Ok wait until you hear this one?

Question

I just had a miscarriage a few days ago, I didn't even know I was pregnant yet. I'm engaged and planning a wedding, no we're not as careful as we should be but if I get pregnant now or later, we're happy. Anyways, this is the problem. Girls, I love my fiancee but he likes his marijuana. He's not addicted to it but 3-4 times a month he smokes it and hides it from me until I confront him about it. My doctor said that because we're not trying, if I happen to get pregnant, this could be a problem. It could cause a miscarriage if he has the marijuana in his system when I conceive or the baby could have problems. What do you girls think about all of this?? How would you handle the situation to get him to understand that it's irresponsible and can cause damage to a child?? Or am I making a bigger deal out of it than it's worth?

Answer 1

Personally, I'd never get engaged, let alone date, a man that smokes marijuana. As with other illegal drugs it works on the pleasure center of the brain and depletes the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin. So what you're going to end up with one day is a man who cannot take pleasure in things that should normally bring a man happiness, like playing catch with his son in the backyard, because the only way he'll be able to release enough dopamine and serotonin to feel good is through drugs. I think you scream and b!tch and raise hell until he quits for good, then wait a year to see if it takes before marrying him. Otherwise, cut your losses and move on.

Answer 2

You can sit him down and explain to him that when you two are ready to have a baby that he has to clean out his system before you try. Tell him that you want a healthy baby and that him having it in his system could cause some complications and that your not comfortable with having that on your mind. I'm sure he'll understand and will stop for you. Also explain to him that after you concieve he can go back to his normal lifestyle but that untill your pregnant you want him to lay off it.
For what it's worth I don't really think there would be an effect on the baby if he's smoking pot. But I'm not a dr, it's your decision and if that's how you feel, then it's your perogative and I completely understand. Good luck and congrats!

Answer 3

Well he shouldn't have to hide it from you. That's a little shady. And I would just tell him that you had a miscarriage and that you had talked to the docotor about it and he said that smoking marijuana could be a cause in that. I mean if you don't tell him he won't know, but if you do tell him it may help him to stop. Because he killed a person by smoking marijuana, if indeed that's what caused the miscarriage. If knowing he has the capability to do that and he doens't feel bad then you need to talk to him about counseling. I hope everything works out.

Hope

Answer 4

First, sorry about your miscarriage. I agree with the first answer and that the real issue is him hiding it from you. Marriages are built on trust and how can you trust him on other things if he isn't even honest about weed? I'd work on that before saying your vows and having a child. As for it causing harm to the baby, I don't know for sure. However, I know how all my friends who still smoke weed are and how I am since I've stopped (well, basically I grew up). I can't stand them. I just want to scream "Do you have ANY brain cells!" I wouldn't want my child around that. Good luck.

Answer 5

If he hides it, how do you know it is only 3 times a month

I was smoking marijuana every day, sometimes even more than once a day. I realised on about 4 weeks that i was pregnant and then I totally stopped smoking. I also used exstacy and magic mushrooms about 2 months before i got pregnant.
My boyfriend started smoking less marijuana usualy at night after I have gone to bed. I left him just before my daugter turned 3 years old.
i have a beutifull healthy daughter of 4

Answer 6

sorry to hear of your loss. the best way to talk to him about it is when he is not smoking it. ask him how important is having a child to him. then tell him what the doctor said.
tell him that you feel very sad about the miscarriage even though you never knew you were pregnant. he may be smoking it because of wedding nerves but you would need to ask him about that.
my husband was smoking it when we had 2 of our children and they are normal, however, saying that i did suffer a miscarriage but i wouldnt blame that on the smoking. plus, only a tiny amount of the drug actually stays in the system. its enough to make you feel spaced out but ventually wears off. if you are worried, wait a day or two after he has had his smoke before you make love again. this should ease any fears you may have. good luck

Answer 7

If he isn't smoking A LOT of it than I don't see how that contributed to your miscarriage. Smoking pot lowers the sperm count that is the number 1 thing that it does. My first pregnancy was with my ex husband and he was a MAJOR smoker. He wouldn't stop smoking, but wouldn't smoke it around me. It took us a year and 2 months of trying to get pregnant. He smoked an ounce a week and we had a beautiful strong healthy little boy.

Answer 8

my husband and i are trying for our first and he likes to smoke black n milds which i hate the smell of and i hate the fact that he has to smoke them. i told him that if we were to have a baby he would need to stop. he just sat there and told me well your not pregnant yet so i guess i can keep smoking them. Mybe you should get him some help to stop so you can have a happy & healthy family .. if hes hiding it from you its just going to cuase more problems in the relationship and you dont need that stress in your life. But your doctor wasnt totaly right yea it can harm the baby if hes smoking it around you becuase it can stay in your babys system till its born that is not good. had a friend have it happen and she got her baby taken away from her. and she didnt even smoke! so i would sit him down and have a long talk with him about it. if he loves you them he should stop and understand you.

Answer 9

Get all his weed and smoke wraps, go into the bathroom. Tell him to go there, while he watches, flush all that crap down the toilet.

You need to somehow come up with a deal. Figure something out that will back him into a corner with something like "If you don't stop smoking the weed, I'll start/stop or something to scare him into stopping.

A weed-smoking guy is NOT repeat NOT a good father figure. Espically if he gets caught by someone.

Answer 10

My brother smoked his pot more than 3-4 times a month and my niece is healthy, beautiful and very smart.

I am not saying that it does or it doesn't cause problems, but I find it hard to believe that just because he smoked some weed that that is why your miscarried.