They are full of themselves, selfish, disrespectful, and hard to like, even the sucessful ones. How do you distance your self from the odious tendencies and still like them--ofcourse you love them. Its hard for me.
2007-05-16 16:14:28 · 11 answers · asked by kim 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Think back - when I was a teen I was a rebel without a cause.
When I was 20 I thought I knew it all (but I did take care of myself - I was an adult and it was not my parents' responsibility to take care of me or my kids).
Then I turned thirty and realized how much I did not know. Still there. But I have a 16 year old who is a rebel without a cause. He is selfish (normal), not disrespectful of me but I have had complaints from others. I have not seen it though. He's not perfect but I love him.
I guess what I do is think to myself that he is not me. He is growing up to find his own life and it is his life. I cannot control him. As long as his actions do not infringe on my life I need to let things go (he is still to young for me to be this way completely though). You need to let go. Control is just a figment of your imagination. Tell them that you don't like it when they act ____________ way and to please not do that in your presence. You did the best you could. He/she is an adult and as such is in control of his/her life. As long as he is not still living with you in which case you can say that as long as he lives in your house he still needs to abide by your rules which are ___________ and you will not put up with disrespect. When he has his own house he can do as he likes but until then these are the expectations.
2007-05-24 03:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by bobbijoslin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of how you were at that age. You felt like you could take life by the stones and toss it around. you were invincible. Homones and aredreniline are always high and racing. We have the whole world in front of us, and we know it. we cop attitudes really easily when we feel like we are being confined or that someone is trying to hold us back. We hate when people butt into what we are doing as well. despite how outgoing we are, wew are private people. Just leave the kid alone for a while. They will realize how much they love and need you eventually. Im only 21 and i realized that. It takes time for some people, but trust me, you will love your child again because he or she loves you.
2007-05-24 11:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the kid really. My daughter that is just turning 23, just got sense and we are now the best of friends! Never thought that would happen after those teenage years! Then there is my son that I was always close to until he married a selfish controlling woman that cant stand our entire family and wont let him even see us or his friends from college. She was married twice before as well and now she is making my sons life miserable and everytime he threatens to leave, she gets pregnant again! Someday he may see for himself that he is just digging the hole deeper and deeper!! I just let him go, I tried to get along with her but nothing I do works so I just leave them alone. Theres only so much you can do once they are grown!
2007-05-16 23:24:16 · answer #3 · answered by autumn wolf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have any 20+ year old children, but I can see where you are coming from.
Minimal responsibility and personal accountability have made many of them, for lack of a better word, assholes. Not having to fend for themselves by living at home and having the privileges of a full fledged adult has made a lot of numb and inconsiderate semi-adults. Knowing that repercussions for anti-social actions are practically non-existent, and if any actions not to their liking do occur, they can pursue litigation to ensure that they will have their way.
2007-05-16 23:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by Horndog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 20 something...
my mom told me my elder bro's (also 20 something) personalities despicable.
my mom would agree with u.
as a 20 something, i think distancing yourself is not gonna solve the problem. the problem now is that the 20 something thinks they know the WHOLE WORLD. and they probably more educated than their parents, so WHO is to tell them what is right and wrong.
COMMUNICATIONS is the key. my parents don't communicate with us well... so we ended up, the greatest children in front of others, but back home - we're driving them up the wall. COMMUNICATE - is not talking, is not shouting at each other, is not telling him what to do, is not telling him what u think is right or not.
COMMUNICATE - is telling him what u think (not RIGHT OR WRONG) just opinions, leave it for him to decide it's right or not, and most of the time, there's no right or wrong. and listen to his opinion (most of the time, they get frustrated coz they couldn't express their opinions), slowly, give them time to think. this is not a one-day thing...
2007-05-16 23:34:27 · answer #5 · answered by Mel m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not every 20- something year old "kid" is like this. Take it from a responsible 21 year old, these "kids" you speak of probably just haven't grown up yet or were not raised well. Such is life. I'd say just wait for them to grow out of this stage, or point out to them that their behaviour doesn't match their age. Good luck!
2007-05-16 23:22:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep
I love mine with every part of my being (that is with what's left in the aftermath) I'm trying to rebuild my life after overinvesting in mine and believing that blood was thicker than water.
This generation has never known real hardship and we tried to give them all the things that we never had! We tried to protect them from bad things and give them every opportunity to be their best. BUT I've learnt that hardship builds character because you have to dig deep and find internal strength to survive in a harsh world. By protecting them and giving them everything they have failed to learn the issues we had to learn.
I'll get down off my soap box now. If yours is still around you have to stand your ground and hope for the best in the long run. I don't like mine, but I love her like I love no one else -
I guess this is the real meaning of unconditional love?!?!
I hope you have better luck with yours than I did.
Best wishes to you
2007-05-16 23:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by flip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a hard time with my 19 yr old daughter. She currently is screwing around with a 26 yr old married man who has a 3 yr old daughter. She is unthankful, ungreatful and only thinks of herself. She has ran me into so much debt I will never get out of it and I wish she would just get out.
2007-05-16 23:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my daughter..24...2 kids..not married...pain in the azz...and expects us to help her out...of course I told her it her life dont drag us down because you made mistakes....then she went to her room and went to bed.
She lives with us and 1 kid..the other is with the dads parents...girls..what do they think?
But it's fun having the grandkid around though. Gives me a reason to act stupid.
2007-05-16 23:24:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lots
2007-05-24 19:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋