My girlfriend was going out with this guy that she new back in high school and wanted us to double date. I met a man that I thought was fabulous. He is smart, funny, spiritual, military, successful but still married. He and his wife have been living apart but sharing the house when the other has the kids. Semi cohabiting. The guy was very unhappy and wanted out of the bad situation. My girlfriend offered for him to stay with her. I said that I would like to offer my place but I didn't think with us just starting a relationship that was a smart choice. Needless to say that it was not working with him staying with her and now he and his two boys stay with me. I am getting really bad vibes that I am getting taken advantage of. I feel like a sucker. I feel so guilty telling him its not working out, that he needs to move. I have opened my heart and my door and I feel like I am dieing on the inside. This whole thing is moving way too fast. What should I do?
2007-05-16 14:45:47 · 8 answers · asked by snickernikki727 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to find his own place and space for himself and his kids. They are all going through a very emotional and trying time right now and it is not fair to drag you into this situation.
I would give him a month to find a place for himself that can accommodate his kids as well, but continue dating if that feels right.
However, although it is good to help someone, you went too far too fast with this. You can still be helpful by watching the boys while he finds a place for themselves!
2007-05-16 14:55:18 · answer #1 · answered by dedum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that just because things didn't work out with his wife doesn't mean he can just move in with you. He's got to get a divorce first and square his life up and build up his strength. Then he can think about starting a new relationship. If he doesn't, the one bad relationship will poison all others. What's more, he could get back with his wife and leave you with nothing. You can't know for sure until you actually see the divorce papers. Don't get pregnant. It's sad that what is supposed to be a new exciting romance is turning into a very draining experience. You could tell him that it's too soon for you to be their stepmom. So much pressure. I don't blame you.
2007-05-16 16:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop the relationship as soon as possible, no way should he have brought his two sons there with you at this stage of a relationship. There has to be a reason you feel taken advantage of, and if you feel that way then go with your gut feelings because they are usually 100 percent right. If he is trying to move this relationship way to fast then something isn't right. Don't cave to his talk of what he thinks you want to hear.
2007-05-16 15:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a grown man and HE IS taking advantage of you. How could you even let yourself get in a whacked out situation like that is beyond me. Listen carefully because you have two choices. Choice #1 Stop being a fool and tell him to let the door knob hit him where the good Lord split him or Choice#2 Sit there and keep letting him make a fool of you and be miserable. Those are you choices. I will keep you in my prayers. Peace and God bless.
2007-05-16 14:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Agee with the First Answer. I tell myself often that if I don't have any kids I should not have to put up with someone elses. I am only going to put up with my own if I ever decide to have any. You know I have been single for quite sometime for the single reason that I will not go out with anyone if they have kids.
2007-05-16 14:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by spee11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you told us, give him two weeks to find another place. And get him the heck out of dodge.
Next time: Dont date "separated" men. No Divorce? No deal.
2007-05-16 14:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him the truth that things are not working out...Why make yourself suffer? The sooner you tell him, the quicker he will leave.
2007-05-16 14:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away until he is divorced!
2007-05-16 15:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by Nothing but the truth...!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋