Please only respond if you've actually done this. No need to judge or bash if you haven't experienced this issue....
2007-05-17 08:30:14 · 12 answers · asked by Perplexed 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You ask the Big Question
"Am I better of with them or without them?"
2007-05-17 08:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got caught and had no choice. That was about 20 years ago. I haven't cheated since. I was cheating because I was unhappy and "the other person" distracted me from my misery. I was young then and know better now. I would either sincerely try to work on the relationship I was in or If I knew there was no hope I would leave. But, not for another person. Don't think I am bashing-just being honest.
2007-05-17 15:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by aj's girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you be honest with yourself and your relationships. Your life will change, especially if you are leaving a marriage. It hurts even if you really love the new person. In my experience it took years before I really knew I was over my marriage, and I have my reasons for leaving. But I know that it's best to leave before there's someone else, rather than because of someone else. I am VERY happy with my new partner, but I don't have the long history that says happy or not, I was secure. I don't seek a secure life as much as I seek a meaningful life. I have made the choice and it is hard. I'm not sorry I went for my new love but I am sorry I've hurt my former. Whoever said above that you will pay a price is right. You better be sure.
2007-05-17 15:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by Emperor T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call it an awakening. There are plenty of moments, but one day u just know that this must be done. Its really about getting gut wrenching honest with yourself, taking your own invetory to say, pure self-examination. If you have searched and you have made all efforts to make and request changes, then you are justified in making the leap. Consider as you would your dying friend. Did u make every effort to help, were you there, did u put in 100%, etc. If he passes, your heart and mind is clear. You did your part as a human being. Best wishes for you..
2007-05-17 15:45:07 · answer #4 · answered by LA G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation, and have not regretted it. By the fact that you are considering making leap should tell you that you should.
Evaluate the old relationship against the new one and figure out which one is healthier for you. Of course in the beginning of a new relationship everything is peachy.
So just look at the people involved. Which one could you see yourself with.
Good Luck.. but remember you should be respectful to the one you leave.
2007-05-17 15:38:44 · answer #5 · answered by beeslady115 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had tried to keep things together in my first marriage for 5 years. He was physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive to both me and our son.
He was also the type of person who would f**k anything that stood still long enough.
3 years after our son was born, my then husband brought home the first of two venereal diseases. I quietly got it treated, made sure he got his medicine, and put up with the shame of the military facility ASSUMING it was me that had screwed around. I just kept my mouth shut.
2 years after the first incident, just after our 5th anniversary, I ended up getting treated for a second infection, and when I left the pharmacy with my bag full of meds and another batch of "stupid *****" stares from the clinic staff and pharmacists, I went home, packed all my stuff, packed my son's stuff, and moved out that night before my ex husband came home. I filed for divorce the next day.
I could tolerate the beatings, the isolation, the misery, the belittling, the emotional badgering and battering, and the general "walking on eggshells" lifestyle I'd endured for years, but I could NOT tolerate being thought of as a "Navy Whore." I was never once unfaithful to that man, but it was me who bore the brunt of the humiliation.
2007-05-17 15:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have actually on several occasions. When I leave someone it's based on the theory "You know when you've had enough" kind of thing. Meaning, something negative about someone you can only take so much of; like bad manners, being rude; dispresctful, abusive, lying, etc....
2007-05-17 17:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I finally left after my spous askedme to move out of our home with my three year old and while pregnant with our second child. The funny thing is that my three year old hated living with us together. She cried on one occassion when she thought were going to move backinto the house with her dad. He just paid us no attention and now she is in a place where she gets alot of affection and attention. I just got tired of fighting and noticed the effect it was having on my child.
2007-05-17 15:38:59 · answer #8 · answered by jlaurentaylor2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've had enough. You don't even remember why you were attracted to the person in the first place. You then decide that you are happier on your own and get on with your life!!
2007-05-17 15:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend got himself caught with the other woman, so that made it real easy for him.
She actually kicked him out and finally forgave him, but he threw in the towel, andshe sold him her half of the house.
So a second mortage later, she walked away with over 200k!
The moral is, you can do it, but its gonna cost you
2007-05-17 15:35:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋