My ex is telling all knid of lies to my kids ( your mom is having a boyfriend ) and ( your mom left because she is mean )
And recently my kids started telling me bad things " I hate you "
And all kind of bad stuff ?
Ofcourse none of it it's true ,but what can I do to stop this ?
My oldest is 10 and my twins are 6
Thank you !
2007-05-17 09:52:08 · 22 answers · asked by Juliet 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you can do is sit down with your kids and discuss things with them to make them understand that you are not a bad person. The ten year old is definitely old enough to know whether or not you're doing what your ex is saying. As for the six year olds, tell them if they question anything they hear, ask you so you can explain it to them. And if you do have a boyfriend, there is nothing wrong with that. All kids will tell their parents they hate them. Just be yourself with them and they will soon realize that what they are being told is not true. Hopefully one day your ex will grow up and stop this, but until then, it's up to you. Good luck.
2007-05-17 10:16:09 · answer #1 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
legally, there is not much you can do. You can't control what comes out of his mouth.
are the children seeing a psychologist or counselor currently?
If you have an attorney you could try to file for a change in custody, and talk about the things that your ex is saying. It can be hurtful for the mental health of your children.
a parent that tries to turn the children against the other parent will not have a very good standing in court.
you can just try to have his time with the children limited or supervised.
2007-05-17 09:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by Linsey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been separated from my husband for 4 months now and we have 3 kids.They are 15,14,12.The 15 and 12 year old live with him and my daughter just moved in with him.He is always telling them lies about me to them.Even when we were together he'd tell them that I had a boyfriend and all kinds of things and they knew it wasn't true.Now the kids don't even talk to me.Their dad has them so brainwashed to the point of no return. I'm hoping and praying that someday they will see how he truely is and will come to their sences.Good luck.
2007-05-17 15:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a custody order? If so, it may say something about the kids rights to not be subjected to that behavior. He can be found in comtempt of court. By badmouthing you, he is violating the court order. If you don't have a court order governing visitation, child support, ect - I would get one and make sure it stipulates your children's rights. I can't find my papers right now - but I'll post the exact wording when I do:)
2007-05-17 11:40:02 · answer #4 · answered by jes_gabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation. I have three kids and we've been apart/divorced for 2.5 years. The younger ones don't know what to believe, but once they hit 14 yo, they start to see the truth for themselves. I never once bad mouthed him, yet I continue to support them and provide a stable home environment. Actions speak louder than words and my 14 yo realizes that her father has mental problems without me telling her anything. Good luck, best wishes, at least you don't have to see him and be with him everyday!!!
2007-05-17 09:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by cargrrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can request a hearing with the judge regarding visitation privileges. I assume you are the custodial parent and he has visitation or occasional custody of them. Explain the problem to the judge and ask him to either refuse the father visitation rights or ask him to make it a court order that the father quit trying to usurp your position with the children.
Oh I forgot to mention, before you do this you better be sure that your skirt is clean and you are not trying to poison the children against their father. If you are, stay out of court. It is just tit for tat.
2007-05-17 10:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just laugh and say "gosh isn't daddy being silly". Ignore the I HATE YOU's.
Right now any emotional reaction from you in front of the children, or ANY bad talk about their father is going to reflect badly on you..just like it will reflect badly on HIM when they finally figure it out.
Best to start laughing when they repeat stuff he's told them...that will totally discredit him.
2007-05-17 09:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by Garrison G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, I don't think there's much you can do, simply explain to them you know what their father is telling them, and let them know why. Don't sugar coat things, let them know that what's been said isn't true and if you do have a significant other or will eventually let them know he'll be nice to them etc...that way they won't be freaked out when they realize you've moved on; you know? They're old enough to "get it" even if they truly might not understand, you know?
2007-05-17 09:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are laws against what he is doing in NJ. In my state, you cannot talk badly to your children about your ex or they can briong you into court and you can be held in contemot of court. That also applies to interfering with their privacy as well as their rights as a parent
2007-05-17 09:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot stop him from telling lies, but what are you doing to counter this slander?
You may want to see if you can take him to court for "defamation", as it is affecting the relatiosnhip with your children
2007-05-17 09:57:03 · answer #10 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋