my mom is getting married on july 7 but she gave me up when i was a baby. and the man that she is about to marry told her that that he didn't want her kids around so when i went home to alabama to visit her i couldn't even stay at her house i had to stay at my friends house cause he dosen't want her kids around. then she calls me ask me to be in her wedding, but i feel like why should i even go to this wedding, if the man she's about ot marry can't except her kids and she still wants to be with him.
2007-05-17 02:59:54 · 9 answers · asked by ashley a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough situation. Your mother is the only mother you will have in life and you should be there for her. BUT let her know under no uncertain terms, that YOU do not approve of her choice as a husband. You should always forgive and let go of the past, especially when she is reaching out to you...she's making herself very vunerable. And if the husband-to-be gets in your face, calmly tell him you are not there to make him happy but to be a daughter to YOUR mother!!
2007-05-17 03:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by huskergo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a touch spot sweetheart. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this situation.
Couple of questions. How long have you and your Mom been back in contact? How old are you? Your age will help to determine what the best thing to do here is. I think it's absurd that the man isn't going to accept your Mother for all that she comes with, which includes you. I think it's absurd that you're Mother wouldn't have you stay at her home because he's not interested in having children. I think it's a conversation that you're entitled to sit down and have with them together. Try not to be defensive or angry but explain to them that you're curious to know why they'd like to involve you in their wedding, when you're feeling left out of every other facet of their lives. You're a person of value and can't only be called upon when it's convenient for them. I wish you the absolute best. Things will be okay.
2007-05-17 03:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by HuntersMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that you tell your Mother that she should reconsider the marriage and that if he cannot accept you then you do not want to attend--make it short and sweet and stick to your decision! I have been in your Mom's place and she WILL regret her decision to marry a controlling guy like that! I know I have been there! But you do not have to accept him just because she does! You can just tell her that you guys can keep contact but that you do not feel comfotable being at her wedding! She should understand--If not, well you have your life to live also! She may not realize that having a "man" is about much more than "having a man"!
2007-05-17 03:07:11 · answer #3 · answered by Deborah G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should call your Mom and tell how you are feeling. Don't let this new man in her life ruin your relationship with your Mom. See what she says before deciding what to do. Personally, I think you should go to the wedding for your Mom and don't worry about what he thinks. The relationship between you and your Mom is what's important. Give her a call and honestly tell her how it hurt you when you came to visit. I think you will be able to work things out.
2007-05-17 04:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should go to the wedding just don't be in it. and if your mom asked i would tell her because i think that she is making the worst mistake in her life. that one day that she might need you and you wont be there because that you are tired of being hurt.i would also tell her that blood is thicker than water.and that she needed to step up to the plate and be a mom. and if she didn't listen then i would probably have to put her on the back burner and let her figure everything out on her own.
o yeah i would let my soon to be step dad know what i think of him.
and does he have kids? and if so do they go around him and your mom ?
My dad used to put me and my brother last every time he got a new wife he has been married 5 times i think. this is bad to say but me and my brother ran two of them off. that is mean but we did. now he is married to a woman that is crazy,i haven't tryed to run her off because i don't go around them. i am married now, and just like my dad i don't have time for him no more if he don't want to be a dad i cant make him so i quit trying!
2007-05-17 03:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by dontknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about how you feel about the situation, the guy she is with should have some respect for you as her child, because you are apart of her and should be apart of her life whether it is in the wedding on being in her household, its a tough call but you and her should be able to come up with some form of a compromise before the wedding...
2007-05-19 19:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh that is very sad!!!! And not letting you stay at her house becasue of him... I think if it was me.
I would go, to keep the peace and see if things change, but make sure you have money or can stay at a freinds house in case, you get to the wedding he is like "what is she doing here"!
2007-05-17 03:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by LadyinOz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think I could go. Is that man more important than her children? NO! You are special,and should be treated that way. it sounds like your mother hasent learned how to never let a man come b4 her child. good luck sweetie,but I wouldnt go.
2007-05-17 03:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by PHATTYGIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women will make a lot of excuses and accept a lot of bad behavior from their men.
It's up to you. If you love your mom, then you should go, even if she is marrying a dumbass.
2007-05-17 03:04:14 · answer #9 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋