I am having feelings about my ex-husband for the past three years. We broke up 10 years ago. In my sleep I dream that we are getting back together. He is a wonderful father to our daughter. He is remarried quickly after we broke up and has been married for 9 years. I would NEVER try to break up his marriage. I told him about my dreams hoping it would stop how I was feeling but it did not work. I did not want the divorce. He ended the relationship due to I was not being the kind of wife I should be (but I was NOT cheating on him). I have changed over the years for the better. I wish I had him back but I know he loves his wife although they have problems. I have grieved this relationship the last 3 years and am not over him. Whenever I see him I just wish I had him back. I have tried dating other guys. Once he said he thinks about "what if" sometimes too. I doubt he will get divorced, they have a 6 yr old daughter together. Should I wait around? How can I move on? Will this ever go away?
2007-05-16 16:09:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it sounds really pathetic. I go through periods where I feel better, then when I see him again, the feelings come back. I have talked about it to a counselor and they could not make the feelings stop. I stay busy all the time, so it's not from lack of having things to do. I have tried to make the feelings stop but they have not. I really want to move on and am trying hard but these feelings haunt me.
2007-05-17 13:46:05 · update #1
aaww that is so sad. If he is happy there is nothing you can do sweetie. Just try to fill that void and get someone who has those same great qualities. You could be waiting on something that may never happen. You deserve to be loved to. I know how you feel though.
Kinda going through something similar....
2007-05-16 16:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are always going to have feelings for your ex husband. You two were once in love and share and daughter, so you will always be family. The "what if" questions are always going to be there.
But you do have to let go. Realize that the person you have become is not a result of being with him.....you may be a better person now because you aren't with him.
The fact remains that he is married and is committed to his wife. Give him the respect they deserve and let him live his life with her. Don't mention to him any dreams or feelings you have because sharing won't make them go away. The only thing it will do is get a reaction out of him and make you think about things even more. Let him go. Don't wait around and yes you should move on.
2007-05-16 16:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by torn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your feelings for your ex and it's good that you realize the mistakes that you made in the marriage.
It sounds as if he's a really good man so don't interfere in his marriage. The feelings that you are having for him is normal considering that you are looking for a man that you date to be like your ex. Honey, you'll never find another man exactly like your ex. He'll either be worse or better but not exact.
Its time for you to realize that he will not divorce his wife. Get it together and start a life that is fulfilling for you.
You cannot stop your dreams for this man but I wouldn't tell him about the dreams because you are making it difficult for him, considering that he's remarried.
Stop grieving and move on.
2007-05-16 16:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really wish I had an answer...or even that you did... I have a similar problem... My ex, is the father of my daughter, and we were together for almost 4 yrs. We broke it off when I joined the Army, but we talked regularly. All of a sudden, 7 months ago, I walked into a marriage with someone that i had known for 6 weeks...Lets just say that I miss him so very much, and I have had almost the same dreams that you talk about...Its weird, and it really makes me uncomfortable, knowing that I still love him very much...get any answers that help, let me know... breannadawn090604@yahoo.com
2007-05-16 16:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You were so wrong in telling your ex husband about your dream! I doubt that it was because you thought it would make your thoughts of him go away. You were probably hoping he was thinking the same thing. From reading your comments on father's rights I can see what kind of a person you are, and can imagine what kind of wife you were. It doesn't look like you have really changed that much.
2007-05-18 21:59:11 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Respect yourself enough to stop loving someone who can't return it, yes, that is hard to do but you have no other choice in this matter. We always grieve losing someone we love, but you need to get some help since it has been this long. Move forward and not backward.
2007-05-16 16:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's remarried. It's over. You will never be with him again. Get some counseling and SOMETHING, ANYTHING to occupy your mind and your time. This is sick obsession and needs to be put in check.
2007-05-16 16:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by LilyBelle 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is long past time for you to move on.
2007-05-17 07:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by barrister02061959 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋