first of, don't judge me 4 saying this, but it was an arrange marraige & i wuzn't ready 4 it. but soon i accepted everything & was so happy & even happier ven i had a daughter. but we never really had so much of a gr8 understanding. & yes due 2 arrange marraige, he is much older dan me & nothing of our interests r the same. I am a completely diff person as who he wants me to be. da things dat he likes r just not in my nature (i m extremely simple and don't know much about the world since i wud only be in my room all the time) although i do want 2 change myself but yet am so frustrated of how to be all the things i am not. (bold, outgoing, sensible, smart) etc. Although he is extremely cooperative & loving but recently we had an argument & i gave him "permision" 2 go find another girl who he likes...& he has started dis new class & the 1st day he told me dere r only 2 guys n de class...so now he shaves daily, dresses nice & is recently listening to romantic songs which he never did b4!
2007-05-16 19:01:57 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to stop this while you still can. Your a human being and deserve the same respect as anyone else, no matter how smart and witty. He took vows with you and should stick by them wether they were arranged or not. Don't let anyone doubt you own integrity, i'm sure you just wonderful. But it can never hurt to increase you knowledge, try picking up a interesting book. But don't do it for him do it for yourself!
2007-05-16 19:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by Alana 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you want your husband to take notice of you and respect you, you MUST go and EDUCATE yourself. Enrol in a course that interests you, start there. Dress nice, and go.
Why? Because it will increase your self esteem and worth.. you will feel more confident and become more independent. Then, your husband will feel somewhat insecure (he may not like it to begin with, it's a threat to him) but eventually also proud.. and he will respect you because he knows you don't need him!
Only then will you see a change in him, and he will treat you nice. Oh.. and just because you gave 'permission' doesn't mean you meant it (woman's perogative!) I'm sure it was said in argument.. which is not an invitation to actually do so.
Make it clear to him that you are married.. and that you OBVIOUSLY didn't mean it when you said he could go elsewhere. Tell him if he is looking, you will leave. He needs to know where he stands and what his boundaries are. Be honest, tell him you've noticed a change in him and it is bothering you. And tell him you love him.. because I think you really do.
2007-05-16 19:23:49 · answer #2 · answered by Aussie mum 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unfortunately it does sound like he is getting ready for an affair. The question is, do you care if he goes out on you? If so then I would take a stand and show him you are his wife. Fight for your husband. He probably thinks you have lost intrest in him. Give him a nice dinner and try to show your affection. Pop out the question if he is happy with you or if he is cheating. Try to start the sparks of love. If you care about your marriage otherwise move on and let him move on. Two people who truely in love one another will go beyond to make it work.
Best of luck Peace be with the both of you.
2007-05-16 19:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by sallygamino 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOUgave your hubby permision to find another woman.gee!!!your so much kinder than i am.i am sure hes dressing nicer and shaves daily. hes just doing what you gave him permision to do.you just gave him the green light.now you dont trust him.girl you better set him down and tell him you said that in a heated argument.tell if you catch him cheating you will kick his ask me no question and hers.ask him if he would like to start paying child support. he should be home with you and your child. good luck!!!!!! next time you get mad think before you speek!!!
2007-05-16 19:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like neither one of you is happy with the marriage. You don't have much in common, don't understand each other. He is possibly running off with other women...
Ask yourself this: Are you happy with this situation?
If not, get out of this miserable marriage. I know, easier said than done, but is it really worth it to live your life like this?
Start over and concentrate on taking care of yourself and your daughter. I think everyone would be happier.
2007-05-16 19:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by aak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is either seeing a woman on the side or one of those 2 guys in the class is helping your husband with extra homework.
2007-05-16 20:36:49 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy/or were why in the world would you give him permission to find a new girl?
Marriage is marriage....not an open book....
If I were you I would talk to him and tell him your feelings that you do care and you are trying....
or just give up....your choice...the ball is in your court, you set the rules by telling him it was okay....communicate and express...
also you need to think about your daughter too...its not just the two of you anymore.
best wishes
2007-05-16 19:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats a tough one... I have a girlfriend who I really love very much... but I think for a guy and maybe a girl, we like the attention... even if were married or spoken for. I like to dress to impress, and get my hair cuts regularly to look good. If one girl just one girl, especially if shes pretty, complements me or gives me that "flirtatious" look... that alone would have made my week...! doesn't mean I would sleep with her... but it also doesn't mean I wouldn't talk to her either... of coarse I've got my limits... in your situation, you should find out what you both really want and talk about it...
2007-05-16 19:13:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off learn to type and spell properly.
Secondly, get a further education to improve your grammar
Thirdly, set up your own personal bank account
Fourthly, get a promising job after you finish your further eduation.
You'll know in time if you really want to stay in this fake marriage forever.
Good luck.
2007-05-16 20:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by like-it 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be rebellious and leave. You should have enough money to support yourself. Move out and confide in your mother, if mom don't agree, then oh well!!! You have to live for you, this is your life and you only get one. You can't live for him, your mom, your dad, or your family. They don't have to live or sleep with him everyday and night...You do! If your family disowns you for doing what makes you feel happy, then you have to question their love for you. I know it is tradition but you have to make you happy sweetheart, thats whats most important
2007-05-16 19:11:53 · answer #10 · answered by jusme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋