My best friend is pregnant, it is her 1st, but she has just split up from the father and is upset. She lost her job when they found out she was pregnant, she moved in with the boyfriend and is now homeless cuz he kicked her out, the council are being difficult about accomodation and she has high blookd pressure due to all the stress. So she has started drinking. I moved away, due to work shortly after she found out she is pregnant and now I feel guilty that I am so far away and she needs me so much right now. What do I do? Any help/ advice?
2007-05-17 02:40:12 · 13 answers · asked by jbean1983 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Don't blame yourself. I know she's your best friend, but the best thing you can do now is just talk to her, and try and give her some advice on the pregnancy. Speak to her as much as you can to let her know she has someone there who cares about her, cos to her it probably seems like everyone has left her (please don't take offense to that - I mean her boyfriend/ job)
Where is the family to help her? What about the boyfriend, is he interested in the baby at all?
2007-05-17 02:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by Libby F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The stress is not only going to send her blood pressure through the roof but if she is drinking on top of that she could seriously do damage to the baby especially int he first trimester!
She could also possibly have a miscarriage if she continues to drink heavily, what she does to herself the baby feels every bit of also!
If you are a true friend, why don't you invite her to come and stay with you! Even if its just until she gets back on her feet, where are her Parents or family in all of this?
As for the boyfriend, I would have someone sort that bastard out! He obviously doesn't nor ever did really give a damn about her or the baby. Maybe you could talk to him and make him see reason?
She needs to talk to someone she can trust and most of all needs support if she is going to have a baby. Seriously this is a asap situation!
Something has to be done fast before the consequences become dire!
2007-05-17 03:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by celtic_colieen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One good thing I can see from this situation is that she's got you that truly cares about her. The rest just sounds like that the worst that could ever happen to a pregnant woman. Drinking is certainly not a solution to all her stress, but can certainly add more to her existing high blood pressure, pregnancy complication and financial burden. If she decides to continue the pregnancy, she MUST stop drink or else she will end up with a child with FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome, signs and symptoms includes mental retardation and physical deformity). It could be too late, too, depends on how much and how far she's been drinking during pregnancy.
2007-05-17 04:35:58 · answer #3 · answered by Brennen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're in an EU country, and your friend was employed for more than a year, her employers are liable for discrimination for sacking her because she was pregnant. That is illegal.
As for the boyfriend, well, she's well rid of him.
To be honest, she sounds a bit hopeless ... maybe having to deal with this will make her more mature in future. Not helpful I know, but she sounds like a disaster area.
2007-05-17 02:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...that's a toughy. Well you can always call her and ask her how she is doing. If she is still drinking you can beg and plead with her to stop...then maybe even send her an email of the affect of what alcohol does to a fetus. This will really let her see the light....hopefully. If she truly wants to have this baby..she'll calm it down. I hope that she is not homeless anymore! Good Luck!
2007-05-17 02:55:59 · answer #5 · answered by P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1: illegal to be fired for being pregnant.
#2: she needs to get to a woman's shelter or look into finding a maternity home.
#3: she needs to take a hard look at her life. She must set aside her wants and needs and think about this child.
Children come FIRST. If she thinks that she cannot raise this child in a healthy manner, if she thinks that this child would be better off with another person----she needs to seriously consider adoption.
I've been on both sides of this coin---I'm adopted and I've placed a child for adoption.
2007-05-17 02:53:50 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is awful to say but with a life like that she really doesn't need a baby, maybe she should look into putting her baby up for adoption, (the adoption agency or new adopting parents might pay for medical attention), if life is that bad b4 the baby, things aren't going to get better when you have a baby to have to support, feed, and cloth. support your friend but also look out for what is best for the baby.
Tough situation :(
2007-05-17 02:46:19 · answer #7 · answered by cassie h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww so sorry to hear this has happened to your friend.
It would be easy for someone to say 'she should not be drinking, shame on her' but really that wouldn't help would it?.
I think you even being on the other side of the phone for her would possible help her, or even try meet up with her, just to help reassure her.
She does have to stop drinking though (obviously).
But she didn't have to turn to drink when he left, and she shouldn't be able to afforded to drink either.
i really hope someone here can come up with good advice for u, and your friend.
take care, hope she straightens herself out soon, for both her, and her unborn child.
xx
2007-05-17 02:46:20 · answer #8 · answered by lovelifelivelife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only person who can help her right now is herself. She needs to get a place to stay, get some medical help, get off the sauce. She needs to go to a women's shelter right away or a pregnancy crisis center.
2007-05-17 02:42:55 · answer #9 · answered by leaptad 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go bac and giv ur friend sum support!! also try and get her 2 stop drinkin as her baby cud b born with FAS (Feotal Alchohol Syndrome)
2007-05-17 03:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by Louise M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋