may struggle again and have to do it again. For your sake I hope not.
I did not actually have to pawn anything but I did come close to doing it and at the last minute was able to avoid it. there is nothing wrong with sacrifice for your children.
I, too, had a vindictive ex who thought by making things hard for me and not helping his children that i would either go back to him or give him the children. I stayed strong and can take care of them without him.
You are so right about child support only doing so much. It does not go far, but you do have to remember it is support not a life line.
Good Luck to you, I hope you never have to be in a position again where you will have to pawn anything, and keep your head up. The first year that I was single was the hardest. Once everything falls into place you will see how smooth it all goes.
Take Care of you and the kids.

Answer 4

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are doing the best you can to take care of you and your kids. You should take your ex back to court to get his child support payments raised. It's the least he can do for you....help to support his own children. Yes I have had to pawn stuff to pay bills before and it made me feel really bad. I never got the stuff back but at least I had electricity and food. We all have to do whatever it takes to make it these days. I hate that you had to pawn things that meant something to you but you did the right thing to take care of your family. Try to find some assisstance in your area at least for groceries. There is a place called angelfoodministries and they are in many states. They provide food for a very low price and it is good. We have had to use them several times. You can look them up on the net just the way I wrote it. I wish you the best. Hang in there.

Answer 5

I've done it to. Surviving is nothing to be ashamed of. This guy's a real creep and despite things being harder without him, you and your children are better off. Anyone who would sit back and watch the mother of his children struggle is no one you should be around. One day, you'll look back on this and be able to laugh at him and say what a loser he is. As he is much more than a loser. One day you'll find a guy who knows how to treat a lady. Good luck.

Bunny hug.

E.B☺

Answer 6

I've pawned things just so I could eat. It sucks and we never did get it back either. Pawn shops suck. Yeah when your desperate it helps but think about the people who mostly pawn there stuff. Most of them are probably drug addicts and half stuff in a pawn shop is most likely stolen. I think we have to many pawn shops right now. In my town alone we have 8. Sometimes it is something that we have to do though. So don't feel to bad. But I still think they should minimize the amount of pawn shops.

Answer 7

You do what you have to do hunny. I hate dead beat das. My brother has three girls and left them all because he wants a boy. He is actually married now to the third babies momma but i don't see him sticking around. I did have to pawn a ring that was given to me by my ex fiance who committed sucide when my daughter was born to buy diapers. We were in a rough spot..but I did get it back. His family would never forgive me if I let that ring go. Don't feel guilty about it...it's called survival and it says a lot about you as a mother that you would do anything for your kids.

Answer 8

No! It is definitely not wrong! Your mother would totally understand. She would want the best for you and your kids. Do not give the kids to your ex! That would not be good for the kids. There is no shame in selling something to pay the bills I have had to do it. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I pawned a necklace that some guy gave me after I slept with him. I felt guilty wearing it and looking at it.

I think it's wrong that he laughed at you. You need to forget about him and quit stressing about what he's doing with his life. Work on going on without him. Maybe you will find someone else who is better later on.

Answer 10

no it isn't wrong....you did what you had to do....and if your mom was alive she would have helped you I'm sure of it;) Don't be ashamed of that, your ex is a loser for thinking it is funny that you are struggling with his flesh and blood. I hope everything works out with you and your family;) Be strong and hang in there! Good luck;)