Should I get a divorce. (Help Ladies)?

Question

Question??

My friend has been Married a few years and married a women with 3 kids, seems his wife really only married him so the kids would have a father. He a nice looking guy, hard working never cheated. But he feels like his wife is taking advantage of him. hw works a great job and pays most of the bills, but he gets mad when he has to come home and cook and clean. His wife works as well but get home before he does and it seems he is always picking up after her and the kids. Also she is not very (active0 in the bed room. they have sex maybe every 5 weeks. In addition she keeps generating bills and wasting money. So basically he is miserable as hell. He figures it's best to leave now, but he has gotten attached to the kids (1 girl and 2 boys). The kids real fathers are not involed and he doesn't wanna beacome another divorce statistic. What should he do.

Answer 1

Your friend needs to make a list of the issues he has with his wife (1. sharing household chores; 2. budget; 3. intimacy), next he needs to hire a babysitter to take the kids out for a few hours so he and his wife can sit down in private and discuss these issues. He has to let her know of his concerns and what he feels are good solutions to them. See what she says. She may straighten up or she may ship out. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

I have to whole heartily agree with kja63.

There are way too many people that see divorce as an "easy out" but it took two people to get married and if they have been married for "a few years" then it has not all been bad.

Talk to each other and express your feelings and frustrations. I have said before and I am still trying to deal with it every day that men can not read women's minds and women can not read men's minds.

There was a spark and love between you two at some point and you did make a commitment not only to her but to the children that have become bonded with you.

Love yourself, her and the kids enough to give it your all to work this out and find a loving, caring, reasonable and workable solution.

Try and bring out the wedding photo's and look closely at each other. Look at the love shining in your eyes for her and her's for you. It is a simple yet impressive thing to witness even through pictures.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Has he talked to her? Has there been counseling about the behavior? I think that there needs to be some communication between him and her. He needs to make a budget, and she needs to stick to it,period. No one should be picking up after anyone. The children all need to do their share, picking up afterthemselves, and he needs to remind her that he is not the maid either. He can start by piling all her mess in a pile somewhere in the house, when she figures it out then maybe she wil start to pick her own crap up. He certainly should be picking up after himself as well if she works too. A "chore board"should be made to divide the chores so no one person feels dumped on. Couples therapy certainly seems to be a good option at this point, especially where the sex is related. If all this fails--then he certainly did all he could do, and it seems that it is a one sided relationship, and I would tell him "this is one of the situations that divorce would be made for". Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

Boy it is really nice to know that your friend has you to like cares for him a lot. that is cool man I give you lots of props
boo what you should do is tell your amigo to either go in counseling to see if they can kick some sense into his wife.If the counseling do not work out Then tell your friend for the sake of his well being to pack his bag and leave even though we all know that he will be destroyed because he do not want to be away from the kids. Your amigo needs to think for one minute if he is happy and if he can deal with all that is going on with his mind at this moment. You know tell your friend that kids sense a lot of negativity. He must be brave and understand that he do not deserve a women who is not going to compromise 50/50 and treat him good .He can not do this all by himself he needs his darling wife to compromise and pleasure her husband. What the hell is going on with relationship these days. He need to think more of himself then anyone else but the best thing that he could do is seek professional help that could help them out And let say that he do leaves his wife it will be hard for him but he will be ok! And there will be others lady that will treat him like he deserve to be love. And with the kids tell him that even though he is not the father of the kids you could always write to them and talk to them or at least see them if your wife lets you. but don't beat yourself if everything do not goes the right way. But what ever happens just tell him that you as his friends will always be their for support and tell him that lives is not over that is beginning and that when everything seems bad and dark in life eventually light will rise up and you will start to
smile again.

Answer 5

First he needs to PRAY! Then he needs to sit his wife down an ask her what she really wants from him in this relationship. He needs to tell her how he really feels and tell her what he really wants out of the relationship. He needs to tell her how much he loves her then tell her what he will put up with, an what he will not put up with. He needs to tell her how he feels about the children, and then let her know that the relationship is a two way thing, and he should not be responsible for everything in the house. He needs to let her know everything, how he feels, what he likes an don't like, and what he needs. He also needs to let her know that if things don't change he may leave. But first thing he needs to do is take it to GOD before he says anything to her, so that when he talk to her it won't come out to bad. Then if that doesn't work, he should do what he feels he needs to do, leave, stay, or whatever. And that will mean that she was not the right one for him, because GOD has someone for him it just may not be her.

Answer 6

He needs to have a serious talk with her and let her know how he feels and what he wants. From there, give her a time frame of about 5-6 months to get her act together. If nothing changes, then maybe a divorce is what is needed.

Communication is key in any relationship. Closed mouths dont get fed and they should try to work out the problem before things get worse.

Tell him I said good luck! :)

Answer 7

Your question says "I" but then you change this to your "friend." I'm going to assume you are actually writing about yourself.

Why did you marry this woman in the first place? Did you truly love her? And now that you are married, those kids are surely attached to you.

Therefore, before you consider divorce, I strongly urge you & your wife to get counseling. It's way too easy to get divorced these days. You both promised "for better or worse" and so now it's time to live up to those promises, especially since there are children involved. Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

well the kids should help out and so should his wife he needs to talk to them all before he should end it .... it is just a small problem that could be worked out if they tried ..... they should assign chores and such and pick a day of the week to spend as a family ( play bored games rent movies etc.) tell him to try that and see where that goes and remind him that change does not happen over night it might take some time!
good luck

Answer 9

obviously a communication gap......duh.
Joint therapy would go a long way to recover this situation. If they are to remain together, some intervention has to take place. He is attached to the kids, but bottom line, they are not his. While all this is going on, he is responsible for half of what she puts on credit card, and what she is likely not telling him....
sometimes filing for separation can be a wake up call to the spouse who will have to come to the table. But, at least in CA., this creates a viel between his hers and ours. could be important.
time for wake up call for both of them.

Answer 10

look man if a women can't do some of her duties, she's not worth having is my opinion. I as a women i do everything, even the yard work only because my husband doesnt i wish i had a man that was faithful and honest and helpful, as for the kids there's nothing you can do but let them know you love them and apologized, and if she let's you visit them from time to time...