Is living with my grandma a good decision?

Question

I'm 14, 8 months ago I went through a bad phase. Bad crowd, I got disrespectful, fough ta alot w/ my lil bro. I regretted and apologized sincerely, but I got a harsh punsihment and for some months especially my mom like tortured me emotionally, showing she didn't trust me though I had apologized and showed that had been just a bad phase, They didn't act like parents, showed they didn't love me. I got very sad and depressed, even has suicide thoughts. Fortunately some people , especially my grandma helped me, showed trust and understood me. My grandma invited me to live/ her. My parents didn't agree, want to rebuild our relationship, but we insisted so much and my grandma has business w/ my dad, so they ended up agreeing, though very grudgingly. I'm excited, In July I'll star a new life w/ someone who loves me, living w/ my partents became a pain, sad and hurtful memories. I intend to stay w/ her until I have a job. Is this a good decision?

Answer 1

I hope it works out, but remember, when you betray someone's trust, they may NEVER trust you again---no matter how many times you apologize. My daughter got caught shoplifting at age 14. She's now 22 and I still have to think twice about trusting her even though she has been a decent kid ever since she was scared straight by the court system. She's graduating from college, deans list, and is getting married this fall and I still don't have the same trust that I had for her BEFORE she went through her own "bad phase." I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. I hope you don't destroy your grandmother's trust in the same way. You should really work on trying to regain some of your parent's trust...moving out won't help that much. You created the situation with your parents, only you can fix it and it's going to take work and time. Stop blaming them.

Answer 2

You sound like a very sweet and mature young person who is truly trying to turn your life down the right path. I think that moving in with your loving grandmother is a great decision FOR NOW, because it will give you and your parents a little "break" from each other. But I don't think you should see it as a permanent arrangement. Once your parents see that you are doing well in your grandmother's home, being responsible and acting in a trustworthy manner, it will prove to them that you were sincere in your apology and that the difficult time was indeed just a bad phase. They will want you to come back home at that point. Being away from them for awhile will make you appreciate the fact that they DO love you, and that they were being difficult because of their concern for you. As a mom of a teenager, I can tell you that it's really hard for us parents to know if we are doing the right thing all the time. Sometimes we make mistakes too, and say things we shouldn't say. Hopefully in the not-too-distant future, you and your parents will forgive each other and indeed rebuild your relationship. Good luck to you all!

Answer 3

Yes and no!
You were the one who did wrong and you should have stayed with your parents and worked everything out to regain their trust again. Because of the way you were behaving - they had every right in the world to respond, to you, the way they did.
It's great your grand mother is offering to help you, however, you should work out your issues with your parents first!!!!!!!!!
Your parents do love you - it's just because of your bad behavior - you do NOT see the love. What you did to them was like a 'slap in the face' and total disrespect towards all of their efforts of raising you properly.
Without working out your problems first, between you and your parents, living with someone else should NOT be an option at this time.
You have a long road ahead of you and your parents should be number one. Don't run away from your issues!!! Face them head-on, do what needs to be done and then you'll feel better about yourself. Your grand mother will always be there for you and so will your parents but grandma is not the problem solver here - the problem solver is you and your parents!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

You are really to young to behave like this. I mean going away from your parents may not be a good decision, although you could realize you miss your parents and then return home. Grandmas are always the ones who try to make you happy and satisfied, whatever you do. But your parents (here we don't know their side of the story) are the ones who should guide you through life and show you that running away is not the best solution for your situation. We all had bad phases but it ends sometimes. talk to your parents, ask them, don't demand from them to let you go. Simply be and act as a child , you are. Growing up to early is not good. Believe me.

Answer 5

Yes, live with your Grandma.

As for the suicide thoughts, always remember: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". If you EVER have this thought again, please seek councelling, whether at a church, doctor, school counsellor, etc...please.

I realize the teen years are sometimes the most difficult, and some parents don't always deal with teen changes to our liking. Regardless, you will want to show your parents you can behave like a respectable human being. Treat them nice no matter how hard it is. By doing this, they will realize that you do have a good side and have changed your course in your life. Also, set goals and dreams for your future. Think about what you want to do for a living when you're in your 20's and 30's.

I wish you much happiness and success :-)

Answer 6

It sounds like a good decision but I hope your grandma lives close to your parents so you can continue to rebuild your relationship with them...it's very important. Hopefully you moving out will help ease the tension between you and your parents and you guys can work things out...and hopefully you can move back with them. I suggest getting some family counselling. Trust is a hard thing to win back and needs more than words to prove it. Continue on the right path, SHOW your parents you have learned from your mistakes, SHOW them that you love them (even though things are tough right now). STAY IN SCHOOL. DO GOOD IN SCHOOL. Strive to go to college and live a successful life.

Good luck. I hope you and your parents can work things out, and your grandma ROCKS for taking you in.

Answer 7

Didn't you ask this question like three weeks ago? You really have problems if you think a bunch of strangers on Yahoo should tell you how to live your life. I'm glad you got what you wanted, sweetie. Now you don't have to live with the consequences of your actions and can cause greater hurt to you family. Truth be told, they are probably all better off without you around, especially the little brother you tortured. I just hope you don't plan on running back home after you piss off Grandma. Where will you go then?

Answer 8

It may be a good idea. It may be that a little separation could help cement your relationship with your parents. Sometimes, a little separation helps. But remember, when a person becomes a grandparent, they've already raised their kids, and it's really their kids job to raise their own kids. You can't look at this as a permanent solution.
I have no doubts that your parents love you just as much as your grandmother does. It could be that they just don't know what to do to help you, or how to do it. They may be a little overwhelmed with your "teen years". Kids DON'T come with instructions, after all.....all we can do is the best we know how to do at the time. The age of 14 is about the time when life with parents becomes tiresome. It was for me, and it was for my son. It happens with pretty much any kid. It's just that most of us don't have an alternative option for living arrangements, and we just have suck it up and deal with it.

Answer 9

If staying with your grandma is what your family and you thinks is a good idea at this time then go for it. But please, even if you are not living with them, try to rebuild your relationship on some level whether it be weekly dinners or phone calls, or even just calling to let them know about accomplishments like good grades, etc. It will be easier to rebuild this relationship now then it will be 20 years down the road. Good luck with your new life and stay on that straight and narrow path!

Answer 10

It's a good idea. It will help you be more independent, and your grandma will probably like the company. Some people (maybe most people) don't get along very well with their parents when they are teenagers. If you feel happier there and you want to live there, there is no reason not too.