Question for everyone?

Question

I've posted question in the past where I have asked if it would be possible to make male friends and have a significant other if you are an unattractive male, and have had people say that this was a possibility. I would be ling if I were to say that I haven't found a bit of hope in the idea that this is true, but it seems to contradict my own personal life experience. I guess it would be best to talk a little bit about myself. I'm 26 years old, 6' tall 180 lbs. brown eyes, brown hair. My face isn't that attractive, but I'm always well groomed and dress kind of in a buisness-causual type of way (button down shirts, with khakis etc) I have a military type hair cut and again I always have a neat appearance. Even though I try to take care of myself, I've never been able to meet someone that wanted to be my friend or significant other. I even have experiebces where I'm waiting for a bus and will have teenage guys scream at me. It makes me feel like a f****** a******.

If I were walking around with a completely messed up hair style or something I could understand, but it seems as though I can't even wait for a bus without someone saing something to me. Do I have any hope at all? It seems as though I'm f*****.

Answer 1

Okay, here is a true story for you. A drop-dead gorgeous 22 year old falls in love with a 36 year old man who is chubby, has a pot belly, crooked odd-looking teeth, is not at all attractive, and loves him dearly, even though theoretically she could have had any guy she wanted. They married, had children, and lived happily until the woman got ill, gained weight, lost her mobility, and the guy moved on. He was in love with the look ... not the person.

(postscript: the woman, still fat, being in a wheelchair, disabled and ill, met another man, a somewhat attractive older gentlemen, who loves her for who she is ...)

In case you missed it, the point of the story is it's all about personality, not looks. Any person worthy of a relationship will look past any perceived shortcomings in your appearance. Concentrate on becoming the kind of person everyone loves to be around ... confident, humorous, caring, thoughtful. Get into counseling to see what areas you can change about yourself. Often we lack confidence because of things in our past, and as we deal with those things, we become more comfortable with who we are, and our confidence grows. Develop hobbies of things you like and are good at, this will also increase confidence.

You WILL find a significant other ... I have no doubt. Right now, concentrate on discovering who YOU are, and developing that YOU to full potential, and you will in time find someome who has spent their life looking for that YOU!

Blessings to you.

Answer 2

Here's my story.
I am 26, 5'2 and 130 lbs. I have a little body and a cute butt. I have a symetricial face similar to Liz Hurleys. I have funky , long brown hair that never has a good day. I take care of myself and always take notice as to how other people percieve me based on my looks. I am a sweetheart and never treat anyone badly. I am too good looking for my fiance. He is 6 feet tall, 28, is bald on top so he shaves it completely bald( beating the game, as he says) He weighs 275 lbs and is overweight if not obese. We are so much alike in our mindwaves it's scary. We are both a bit masochistic. We both like watching movies in wide screen. We both put cracker in our soups. We were both sick of people cheating and lying. We love each other deeply to the point where if we'd spend the night apart, we're both psychicially ill. We do anything and everything for each other. We spend time together and apart, but, we always reconnect at the end of the night.
You will find the perfect girl for you, Shawn found me. We are alike in so many ways, its scary.I've gone out with hot guys, but they lie and cheat, and one even stole from me. I am so done with hot guys. They're *** holes. Yes, my taste in men has gone a bit off. But I get lost in Shawns eyes and it doesn't matter. He has personality and charisma, so looks don't matter. Are you cool, can you make a bad joke, or even a good joke? Can you flirt to get what you want? Find out what you are and then the girls will come. You don't really need a good friend, just an aquaitence, since good friends are already taken. Pick a cool cat from a movie and turn yourself into that character. Like Cody Lambert from, Step by Step. He was cool. Or the guy from, the transporter, he was cool. Just pick a movie and become "that guy". it helps a bit.
Just don't be a Stiffler. He's what I'd call an *** hole.

you seem like a nice guy with his head on forward. Just love yourself, I know its corny, but trust me, it works.

Answer 3

Joel, I have some very good news for you...guys really do not care what your face looks like as long as it is not terribly ugly, and I doubt that yours is. IF you want the key to success in finding and picking up men, get your butt to the gym and start working out. YOu probably are coming across as a geek, and that is not the image you want to put out there...dress down a little, tees and jeans are much better than dressy clothes. But a damned good body will win hands down over a pretty face, trust me on that one. IF you work out right, within 2 months you will see a very big difference. IF you do not know how to work out, get an older trainer at a gym, pay and do as he says...you will more guys on you than you know what to do with. IF you need further assitence, drop me an email. Good luck

Answer 4

Don't let teenage guys bring you down. You wrote a lot about how you look, but what about the real you? Are you positive about life, do you smile a lot, do you find it easy to talk to others? These are the things that are most attractive about people. Work on the personality part. You have the power to do anything you want, so get started. Goldwing had a point, too. :)

Answer 5

Honestly, looks don't matter to me. Not like it means much to you, seeing as we don't know each other, I am WAY to young for you (10 yrs), and we'll never know who each other, but I'd probably have the hots for you. From the way you describe yourself, that's my guess. Most of the guys I like at school, others don't think are that attractive. The way a guy dresses, and takes care of himself has a lot to do with whether or not I like them. That and personality. I mean, it doesn't hurt if they are good looking, but that doesn't really matter. Looks fade, and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Answer 6

By the book "The Secret". Read it and the rest will come. It's also on DVD. You lack the self confidence and you are not visualizing yourself with a significant other. Also, visulaize people leaving you alone. We are energy beings and you are pulling in the negative without exuding the positive. Buy the book or DVD. It's great stuff.

Answer 7

no, you have no hope....if you keep that attitude. listen, try as hard as you can to put out a persona that you don't care what others think about your appearance. no matter how awkward it feels at first. you will gain respect, then friendship & romance ( in that order). as long as you come off as not having respect for yourself and putting yourself down others will view you and treat you that way.

PS. you see this guy that I am using as my avatar? he's there because I admire him because he doesn't care what other people think about the way he looks. So throw your shoulders back and live life as if your hot stuff baby! wink

Answer 8

Although it is true that beauty is overstated in our country, I would say, Joel, to follow Goldwing's advice and LaDonna's.
Get some self love, work out and read "The Secret".
Hey, man, there's someone out there just for you.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Quit whining. If I was 6 ft tall and 180, I know people would leave me alone. Just be yourself, there is someone for everyone.

Answer 10

If you're tired of looking then just stop looking, let that person find you, it's just a matter of time, you're still so young, there's a lot of other important things to worry about.