One of my friends.. who I will call Bob.. but that isnt his real name... well I think he likes me a lot.. because that's what his best friend told me.. well anyway.. I like him too.. but only when I talk to him on the phone or online.. But when I see him in person.. I'm not just into him.. because I'm not physically attracted to him at all..but it's so weird like when I talk to him without seeing him I like him a lot..
What's wrong with me? I won't go for it because I don't like him when I see him?? Is that really shallow??
2007-05-17 03:47:04 · 19 answers · asked by Mimi 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm glad some of you agree with me that you have to have a physical attraction to a guy .. its hard to be with someone that is hard to look at.. and its not because im embarrassed to be with him in public.. because we go in public together a lot.. and i like hanging out with him.. its just when i talk to him i imagine a different person because his personality makes him really good looking.. but i guess i get dissapointed when i see him..
idk maybe we should stay friends and then see what happens..
im hanging with him today so we'll see..
thanks a lot
2007-05-17 04:57:40 · update #1
no thats not shallow at all.....honestly being physically attracted to someone is part of a relationship. personality matters more but looks still matter to an extent and when your with this guy if you couldnt see yourself being confident while walking and holding his hand and kissing him then you shouldnt date him. Just keep it as friends sometimes it better that way. your not shallow tho most people think like that they just wont admit it. good luck
2007-05-17 03:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by Josh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I understand what you are saying. I'm very much affected by accents and particular accents at that. If I were not married, I could be strongly attracted to someone over the phone, but not think he's the most attractive man. But when you get to know someone (and not just having phone sex) then physical traits start to fade. It's really true that love is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps you should spend less time on the phone and online and try to go on an acutal date. Set up an interesting date where you can get a lot of interaction (not like dinner and movie, there's not a lot of talking going on there as you'd think). Some suggestions:
picknic
renting a boat and boating
museum
talking a walk (especially if you live where taking a walk downtown lets you listen to street musicians and eat at vending etablishments)
going to the zoo or some other amuzement theme park
balloon rides
horseback rides
petting zoos
mini-golf courses
hey sometimes even shooting some hoops or playing tennis really can connect people.
2007-05-17 11:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by huskergo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At times the person that we are looking for is never the one that looks good or even talks well, but when you are speaking to him/her there is a diffrent feeling that takes you over. What I would suggest that you and his best friend and even a friend of yours do is that you all plan a night of your choice and you all go out to hang, while that is going on talk to him get to know him in person to see his behaviour in public. After such, you can make a decision on the guy. You might say whats the point of this but try and enjoy his company and see what will happen. Give me back word on you nights exprerience.
2007-05-17 11:08:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bit shallow since you seem to really enjoy talking to him and like his personality. However, you can't really make yourself be physically attracted to someone. You know, if you met with him for drinks sometime and spent a little time with him, his personality may make him more attractive to you. This has happened to me with girls in the past. You have to do what is best for you. It just may be worth a try though.
2007-05-17 11:05:36 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think he is ugly? Are you attracted to his personality? Do you like him as a friend or more?
If you are attracted to his personality, but don't like his looks, yes you are shallow. If you just want to be friends that's fine too.
Remember, looks aren't everything. Love is what is important. Looks will only last for so long, love will stand the test of time.
2007-05-17 10:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really shallow ya...
You could be going out with the prettiest boy in town but if there ain't any communication, I don't think you'll last the date. Its most important when the guy you're out with can make you laugh and allow you to be yourself. How often can you do that with a physically attractive guy?
Out of courtesy, invite this guy out. If it helps, ask a friend(perhaps his best friend) to come along. Be casual about the date and most importantly, be yourself. If you're able to do so, then this physically unattractive guy, is definately worth your attention and time and perhaps another date;>
2007-05-17 11:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by Destiny Wan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not. That is called 'he is a really good friend' Be respectful of his feelings, don't shoot him down. It is ok to hang out with someone and to honestly let him know that you are not physically attracted to him, and it's a compliment to him if you let him know how much you like his mind and spirit, it will boost him up for future relationships to know he is worthy in this Very Important Way!. And, also, in case it ever works out for you 2, he will know 'you not a ho'.! oh and in the past I have had a BF whom I originally thought was almost repulsive, but given the chance when I got past all that, he was very sensuous, but you don't need to find that out till the time comes,if it ever does.. Right now you need all the friends you can get, we all do. there is plenty of time for bf's as they come along. no need to rush it. And you don't need to sleep with every guy you like alot.
2007-05-17 11:05:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha girl that's funny. No you're not being shallow. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship wioth someone that you r attracted to. Being attracted to your partner is a big factor in a relationship. It is possible to like certain things about a person, yall just have good conversation probably. If you like him thats fine. But deep in your heart there is no unction in your heart that says i want to be with him. When you really really like someone everything you like about them all lines up to what you feel for them.
2007-05-17 10:58:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it does sound shallow.
But to be pragmatic some people are "wired" to find physical appearances more important in their potential mates than others.
For me sexy is an attitude not an appearance and I've seen "average" women with great attitudes who I'd get with in a heartbeat over a "hot" girl who is a cocky b****.
Part of growing up is understanding what you can and can't change in yourself and dealing with both.
2007-05-17 10:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not being shallow.
You can't help the way that you feel about a guy.
It's not all about the looks.
I feel you should like a guy for who he is,
Not what he looks like.
But a guy that is super cute or sexy,
is also good you probably dont want a but-ugly guy.
But the only place it counts is what is inside of him
Make your choice
Do you really like him for who he is
or just his appearence?
I don't think your shallow at all
so dont worry about it
2007-05-17 10:52:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋