my fionce has some anger issues, and well undelt issues and it leads him to use other things as an outlet like anger, alcohol once a week but when he does drink its enough for 3 days)... gamblings, betting, he just needs to deal with his issues we have two kids together and i dont wanna leave him but he has issues if its not one thing its another always drama and excess. is there help for this man and is there a diagnosis ?
2007-05-16 18:32:03 · 6 answers · asked by linseynicoleharmon 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hey darling girl! My assessment is that he is self destructive and will take you and your children down the same path. Anger and abuse live in a cycle, he needs to deal with his. You, on the other hand need to deal with your children... You are the keeper of their souls, their psychy and their happiness. Don't stay with him for the children... Leave him for their safety and psychological and spiritual health.
Having been in a troubled relationship myself and the SINGLE mother of two, I can appreciate your dilemma. All that being said, the damage an angry, unhappy person can inflict on a child is irreparable. (Your companion as a point of matter!) Take yourself and your children out of this situation before tragedy strikes. It takes but a moment. You are an educated and prepared woman who can take care of yourself and your children.
I promise you, you will not be alone for ever. There is someone out there that will love you and your children and will give you what you need and want. However, at this moment you need to re-learn to stand on your own two feet and make yourself happy. I have learned - through the many years I have spent on this journey called life - that we cannot make those around us happy unless they want to find that happiness and if we spend too much time trying to make them happy unsuccessfuly - we run the danger of loosing our own life flame. Love these people, they need it badly, but never at the expense of your own life light! Be happy and focus on the wellbeing of those little children, who so greatly need you whole and powerful.
Much love, happiness and magic, I wish on your way. May the love and compassion of the Goddess keep you and your children protected, powerful and joyful! Lourdes
2007-05-16 19:14:33 · answer #1 · answered by magical_whimsie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get help for your children if nothing else. It sounds like he may have an addictive personality. I think your children and their well being have to come first. Don't marry this guy until he is willing to get some help to change and step up and be a good father. Marriage will not make him change his ways. I suggest counseling if you can get him to go. Maybe you could approach it as counseling for the two of you to work through some things before you get married. Children are alot smarter than we give them credit for. They pick up on everything and it can affect them as they grow up. I wish you luck and happiness. Take care of you and the kids first!
2007-05-16 22:57:23 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from me when I say that you cant change a single thing about him. You can pray for him but he has to want to change and have a better life. I was married to my ex-husband for 7 years and he started out drinking. Every once in a while he would do speed. Then, he started using cocaine. Now he has left for someone else and trying to take my kids (he's rich). GET AWAY!!! If he wants to change then losing you will shift him into gear to do something about his life. Your kids will grow up before you know it and they will remember their dad as drinking once in a while. Gambling every now and then. They will do it to unless you show them a better way of life. You can do nothing and take it and let him ruin your life or you can take action and possibly save his life. Do the right thing for your self and for your kids above all.
2007-05-16 19:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is help, but nothing will help him if he doesn't want it. You say you don't want to leave him....is it for the sake of the kids? Most people with issues like you have described don't change, in fact things just get worse. You should ask yourself if you are willing to live the rest of your life dealing with his issues and exposing those innocent children to them. I would run from that situation in a heartbeat.
2007-05-16 18:39:51 · answer #4 · answered by Judy W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing the two of you can ever do is get involved in the Mormon Church and get some spiritual strength going and get the kids involved in positive things. That is the best chance you guys have for happiness. Go to lds.org and ask for missionaries to come teach you. Great happiness is in store for your family if you will listen to what the Missionaries have to teach you. God Bless you! Your man will get the answers he needs and so will you!
2007-05-16 18:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Alvin York 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fiances,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
2007-05-16 18:47:38 · answer #6 · answered by officer dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋