what do you do when your husband keeps talking to an ex and tells you their just friends, and she's telling you stuff like "if you and him weren't together then we'd be together" and just all this talk about how they're ment to be together! oh and did i mention everyone in his family say's the samething about them being together! what should i do?????????
2007-05-17 04:09:18 · 75 answers · asked by Cassandra 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You got married to young. Get an anullment and move on. Don't get married again until you and your partner are beyond high school level relationships.
2007-05-17 04:11:50 · answer #1 · answered by blakereik 4 · 8⤊ 5⤋
Strangely enough, "move" isn't the worst answer in the world. Not necessarily far away, but out of the situation you're in. If you don't see the ex and the family all the time, it's easier to break that chain. You have every right to tell your husband he needs to cut off all communication with the ex. When he married you, it was a commitment to choose you over her, and he has to back that up with his actions. His family should butt the hell out, and I'd vote for keeping your distance from them for a while, too.
Yes, 18 is young to be married, but you are married, and you have the right to expect that as a couple, your husband's first loyalty should be to you. Remind him -- kindly and calmly -- that you're his wife and he's YOUR husband, so it's hands off and butt out to everyone else.
Good luck.
2007-05-17 04:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by jacketprof 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He got emotional one day and pop the question! I think what he meant to say was something else. Either he says good bye to this other person or you need to rethink your life goals. I don't think 18 is to young. There are some out there that really do know what it is all about. However most don't . Don't let one mistake change your whole life. Don't get pregnant and don't get into debt with this guy. Go to counseling and find you where you both are going first. If he sticks up for her and defends his friendship with her. Then maybe he should go. I know that would be tough on you but it is just the start of your whole life. Make right, good, and honest decisions now.
2007-05-17 04:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by freesample1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to see that you are being insulted rather then helped. My advice is have a heart to heart talk with your hubby. 1st the ex should be an ex not in his life. If he married you, then you should come 1st. His family should not be involved in justifying his inappropriate behavior. Also his ex telling you that she is looking for more then friends. (even if he is not) I would face the issue head on. If he feels he made a mistake then no point in being in a marriage with someone who wants to be with someone else. I would tell him how you feel and who is saying what if he brushes you off and goes back to there just friends then I would find out what is more important her as a friend or his marriage and wife. Good Luck ..
2007-05-17 04:20:22 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The problem you have isn't the one you think. Your problem is being married at 18 and all the pitfalls it entails. You married a man before he was settled and now are unhappy because he is being him. Sounds like you made a mistake and now want to blame him. Either accept or move on, divorce this loser and wait about 10 years before making the mistake of getting married again.
2007-05-17 04:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think if your that worried about him being faithful then you dont trust him enough to be mature which is an insecurity of your own. Who cares what SHE said (the ex) you should trust and stand by your man he married you because he obviously loves you! and if he is willing to cheat on you with another girl hey she can expect the same in return im sure later down the road or him even..playas dont play nice.
2007-05-17 07:35:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You tell your husband that you do not like his relationship with her and to end the friendship immediately. If he loves and respects you (as he promised to do) he will stop communicating with her. He is confiding in another woman, sharing things and emotions with her that he should be sharing with you ONLY. No married man (or woman) should have a friend of the opposite sex because it only leads to trouble. If he refuses to end the relationship you have to decide what's important to YOU. Can you live everyday knowing he has this relationship with another woman? Let me say, if nothing is going on with them now, if it continues, eventually this "friendship" will turn into an affair because he is developing an emotional relationship. I suggest you take a look at the web site below. Your husband needs to be apart of this marriage too!
2007-05-17 04:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by KDW 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Does your husband knows what she is telling you? If so, he needs to straightened up by realizing he is hurting you (not to mention jealous) and what does he think marriage is? And ask him how he would feel if you were talking to another man?
Ok, now if it was me....I would cut this little s--- real quick. I would continue my happy little self and find some "man" to talk to. Of course I would get my cousin or someone like that to go along with me. See what he does. I do things that way because I dont want to be like yourself dear---upset--- or maybe insecure, jealous, fighting with him............ get it out of your marriage quick. He will know how it feels and he'll get a smile and come back from lala land. Dont let stupidity get you down, show him in the mirror how stupid he is by doing it back. And guess what? NO talking about it, life goes on.
2007-05-17 04:32:44 · answer #8 · answered by jajajojikatt 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do you want to be married to him? Do you love and trust him? Is there compassion, honesty and communication in your marriage? If not, do you want to fix it? IF so, then get help, now. You are both young, but, you got married, divorce is not the next natural step, nor is gloating or jealousy. IF you love your husband and he loves you, address the problem, face it together, good or bad. If you, after getting help, decide together to get a divorce, then consider this a learning expierence, and if you dont, then you will quite assuredly, grow stronger as a couple. Dont let his family influence your choice, and be quite firm with them to stop intruding. GOOD luck to you.
2007-05-17 04:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well first of all, i would talk to him, and ask him how he truly feels about her, do he have any feelings for her, did he ever love her and if so why did they break up, and why does she think that she could get him if he weren't married? also, i would mention the fact that his family thinks him and her should be together, and tell him i can't live with the feeling that his family wants him to be with someone else and the female they want him to be wit is still his friend. Also, i would tell him i love him very much, i don't want anybody but him, i will always love him no matter what and i will always be there for him, but i don't get married to get hurt or cheated on. i need to know if you really love me and want to be wit me and if so you need to tell your family that you love me and that you want me and that they need to accept the fact that what was between you and that girl is over!
2007-05-17 04:24:02 · answer #10 · answered by mrs. wright 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
What you do is point blank make your husband make a choice either he stop having any contact with her on any level or he will no longer be having contact with you.. You're to young to start stressing yourself over this kind of total bull crap stand up for yourself now and if the situation doesn't change immediately get out now and never look back i know you love this boy but he has to love you in return..
2007-05-17 04:21:30 · answer #11 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋