I have been married for 5.5 years. During this time my husband has pursued other women by phoning them. Mostly his ex's. I find (not always but sometimes) numbers in his pockets for these women. I am not one to just not say anything to him. I will call the number and see who it is and then approach him about it. Sometimes he lies to me....sometimes he is honest. How long do I let this go on??????
2007-05-17 01:40:55 · 34 answers · asked by Krissy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's got relationship issues. Some guys just suck at it. Has he slept with them? Hopefully not. If he has I'd probably think about getting out. If he's just calling him, its weird but you can work it out.
I say this so often I feel like a broken record, but therapy is SO helpful. give it a shot!
2007-05-17 01:50:26 · answer #1 · answered by BJ tech 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well divorce is definitely not your first step. It sounds like you have taken the first step by not wanting it to continue. You just need to sit down with him and tell him that you don't like all of the lying and sneaking around with other women and if he denies it tell him to prove it to you by erasing and getting rid of all of his numbers for ex-girlfriends. Also, make sure you ask him why he is doing it, why he is still contacting them now that he is married. I wouldn't let it go on, but divorce is not the answer. You never know though, he could be ready to move on and that is why he is sneaking around. Try to get some marriage counseling if possible. Good luck!
2007-05-17 01:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by hillabee_is_me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay he must be hung like a horse for you to think that after the first number you would stick around. You need to think about this.....if he is cheating on you with any of these woman's phone numbers you find, he could be bringing home all kinds of nasty little diseases... why would you want to stay with this jerk... he has no respect for you or himself for that matter, he does not love you and he probably doesn't even like you anymore....get the heck out of there and start respecting yourself would ya.
2007-05-17 02:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by deadra m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may need counseling. There is a chance he has a problem. Or, he could just be a jerk. By keeping quiet you aren't solving anything. You need to confront him about what you know. Then tell him either the two of you get help together or it's over. I would not stay married to a man who does not want to end his adulterous behavior. I would give him one chance to get help and if he refuses he can kiss his savings account goodbye.
2007-05-17 01:46:18 · answer #4 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he`s been doing it for your entire marriage, then I`d say its time to go find someone who will respect you. Your husband obviously does not. You can do much better, and not all men will treat you this way. If he really cared about you, he would have stopped at the first confrontation!
2007-05-17 01:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by MISTY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey the best thing to do is leave, dont let him ruin your life just cuz you think he might stop or change what he's doing, he won't trust me ive been there, by the time you want to leave it'll even be harder, (I'm in a bad relationship right now after 15 yrs. and i so want to leave but can't cuz i have 5 kids and barelly starting a knew job,and have no familiy to help,or friends because i chose to stay.) think of all things youll miss out on if you stay?...
2007-05-17 05:14:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your hubby has no remorse when busted I say not a second longer. Frankly the first time would have been the last time in my book. Remorse results in behavior modification. Repetitive inappropriate behavior is a bright light your spouse may lack empathy. Think about it.
2007-05-17 02:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband of13 years had been talking to his ex from high school behind my back for like 3 or 4 years,,, and they talked all the time,,, i went to sprint and got the bill,,, it is devestating,,, if i could do it all over, i think i would have left,, in the long run the pain doesnt go away,,, it stays and then you have fights like my husband w/ say "get over it, or when are you gonna get over it" that sucks,, it feels like a slap in the face,,,,eventually your husband is going to make you feel so insecure and paranoid, it can be devestating to you life,, sorry to say, but i would leave,, your husband is super selfish and immature
2007-05-17 02:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down. Just ask him, do you still love me or what. If he gets an attitude like rolling his eyes or just plain does not gave a rats azz about the question then its time to move on. Is not very likely but those women might be just friends. But like i said very unlikely. The lieing alone is a tell tell.
2007-05-17 01:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by carabela 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a big problem..though in my opinion divorce is not the best answer in a marriage problem..well at least it could be made the last answer after all other means has been tried and exhausted.. try to go to a marriage advisor.. try to patch things up..convince him that if he really loves you then he would stop persuing other women,,he's a married man have a responsibility on his family.. try any other means to fix your problem before going through divorce.. if you have children, it will affect them permanently..
2007-05-17 01:50:07 · answer #10 · answered by ceanji 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋