You get married to the love of your life, someone who you feel is your soul mate and after less than six months your spouse leaves you. You have no idea where he/she lives, works or have any contact with your spouse's family. He/she has been out of your life completely for several years. The only contact is through cell phone and your spouse clearly has indicated he/she doesn't want the marriage for whatever reason. You feel in your heart your spouse has made a terrible mistake. Could you love someone so much to continue to pled for your marriage after such a long separation? If this marriage could be saved, could it ever work? When do you let go?
2007-05-17 05:38:26 · 31 answers · asked by stacy_branch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's time to let go now. If they can't or won't even tell you where they are living then there is nothing you can do to make this better. Of course you feel like they are making a mistake and they just might be but clearly the spouse in question doesn't feel that way. They want out for some reason and nothing you do short of refusing to sign divorce papers is going to delay this marriage ending. My best advice to you is find someone you can confide in and begin to work through the issues you will undoubtedly have about your marriage ending.
2007-05-17 05:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say, this marriage is completely over. This was not your soul mate. I'm not sure I understand why you could continue to love someone that has left you and made it clear he/she wants nothing to do with you and hasn't seen you for several years. It sounds like the spouse has completely moved on and doesn't share the same feelings (love of your life, soul mate). I doubt this marriage can ever be saved and if it were, I doubt there would be enough trust remaining to sustain it. I think you have to start the process of letting go by accepting that this person was not your soulmate, it seems he/she does not love you and if this were your soul mate, the love would never go away. What is most concerning about this scenario is the amount of time that has past with no contact. Out of your life for several years means to me that there is no hope. Frankly, this sounds like my ex. I left him after many years of abuse and never looked back. I left my job, moved where he couldn't find me and my family refused contact with him (because he continually tried to get me back). For me, I was done with him and wanted him out of my life. He continued to say he was broken hearted, I was still his wife, etc (by email only because I refused calls until I could get where he couldn't find me). If this has happened to you, then you need to move on as best as you can. Maybe it's not your fault, maybe it's your spouses fault, but it's over.
2007-05-17 05:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by Amy27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this marriage can not be saved. You are living on a dream of happily ever after. Life is not a fairy tale. In fact your life has been a nightmare. Wake up and smell the coffee. Get a lawyer get a divorce and move on with your life. Don't waste your time dreaming on what you want your life to be like with this person. You are a much better person than that and deserve only the best life can give you. Pick yourself up dust yourself off and don't let the ex love of your life rule you any longer. Your best solution is to move on and be happier than they ever thought possible. Show them you can move on and do better without them. It is hard but I know you can do it. Take one day at a time.
2007-05-17 05:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it takes two to tango.You are wasting your life, you are torturing yourself, you need a reality check! He's gone, he never comes back, period! I know it sounds cruel, but that's the truth!
The sooner you accept it the better. You need to move on! Bury the past! Start living!
I bet that sooner or later you will find a real soul mate. Your husband has never been one! Leaving you without a reason and letting you live in limbo is an act of cruelty and cowardice. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. Wake up and head for divorce court. Now!
2007-05-17 05:55:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stacy B, I hate to say this but you need to move on. I married my soulmate, but after 10 years of marriage, she decided she wanted a divorce because she has another soulmate in her life right now. I still love her, but I realized that it takes two people to make a marriage work. If she does not want to, then I have decided to move on.
2007-05-17 06:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by Scott O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your spouse doesn't want to continue being married to you - it's better to let them go. What's the point of you trying so hard if they won't. It'll only wear you out emotionally which will lead to depression. Your better off moving on - Good Luck and stay strong.
2007-05-17 05:42:27 · answer #6 · answered by jessie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were just to infatuated to see all the signs. It's over and you just deny it. Move on.
You were very wrong about "love of your life" and "soul mate". Either you have serious judgment errors or you have no idea what these terms truly mean. These terms didn't help you a bit.Be smarter next time. Don't be so gullible next time.
2007-05-17 05:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the love of my life left after six months, I would have to acknowledge that this person wasn't who I thought he was. He's making it clear that he's over it and trust me, the more you chase, the faster he will run.
Try to move on. Obviously this person was a good actor or just extremely selfish. You can do better than him.
2007-05-17 05:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion this will never work because your trust has been violated on such a deep level. Don't waste your time. Allow yourself to grieve for the relationship and move on.
2007-05-17 05:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No soul mate there! If you do not know that much info on him/her, it was one-sided from the get go.
Soulmates share everything, this person kept everything from you.
Move on, it's hard, but after several years, it's time to cut your losses. That person will never be a 'soulmate' to anyone. You deserve better.
2007-05-17 05:42:43 · answer #10 · answered by TNGal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋