Is a gay life a sad life?

Question

i live in a family with catholic views and i heard some guy my age that i knew killed himself because he was gay and his family was like hardcore catholic. Im really sad to learn that my brother is gay. I used to be a guy who would think "eww gays, get the hell away from me." but now through research i found out its not his fault. Im sad to think that he has to hide this secret inside of him ontop of him having and older brother and sister that always put him down for other reasons(no one knows he's gay) Im wondering are there any homosexual men who have grown up like this, if so ho was it or is it? do you cope? what did your parents think or do when they found out? Im really depressed and sad I accept him the way he is. it would just be easier if he werent gay. I guess there will always be things in life you wont like.

Answer 1

I believe your life is what you make of it. I don't think it is necessarily a sad life. Tough and trying maybe. A "Gay" individual has to endure a lot of criticism and ugliness through there life. People can make you miserable. You have to ignore the ugly and enjoy being who you are. I have a homosexual uncle who is proud of who he is. Never regrets or hides from his true self. you have to be proud and be able to face what our society is going to throw at you.

Answer 2

I think it's very sad the way this world is. Why can't each person be the way they are without fear of being looked down on, even by their own family ?
May be your brother should move to a place where gays are more accepted. Or may be even a different country, like the netherlands.
I mean we live only once. Why waste it trying to convert people's ideas about something that they're so set in? If you can't beat them, just go play some where else!!

Answer 3

If I am reading your question correctly you are talking about yourself. The emotion of the wording of your explanation gave it away.
I can't add any more to what Death has already said, except that you have a long road to walk and it will not be an easy one. There are many resources available to teens today that did not exist when I was growing up.
I too am a volunteer with teens and parents and have seen everything Death has seen and maybe more since I was one of those discarded kids in the '60's. I survived by sheer will. I wasn't going to be a victim, I was going to survive at any cost except my self respect. So I worked, not the streets, but jobs that other people wouldn't do. I stayed in school despite my lack of a "home". As I got older I got better jobs and continued into college. It was hell on earth. But I survived. You can too. Take advantage of the resouses available. They will help you cope. If your family finds out. So be it. FORCE them into counciling if need be. They have responibilies to you. Youth/Family services departments in major cities provide those services.
My best wishes to you. Keep your chin up.

Answer 4

I think for some it is a sad life. I know of someone who is gay. Her own family make rude comments about her behind her back... Just because she is gay. Especially because in their religious beliefs it is wrong. I imagine it must be very hard for her. She has had very bad luck in life and much of it is do to her being gay. She has been abused made fun of. Some don't even bother to hide their dislike towards her. I've heard people say that they don't choose to be gay they just feel what they feel. Not like the ones who say they are bi. Those they just want to try everything and anything.

Answer 5

A gay life shouldn't be that sad. Yes, in that type of predicament, maybe. But normally it shouldn't be.

If a guy was gay and belonged to a hardcore catholic family, he should still come out of the closet. And they should learn to still love him and respect him the same as they've always been. If they were the type to shun him out of their lives...Then...well...It's time to move away from the family and start another life and different religion.

I'm confused for the time being and am about to come out and say that I am bi. But yes I am under pressure and belonging to a catholic family. So I think I'll keep this a secret and hide it for a while. I'm only a teen and I can't bare to see my family shun me or treat me differently, I'm too young to try and get away from them... ughh

Answer 6

You are very open minded and educated, I commend you on that. Too many people seem closed minded about it. It's refreshing to hear someone educating themselves on the topic.

As for me, I grew up Roman Catholic in Portugal. Interestingly enough I never heard anything negative about homosexuality growing up, never. It also wasn't touted as a positive, it just didn't seem a concern, so I never developed any feeling that it was wrong. I actually never encountered the attitude until I was probably 15 or so in Canada(moved here when I was 9). I fail to understand the logic to this day to tell you the truth.

To me my sexual orientation is a side thing, it's inconsequential, it's nor good nor bad, just is. These negative views are totally alien to me, it's like someone speaking another language.

I see my sexual orientation as just a part of me. It's always been with me, I've never known anything else, it's as much a part of me as my hair colour or eye colour. It doesn't define me. It only defines for others what my sexual orientation is, nothing more.

Funny thing though, when I did come out to my mom she went right into denial, said I was too young to know that I was gay. Her wording is funny to me, too young. She did not make it positive or negative, she didn't define it as a moral problem, she just said I was too young. Now we don't talk about it much but she seems fine with it. She knows she raised me right, that I'm a good person, and healthy, and happy, and that's what matters.

I'm worried a bit about having kids though, and how that'll come across to her. My one stepbrother has 2 kids, and she loves them. I think she's given up on the idea that I'll have kids, though I do intend to. My worry is just about bringing it all up. "Uhm Mom, I got a girl pregnant, I'm gonna have a kid." Just seems like it'll stun her a bit heh. But we'll make it through.

So yeah, like I said, my life is good, I'm healthy and happy, I have a healthy relationship, better than even my heterosexual friends, who always seem to say "I wish I were so lucky, my relationships only last a few months." I plan to have kids, biological and adopted, and have a nice family. Such is my path in life.

My sexual orientation hasn't at all affected my path, it's just a trait, nothing more.

Answer 7

This is my philosophy if I can call it that. There are many cultural views that surrounds the issue of being gay. I don't think that gayness really has much to do with religious views but it is more related to social perspectives and in my opinion religious principles on the wrongness of being gay would be considered one form of a social perspective. Then there is the actual cultural perspective depending on which part of the world you come from. It is understandable enough and I guess people take it for a fact that these days that people in the Western world are very accepting of homosexuality and at least people in this part of the world have a freedom of being gay if they accept it and are happy with it. However, some families still feel that they are bound my religious principals that determine what kind of sexuality is acceptable and what kind is not.
And now my own personal view. I am gay and I come from the Eastern part of the world where homosexual issue are best not spoken of. Believe me it was a sad life then and still it is a sad life now, even though I am now living in Canada. And even though I am living in one of the most accepting countries when it comes to gay issues, I still have problems adjusting and getting myself through life because of my gayness. I try so hard to hide it but then my sexual orientation can be so easily revealed because I do have any preferences for most of the things that normal men like to do, such sports, making ridiculous but gender acceptable jokes and of course the main thing that might usually give my sexuality away, girls. Being unable to opinionate in a natural way about these topics usually seem to convince people that there is something wrong with me and if they knew about it, they don't say it. But I can tell from the way they look at me the next day that they have gone home and answered the question of my sexuality themselves. It is and I usually find it strangely seems to be that girls and not guys find it more easier to accept a gay person. Yeah, most of the people who know about me are girls and I usually end up having a more closer mutual relationship with them. Then what do the guys think of this closesness between me and my female friends? You can guess it. My familiy know nothing about me being gay and God know what they'll do to me if they found out. So there, all these different issues that I have to think about certainly puts a lot of pressure on how I make my way in life from one day to the next and these pressures can often lead to people thinking that their life will always be a bumpy path with now happy ending so the sort it out the best way that they can by making it a short one, which is what I feel like doing sometimes. I am still being patient about waiting a for good turn in my life, that would make me a gay person be able to enjoy it. However, it still has not come yet and I can only wait for so long. Who knows how I might take care of this problem in the future? SO yeah, my honest opinion to your question is that gay life is a sad life, but then it depends on who has to live it and how it affects him or her.

Answer 8

I am gay, have had a very exciting, interesting life fill with fun, heartache, fly to the clouds highs, and depths of hell lows...so who hasn't? I know I have had a more colorful life than most, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Many teens commit suicide..the incidence of gay teens is particularly high due to homophobia ... it is sad that gay teens cannot all go to a large school in a very large town..they would actually have a great life.

Answer 9

Being gay isn't a sad or depressing thing for me. Yea high school is a confusing place for people who are gay because of all the negative reaction's there are for us. I am doing just fine with life, i have allot of things going right for me and even more importantly, there are no things or reasons for gays to be upset or sad about life. There are groups and support for help.

Answer 10

A person will lead a sad life if he is ashamed of what he is, no matter he is gay or not. So be brave and be proud of being whatever you are, then you will be a wonderful person. To make people accept who you are, you must accept yourself in the first place. If you brother is going to hide this forever, it will always be the ghost and haunt him the whole life. But if he will just accept and be proud of it, it will be a gift to his life.