Why do I act like this?

Question

Today, I saw a girl doing her physics homework in the library, and I get jealous..It's weird because I have never got jealous over anything..Seriously, I'm not the jealous type of people...

When I see her, I wish I can be like her..I dont even know her, you see. I want to become a doctor, but I'm not good in science...Then I sits at my desk thinking I wish I can be like her..I wish I can do well in science...Thinking about the possiblity that my science GPA will delay my med school application, I dont' know what to do with my life...

Why am I jealous? Am I reasonable?

I wish I can be like her..I sound so ridiculous..

Answer 1

Your problem is not jealousy - we all get jealous of someone at some point or other. That will pass, and you will remember it some day and smile at how you used to think, wondering why on earth you were jealous in the first place.

Your problem is a bit of immaturity - we all get that too, but at different times in our lives it can really damage our path and put real spokes in our wheels.

To gain maturity and a better outlook on life, you will need to address youself and your motivations. Find out the real reason you want to be a doctor. The reasons could be many - you admire a certain doctor and want to be the same. You hear doctors make a lot of money and you want that (BTW, not all of them do). You feel that doctors are respected, admired and listened to, and you want all that. You have been told by your family that being a doctor would make them happy, and you want that for them. Well, being a doctor is not the only way you can get the things you want, or the only way you can make people proud of you.

So sit down and make a list of what you really want. Why being a doctor? Are you sure? If science is a problem, it will get in the way, and getting there will be so hard you will be tempted to stop many times.

What ARE you good at? What will get you respect, admiration, money, and joy? Some people walk effortlessly into what they want, it seems. That girl at the library may very well be one of those people. But is it so effortless? They make it look that way, but there may be more to the story - it might be really hard for her, but she's good at doing hard things. It may be easy for her because she's had a lot of guidance from someone who knows her well.

Nothing is exactly as it seems - you yourself may seem confident and capable to others who know nothing about how you really feel.

Find guidance - go to a careers counsellor who will assess your skills, knowledge, aptitudes and tendencies and will advise you about how to proceed in life.

Find help - someone who knows you and would like to see you succeed. Take their advice and look into becoming a more mature person who understands that the world is a tough tough place, and that success comes to those who persist, who organise themselves, who get on with others, who are resilient.

Good luck

Answer 2

You aren't being ridiculous. You are being human. It is natural to feel self-doubt, to analyze yourself and think "I'm a mess. That girl is much more together than I am." What you don't know is how she feels about herself. She might feel the same things you feel. Maybe not about physics, but other things. All of it is part of being a human being, insecurity is something we all feel at some time or another.

What I suggest is that you talk to someone about your worries. Maybe your academic advisor, maybe a counselor at your school's counseling service. If you don't want to do either, try to keep things in perspective. Are you the only student who wishes you could do as well as a someone else? No. Is it natural to sometimes feel jealous and insecure? Yep. Will you science GPA delay your med school application? It might, but if it does, it's not the end of the world. You apply again later. In the meantime, do the best you can. Go to your professor's office and ask him/her for help on anything you have trouble with. Possibly find a tutor. Try and find a little time in the day to do something you enjoy to keep you from being too stressed. You aren't the only person feeling like you are on the planet, or even at your school. If you could ask the people in just one of your classes if they felt like you do, you would be surprised with the number of yesses.

Hang in there, it'll be alright no matter what your GPA is :)

Answer 3

From my point of view on the other side of the counter in a high school library, I wonder how often I have seen this scene that you describe. Sometimes solutions seem so obvious to adults that are not clear to students. Can you turn that jealousy into a challenge to yourself to emulate some of her practices? Have you considered approaching her to see if you can study together? It is guaranteed you will not get through undergrad, let alone med school, without the benefits of a study group. Start now with this student you admire. You also do not know how well she is doing on her own. It is very likely she could use your perspective as much as you could use hers.

Turn that jealousy around into a benefit for you. Good luck!

I just read Little G's terrible advice to steal a book from the Library. In my school, we make arrangements for students to borrow books over the summer to work with tutors, etc. Stealing is completely unnecessary and her justification is pathetic. Just ask!

Answer 4

First of all, I'd like to emphasize that Physics is not important when you are studying medicine. I'm studying medicine, studying to become a doctor indeed.

Maybe it is important for the application. But after the preparatory course, you basically throw it away. After that, it's Biochemistry, Anatomy, Physiology, Pathological Physiology & Pathological Anatomy is what really matters. Of course, it's the clinical practise that's the most important.

However, jealousy...it's just a waste of time. And yeah, you are being silly and ridiculous to get jealous over things like that. The time you spend on being jealous is better off if you spent it on your work.

You say you wish to become a doctor, but you are not good in science. Well, if you are not good at it, keep working on it. Instead of wasting time thinking how you wish you could be like her, make full use of the time on reading scientific material! What's to be jealous about someone else doing physics homework in the library. You probably have too much leisure time to get jealous our things like that.

Get yourself busy, and you won't be jealous with anyone cuz you'd be too busy to be jealous. And when finally, your hard work pays off, you'll make someone else jealous. That's the time worth spent.

Getting what you want is what really matters, right?

Cheers, ok?

Answer 5

If you are willing and really determined you can amazing things. But 1st off, you are your own person. Your qualities, passions, thoughts are all your own and make you who you are. Don't trade in who you are to become someone else, but rather take some of the qualities that you admire in other people, and apply them to "your character".

*Thoughts produce actions, actions produce habits, habits produce character. You've already began thinking, now the next step is action...

Stop by the library. Librarians are always willing to give a helping hand. After school at my school, there were tutors in the library that stayed after to help anyone that was willing to ask for it. Open that science book, an amazing world of wonder awaits!

best wishes ; )

Answer 6

it is normal to get upset when failing and seeing others obtainng what you work for when you can not seem to do anything but fail.However you have options...why do you wish to go to Med School if you are bad at Science.What studies do you excel at and what high paying careers are there that would be better suited for you...do you really want a career path that would be a struggle for you?If so,know that Success can be the result of a series of failures,and it isn't easy to get to the top.focus your energies on your strengths,like when you are taking a test,skip the hard questions and do what you know,then come back to the hard stuff (like your science grades) or just marry a doctor or rich person...

Answer 7

Stop beating up on your self, and find a way,
try a tutor. Next time you see someone who is good ask them to help you, if your funds are low tell them you don't have a lot of money; but you are willing to pay something, you may be suprised of the help you may receive. you are not being weird, being a DR. is your dream, so the smallest things can manifest, because you are not following thru to your destiny. If you are not part of the problem you are part of the solution, even in your own life, therefore get out of your own way.
and don't forget to pray and ask GOD for his wisdom in science if you pray and ask GOD for his guidance your teacher may be asking for your guidance!

Answer 8

Jealousy is a waste of time.

If you want to be like her, do as she is doing. Get to the library. Study. Ask for a tutor. Practice. Give up your social events. Give up your friends. Spend your time focused on your goals.

You might want to start a conversation with her and ask what she has sacrificed to do well in science. You may not be as envious once you hear what the rest of her life is like.

Answer 9

No, you are not being reasonable. You can do anything you want to do, and that includes being good in sciences. You just have to apply yourself, and put in whatever work you have to, to get the job done. Instead of complaining, and wishing for it to be easier for you, just focus and get those books out.

Don't say you can't, because I know you can. Any body who really wants to do it can, if you can read and write.

Answer 10

Aspiration is one thing, Envy is the worse of the two. The difference is subtle. See what specifically you like about this girl. If it is something tangible aspire to be that. If it is something that you cannot achieve turn the jealousy into admiration. Envy and Jealousy lead to self-loathing. questioning your sense of reason is the false question. Its how you choose to handle the situation is where the real power resides