we have been married for 9 yrs.. have 2 kids.. and recently while cleaning his cabinet i saw a letter to his ex.... appologize for leaving her without words...and ask for her forgiveness..he wrote the letter 2 yrs ago..how should i react?..
2007-05-16 19:42:16 · 18 answers · asked by saroja 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The fact that you found it could mean he never even posted it. Maybe he decided not to post it cos he did not want to feel unfaithful to you. Its really quite noble that he wished to ask for her forgiveness while he still chooses to live his life with you. Closure of a past love gives room for a present love to move on and grow stronger. Torturing yourself like this can only hurt your relationship so I urge you to talk with your husband and share your fears with him. All the best.
2007-05-16 19:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd find out what else was happening in your lives at the time he wrote the letter, just to square things in my own mind, find out whether he did it for a particular reason? Maybe not, he might have just been feeling guilty about the fact that he was having a good life with a happy family after he ditched her!
Either way, you know he didn't send the letter!
2007-05-17 02:52:23 · answer #2 · answered by Allegra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is quite common and normal for persons to feel regret over how they dealt with relationships and situations in the past. Writing that letter may have been catarthic for him: a means of achieving closure.
As long as the letter is not a plea for her to take him back, I would not personally have a problem with it; especially since he had not even bothered to mail it.
My advice: put the letter right back where you found it and forget it altogether. Then thank God for having such a thoughtful, caring and sensitive husband who still cares about the feelings of others seven years after the fact!
2007-05-17 02:56:10 · answer #3 · answered by LovablyMe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I found any letters my husband had written his ex anytime after the first 6-12mths of our relationship. I would be so ANGRY
1. why was he thinking about her & how it ended after all that time?
2. He shouldve tlk 2 me, finding a ltr is just BS
3. How would he react if the roles were RVSD
Hopefully, it's nothing to worry about but that is something that would really bother me even if it was innocent...
Good Luck!!! You should really talk to him if it's bothering you, if it's nothing he should give you answers. I'd want to know what was going through his mind.
2007-05-17 03:27:24 · answer #4 · answered by Jeweled Everywhere 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think long and hard about our relationship, I would think about how it has been going and what I wish it could be....
If you find that for most part they are negative things I would consider leaving him....
The fact that he thought of someone else whilst married to me would be a huge indicator of his happiness in the life we share together.
I would think about confronting him and try to get an honest account of why it was written....
Maybe it was during a tough time and he is now very content?
In anycase I would never ignore something like that...its a sign for you to look deeper into your relationship....
Are you happy?
2007-05-17 02:58:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.....you can look at it two ways: Either he has grown up and feels remorse for his immaturity. Or he is trying to rekindle something. How did he leave the closing words? Either way it was a wrong things to do without discussing it with you. You have a communication breakdown.
2007-05-17 02:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was asking her for forgiveness because he left her (for you?) without words. He is trying to right a wrong in his life, to make amends. That's a good thing! Why don't you do the same? It may be good for you too!
2007-05-17 02:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by Andy K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he was just trying to make amends to another human being for being a cad. If he wasn't trying to make a date I'd just put it back and forget you saw it. You could also (to yourself) appreciate the fact that he cares about the feelings of others.
2007-05-17 02:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about this otherwise it will be nagging your mind.
But try not to accuse him or keep poking him about this.
Just talk about it ,make it clear that the relationship is no more & then forget abt this totally.Continue ur normal life.
2007-05-17 03:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by curious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he felt guilty!! Anyway, it was 2 years ago.. So, just pretend you never saw it and forget about it!!
Good Luck!
2007-05-17 05:36:24 · answer #10 · answered by Chocolategal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋