he has promised not to do it ever again but then he had promised before..He sometimes calls me names and accuses me of all sorts of untrue things.He likes to say i think i know it all. when its good its really good but when its bad i just want to run away or die, We have been trying to have a baby but im not getting pregnant,, and he says he is ok cause he has a 15yr old daughter, ive been pregnant before but lost the baby after an aircraft 16 yrs ago. doctors say im fine, he does not want to do a semen test.. When we were engaed he cheated on me and was seeing his ex-girlfriend, he says she got pregnant but never had the baby, he came back for forgiveness and i forgave him. I wonder if i did the right thing at all. He doesnt kiss me says he has gum problems, i feel unloved that he doesnt kiss me, he wants oral but does not like giving it, he never says sorry , please or thank u when its all he should say at that point in time. Please help & advice aynone out there please
2007-05-17 05:03:05 · 31 answers · asked by Antoinette M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So he abuses you, cheats on you, uses you, lies to you, doesn't show affection, and calls you names. And you love him and want to stay with him because.....why? It sounds like you have some self-image problems and a low self-worth. You CAN do better than him. You deserve to be loved and cherished, not abused and lied to. He will NOT change. Ever. You need to get out of the relationship NOW. A baby will NOT make this better, and you'll only be putting a child in harm's way by staying with this man. Seek help - run.
2007-05-17 05:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how much you love this guy. He's not a good person and you should have left him IMMEDIATLEY after the FIRST time he ever was violent with you or called you a name. There is absolutely NO reason for you to put up with being treated the way that he treats you. Letting him get away with his behaviour does not make you a better person; it makes you a sadder person and confirms the fact that he's a horrible asshole. You say you "feel unloved"; well that's because your husband doesn't love you. If he did, he wouldn't treat you like this. And you're trying to have a baby, which will provide your husband with yet another person to abuse? Leave now!
2007-05-17 05:10:35 · answer #2 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
darlin, you are in such a bad situation. you really need help.
domestic violence is a crime... your husband is violating your person, and by sticking around, you are allowing his behavior to continue.
he is not going to stop the physical violence, so don't believe him when he says he is...
he's also a cheat. i don't understand why you married him in the first place. he cheated on you BEFORE you were married... he's disrespectful and a liar.
DO NOT have a child with this man... if he abuses YOU what is going to happen to a child you might bring into his world? i was an abused child, and i know it was never fun.... i was thrown into walls, hit, slapped and once, my arm was broken.
you need to gather your dignity. learn about self-esteem, because you do not have any. you don't have to be needy, abused and taken advantage of.
i don't know how you think all of these horrible things you're living with are any where near "OK" or normal.
your husband is an angry, bitter man, and is taking it out on you. even what you say about your sex life is quite abnormal and awful for you.
PLEASE start taking care of YOU... get away from this man before he verbally or physically abuses you again. next time, you could be dead.
i have posted a link to the national domestic violence hotline, and another one about domestic violence toward women.
please get help now... i'm very concerned for you.
hugs.
if you don't feel safe looking at these websites on your home computer, go to the library or use a friend's computer. you can log in to your Yahoo account from any computer.
2007-05-17 05:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if I were in your shoes I would take a step back and really take a look at where you are heading. Don't stay with someone who is going to abuse you either verbally or physically. Sounds like a basic lack of self control by you husband. From what you describe you husband sound like hes out of control because he cannot completely control you. From your wants and needs to even your reactions to what he is doing. You need to get out if you are really worried about getting hurt. Do not be any ones punching bag. You are an individual who decides what is right and wrong for you and no one else. So if these situations you find yourself in are OK then stay. If not you may want to look for a way out. Abuse is not ok.
2007-05-17 05:28:13 · answer #4 · answered by Carlos s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, if this man is abusive to you in any way then leave him. It will just get worse and also if he cheated on you he could do again. Sounds like this guy has a lot of problems. It is affecting you hon, giving you low self esteem. Rebuild your confidence, you can do so much better. I have, and i was in the same kind of relationship except i did get pregnant when i didnt want to. He isnt pleasing you as you are him and that means he just dont care as much as you do about things. leave him, you be so better off without him
2007-05-17 05:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Goldeluxe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say to divorce him. Any man that can hit a woman is not worth having. He will not stop no matter what he promises. Please do not bring any children into an already abusive relationship. That's not fair to you or the child. I would also suggest counseling. I hope everything works out for you. Be strong and know that you deserve only the best in life!
2007-05-17 05:11:21 · answer #6 · answered by wildfire 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK Are you totally clueless?? what in the name of heavens would you want to have this man child? is not bad enough that he is abusive towards you and now you want to bring a child in to this? for what? so you can give the child a horrible childhood.. Please woman sit and read what you wrote.. Don't do it can you understand that you are in an abusive relationship? what is wrong with you?? you need to leave him at once and worry about having a baby later when you are in a stable loving relationship with a man who has no gums troubles and can kiss you from head to toe.... but please please what ever you do for the sake of the unborn and not yet conceived child in question do not have a baby with this assshole... get some counseling get some help.. get the hell out of that relationship... good luck.
2007-05-17 08:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him! The saying "there is a thin line between love and hate" is true. We can love everyone, but can we stand to be around them all the time? I have been in abusive relationships. I was in one for about 8 years. He always promised to change and told me he loved me. Ask your self, Can people really change who they sincerely are? You can not change anyone but yourself. Your situation can be changed. You are lucky to not have children involved, it makes it so much easier. The way you describe how he treats you sounds like he is using you for his own needs to be filled. Someone who loves you will do things to please you. They will want to make you smile and laugh. There are plenty of people in the world and I know there is someone somewhere who will treat you good. You are better off being single than dealing with a loser who will only bring you years of regrets, misery and tears. You need a shoulder, lean on me, dump the jerk he doesn't deserve your time or love!
2007-05-17 06:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotional and physical abuse is the destroyer of relationships! What your husband is doing is wrong and you do not deserve to be treated like this.Do not allow him to do this to you. If you allow him to continue you are paticipating in helping him to destroy your relationship.He is controlling you and you have to stop him right now! Don't allow him to break you down till you have no self esteem or take on feelings of worthlessness and blame yourself for what he is doing! Your husband has some very severe issues that need to be addressed. Call a counselor for yourself and get help for what is happening to you. Why are you alowwing him to treat you this way? Go find out what you need to do for yourself to end this abuse!! You cannot live this way and whatever it is inside of you that is rationalizing and making excuses for him you have to get the strength to get yourself out. Look at your life ....he is not good to you and your intimacey with this man is not the way it should be! You are worth more than what you are settling for in life. Please call someone today and get out of that environment till you get help. Best wishes sweetie.
2007-05-17 05:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a fellow man i can say this because i know how true it is. if you cant show your partner that you appreciate them, then that just means your either unhappy with yourself or the situation that your involved in. no one deserves to be treated unfairly and no matter how many times he says its your fault, its not. I not going to tell you to get out of the situation but, eventually you have to ask yourself Am I Happy? and if the answer is no then you know what to do. cause if your not happy you'll never make him happy. and both of you are better off without each other.
2007-05-17 05:13:14 · answer #10 · answered by DAZEDANDCONFUSED 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋