how does a man take a womans kids away when she is not a unfit mother and he is more unfit than she is?

Question

Im a mother of 2 kids one is not biological not the mans but he has keep my kids away from me for now going 2 months and the cops wont do anything but we are going to court he has a lawyer and i dont have the money for one and legal aid wont cuz i droped them cuz they were one his side. Thing is i dont drink or do drugs and i have a steady job now he hauls junk for a living and drinks a little and i think he smokes pot too even though he says he doesn't. I never wanted to take the kids away from him untill he's done it to me but i still don't just want to take the kids away from him.I just dont know what to do.

Answer 1

I don't understand how it is not considered kidnapping if one of the children is not his.. I don't know your history have you ever been convicted of a crime. Do you not have any family support.. and if the court has not become involved how do you not have the right to go pick them up from school.. unless he has a restraining order against you. When you go to the court request that a drug test be done... maybe you both will be subjected to taking it...

Answer 2

The system is screwed! Everybody knows that whether they like to admit it or not. For some reason, the courts feel that they have a valid reason to believe your kids are better off with him instead of you. Why is that? Once you figure out what that reason is you can work on changing it and/or convince them of otherwise. I know you're mad, but DON'T focus any negativity on him though. Eventhough, that is a natural reaction to accusal, it will only backfire adding more insult to injury. To the courts, it comes off as trying to shift the blame on him in order to make yourself appear innocent, which in turn interprets as an automatic admission of guilt. Legal battles are expensive, so prepare to go for broke on this one. You absolutely need a good lawyer and it will cost. Just try to play it cool and safe. Focus on bettering your current situation (b/c obviously they don't think its good enough). Show and tell by those actions. God speed and I hope things work out.

Answer 3

I am in a similar situation. I am a otr driver and I thought my kids would be better off with their dad but I found out different and he never has my kids.my mom does almost every night and I wrote to children service because he wants to take me to court, but the service is not helping me either. I don't get to see my boys because their dad says I ask to many questions. It don't matter if your unfit or not the court will do what it wants to. He has me in a positions where I can't quit my job to be home with them. I hope you all the best. I try to get a court date and go and talk to someone that you can trust about this.

Answer 4

OUCH!
It stinks that legal aid wasn't for you...
I think you need to get some kind of support in order to get through this effectively.
Trying to make up your mind and be logical in such an emotional time is too hard on your own.
A therapist can help you, and maybe a social worker. I usually don't like social work, because it's not as educated, but let me tell you what-
They are often trained in how to work the systems that exist, and if not their specialty, they are liekly to travel in circles of people who can help.
They are resourceful, and can answer your "next move" questions better than many people here!
Good luck to ALL of you!

Answer 5

He hired a better lawyer.

The police do not get involved in custody disputes, unless ordered by a judge.

Going to court without an attorney is like going skydiving without a parachute. Sad but true. Judges will listen to an attorney and not pay any attention to anything you have to say.

Answer 6

Sounds like there's a lot more to this story than you are telling. If enough people are saying that you aren't fit to be the kid's full-time parent, then there must be some validity to their opinions. Look in the mirror and see what the issues are, then come back with a fresh attitude, then I'm sure you'll have more success.

Answer 7

Don't worry Ashley i know it's hard right now but trust me his keeping your children from you will backfire on him and come back to bite him in the butt in the end the sad part is the kids suffer because of it. You might check with some of your locale attorney's since you're employed some will let you make payments..

Answer 8

He has a criminal expert, a competent one too. You suggested you have a activity now. So perchance you probably did no longer have one in the past and subsequently you lost your toddlers. And plus you basically choose the toddlers out of spite. Judges are surprisingly smart and that i doubt they made a incorrect selection in line with fake accusations.

Answer 9

I told my kids father , if he takes my kids from me......then that just gives me 24 hours and 7 days a week to sit and think just how I want him to die,...........come up with the perfect plan and follow through!!!!

Answer 10

my ex husband kept our child from me for about 9 months. he wouldn't let our child call me or visit. instead of having a fit over it, i just continued living my life. even though i'd rather have seen my son, i wasn't going to upset myself about it, because i knew i would see him eventually.

if you are going to court, and don't have legal counsel, you can stand up and speak for yourself. if you have a couple of friends or coworkers who would speak on your behalf, that might be a good thing, too.

i dont' know why people have to put kids in the middle and cause drama and problems -- all they are doing is harming the children, as you know.

when you go to court, act like a lady. be calm as you can and assert common sense. maybe make notes so you can refer to them and remember what you want to say to the judge. ask him for the things you want (joint custody or certain visitation times and schedule), and refer to the children as "OUR children" instead of "my" children...

you don't have to accuse your ex of anything... his actions will speak for themselves, too.

take care of you. hugs.