I was married for eight years and now I've been divorced for 2 years. I've had plenty of time by myself between relationships. I'm not one to jump from one to the next, but the quality of life seems to be soo much better in a relationship.
Even in my horrid marriage there was a comfort in coming home to someone that knows me better than anyone else.
I've tried hobbies, and going out with friends more often.
How do you learn to be happy by yourself?
I don't want to rely on someone else to make me happy.
2007-05-17 03:07:46 · 18 answers · asked by english_sweetie2001 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think that we 'NEED' a man to make us happy. We can be happy when we are on our own. However, then you are filled with that feeling of knowing you're alone....and that's never pleasant.
The thing that I love the most about the relationship with my husband is everything that we share. When we go somewhere that one of us has never been, and just all our new experiences together. LIFE just feels a lot more special/meaningful when you share it with someone else.
2007-05-17 03:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by jezyka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must learn to deal with your loneliness, which is something most single women should learn. It's one thing to be alone and know that you can freely enjoy what life has to offer, quite another to feel hopeless without a man in your life. Conquer your feeling of loneliness and you won't need to rely on anyone else for your happiness. Go outside of yourself and meet people, do things, and actually enjoy the company of friends and family. Enjoy your own company as well. Take yourself to the park, the art museum, the movies, or your favorite shopping mall. Consider taking an interesting college course. Plan a weekend trip to visit friends. Also, plan for an evening at home sometimes. Yes, sip a smooth bottle of wine, while you prepare your favorite meal and listen to some of your favorite CDs. Be careful, though. You just might get used to enjoying life this way. If nothing else, you'll be a much happier person and a wonderful person to be around. You may also meet some interesting people, when you're out and about.
2007-05-17 11:28:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it can be really lonely without a partner. But I have also finally realized that I would rather be alone than to put up with some of the stuff I had to when I had a partner. And yes it is comforting to have someone to come home to but if there is turmoil it's not really peaceful. Take the time to really get to know yourself. Can you get a 2nd job? I met a lot of new people doing that plus I can always use the extra money!! Take a nite and set it aside for tv, another night for beauty treatments, another nite for friends, etc. I try to keep myself very nice so if I should happen to meet someone - I am in good shape!!!! Taking time to do the little things for yourself can really make you feel like a million dollars! I am sure that in time you will find someone - but make sure he's a good one!!!!
2007-05-17 11:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to rely on someone to make you happy, happiness comes from within and it is a wonderful thing to have a partner that you can share everything with. I feel that relations are based on looks and lust these days, there is no time to getting to know the person before the "I do's" are pronounced. My wife and I were best friends for 12 months before we were romantically involved and when our marrige turns rocky (cause they all do at some point) we have our friendship to carry us through the bad times. So don't rush it and don't give up. Make yourself happy first and the rest will come.
2007-05-17 10:39:48 · answer #4 · answered by 400lbtwins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women here will tell you they don't need a man to be happy. They are fine on their own. They just *happen* to elect to have one around. At their whim. But they can quit any time they want. Cold turkey. No problem.
While that might be true of, oh, 1 woman in a 100,000, there's something to be said for human nature. It's tough to fight a few zillion years of human genetic imprinting and selection.
Don't worry - plenty of men feel the same way about women. It shouldn't be cause for being cynical or depressed (not that you are). It's more like well that's the game? Then, let's play!
2007-05-17 10:23:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't rely on someone else to make you happy.....You have to make yourself happy in order for others to enjoy your company...I think it's one thing to be by yourself and it's another when you accept being alone.....We all do things alone everyday but, some of us have someone to go home to at the end of the day.....Once you truly accept and is okay with the fact that this is how your life is right now and by the way theres nothing wrong with that, then you'll be okay to be happy and enjoy your own company....Hopefully, you'll get to enjoy your time and space with someone special really soon....
Best wishes***
2007-05-17 10:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After having been married for such a significant portion of your life, of course it will be difficult to transition into being sinlge! It is possible to adjust, in time, in your own way. I don't think that you necassarily need a man for a higher quality of life as long as you have other companionship- humans are social creatures after all. you'll always need some companionship. but this seems like an excellent time to really push your limits. test out new things. see what really makes you happy. So go have fun!! ^-^
2007-05-17 10:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to rely on someone to make you happy. The longing to have a relationship is not a bad thing either. You know deep in your heart that you long to care for and be cared for. There's nothing wrong with that! Maybe it is time you start dating.
Is there a reason you think you must be alone?
Maybe its time to find your spiritual side, that can bring peace.
2007-05-17 10:16:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"How do you learn to be happy by yourself?"
You learn your worth as a woman and as an idependent human being. You learn your strengths and weaknesses. You learn what you're willing to put up with from others and what you absolutely will not put up with. You reach deep down inside your soul and find out what brings you joy and you spend alot of time learning to be content being alone. When you get to the point where you can sit alone in a room by yourself, no distractions, and be happy and be at peace than you'll know what it is to truly be happy by yourself.
2007-05-17 10:17:32 · answer #9 · answered by juda75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very loving person, and that giving love and happiness to others seems to fill a little hole that you have somewhere in your heart. That is nothing to feel badly about, the world would be a better place if more people were as unselfish and loving as you are.
2007-05-17 10:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by juggalizzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋