my fiancee and i lost our last pregnancy though this one is going great we are just a few days short of 11 weeks and hes scared to touch me it weirds him out with the cervical liquid volume increase and hes scared because of what happened last time so we've been unable to not only that but during most of my first trimester i haven't felt too wonderful but my nausea is easing up a little bit and my libido is raising and i'm just wondering if theres anything i can do to make him more comfortable i've already explained my cervix is protected by the mucus plug and the baby is surrounded by the amniotic fluid and sac in my placenta so he can't hurt the baby but this isn't easing his troubled mind at all its like weirding him out though to want to be intimate in anyway and i'm not sure what to do to make him comfortable any ideas?
2007-05-16 19:47:02 · 6 answers · asked by LittleOne 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You didn't say how you lost your last pregnancy. It could be important. Had your doctor given you the OK on sex during this pregnancy? It's safe during most pregnancies, but because of your losing your last one, your circumstance might be different. If your doctor has given you the okay, maybe your fiance needs to hear it as well.
You have already explained the medical side of things to him and he still doesn't feel comfortable. So probably he has a psychological thing going on. Does your fiance feel guilty in some way for the loss of your last pregnancy? Even if he was in no way responsible, he might just feel that way. And he sounds very worried at the least. Would he be open to talking to a psychologist or therapist?
Maybe you can agree to wait until the second trimester to become more intimate. Explain to him that the chances of miscarriage go down dramatically then. Talk to him very gently about your feelings and maybe suggest some ways you can be intimate without having sex. Maybe after you're into the 2nd trimester you can coax your fiance one small step at a time.
My fiance is also worried about having sex and it is bothering me. He's Chinese and in China they say you *can't* have sex for most of the pregnancy. He totally thinks he is going to hurt the baby and doesn't listen to my medical explainations. We were still having it once a week until maybe I was 6 months along. Now it's only a couple times a month. It makes me feel rejected, not to mention that my libido is still active!
The only thing we've been able to do is talk to each other about it gently and honestly. He knows I am not happy with so little physical intimacy, but I know he's really not comfortable with doing anything more often. So, we've had to compromised that I will get more hugs and cuddling in exchange for less sex. And I have had to help myself out a few times. It's working okay, but isn't ideal. I hope you guys have some better luck!
2007-05-17 04:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by preggo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already explained the medical reasons. explain to him that you need him now. Try all the tricks that used to turn him on. Tell him that you guys can go slow and gentle until he's comfortable. Maybe even try you on top so he thinks you're in complete control and he doesn't have that fear of crushing your abdomen.
2007-05-16 19:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by FunnyGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't mean to rude but all this cervical liquid talk would turn me off too.
2007-05-16 19:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by Delete System32 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask your doctor to speak with him.
2007-05-16 19:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your doctor to speak to him and to reassure him that there is no problem. maybe that will help.
2007-05-16 20:31:18 · answer #5 · answered by Tiara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps this WebMD article will help him.
2007-05-16 19:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by DefenseEngineer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋