I am 8 months pregnant by someone who was seperated from his wife at the time and ran back to her when things got tough between us. Now she keeps harrassing me, emailing me and texting me that he's not going to have anything to do with the baby and is going to sign away his rights. I am under the impression that a PA state law requires someone else to adopt before this is permitted. However after searching for answers online I cant find the right ones. Is anyone familiar on how this is done, if it is ALLOWED to be done and what are some general laws and guidelines for this to take place. I am a single mother and there is no one but me to care for my child. He just wants out of the responsibilities of having a child that he made on a 'break up' with his wife (I was under the impression that he was DONE with her and no longer with her, however, he lied big time... fooled me) I do not agree to this taking place. Need some advice.
2007-05-16 14:27:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I'm in Pa also and tried to have my ex's rights taken away.My lawyer told me that Pa will not allow this unless there is someone to adopt the child,such as a new spouse.He said that the state would not make a child a "bastard".Terrible name,I know,but that is how he stated it to me.
Keep those emails that the wife is sending you,it may help when you take him for child support as it proves that he is aware he is the father.She has no right to be harassing you either.
He will probably be required to take a DNA test when you file,and as far as I know,you can list him as the father on the birth certificate.
He has to take responsibility for his child whether his wife likes it or not.
2007-05-16 17:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by Jan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He cannot sign his parental rights away in most states without someone else stepping into his shoes (i.e., an adoption), as the state needs someone to colelct from if you go on welfare. You can collect child support and the local child support office should help you establish paternity. Some states you can even start collecting support BEFORE the baby is born (like California) so go talk to them ASAP. They can also tell you about the laws re: paternity. Below is their website and acouple others. They even have a calculator online to figure out how much he may have to pay you. This may give you some piece of mind.
2007-05-16 14:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by gauchogirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im going to have to agree to save the e-mails and all the harrasments from his wife. I would understand that you are a single mother, however, in my personal opinion, I think he was wrong to do that. He shouldn't have played you like that. He should've told you, "I've still got feelings for my wife." Yet he didn't, most men have atleast a mind of their own.
For example, I called my bf (ex now) and found out that he was with his ex that he had feelings for. Even though that was totally out of context, I know the feeling of being burned. YOU personally should tell him the results as soon as you find out the results and let his wife know what happened during their time away from each other. Maybe she'll get a grip on the situation. She has no right to harrass you! Stand up for the child, because of the bond, that 9 month bond will grow and you won't want to let that child go! All I can say is go to the government, get that test, tell him and his wife, get this straignted out! If you feel like you should give the child up, then thats your personal option to do. Don't let the government take that away from you. Do what you need to do girl! Stand up for what you think!
2007-05-16 14:42:37 · answer #3 · answered by rtartt2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the reality is, even though he is the father, and you aren't married, unless he acknowledges paternity in writing, the fathers name will remain blank on the child's birth certificate!
Once you go on any public assistance the Bureau of Child Support will obtain DNA testing and have a support order entered. Of course they keep it all, or reduce your assistance, until you no longer receive benefits! In my state their are guidelines. For 1 child it is 25% of his net income!
I think you learned a valuable lesson the hard way. I feel sorry for his wife. Nah, she took him back! She deserves him!
PS: He can't relinquish what he doesn't have, and once paternity is established and a child support order entered, the state will not go along with a relinquishment! And you don't have to either! They no longer are able to get away with what was once very common!
You might have to push support a little as they are generally overloaded, but establishing paternity and child support is what they do every day! If you want it established, that would be the best time for you as you won't have to deal with much of the issue!
My state goes after dead beat dads, and usually finds them, arrests them, and brings them to court if they aren't paying. Next time is a trip to jail!
2007-05-16 14:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by cantcu 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most states will not allow the signing away of rights unless an adoption is established. In some states, signing away rights doesn't necessarily get rid of their financial responsibility. Make him/his wife do the leg work if they think they will get out of it. When the baby is born, you go and get support established! I don't care if he ran back to his wife, he is financially responsible for the child. Don't let him off easy. Your state child support enforcement offices can assist you in getting paternity testing done and support established. If you are receiving state assistance for the birth/baby they will begin the process automatically.
Good luck!
2007-05-16 14:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jill R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once you can prove paternity, he can sign anything he wants but, he still must take responsibility and abide by a courts ruling. Some States do not require an attorney for family court, so don't spend any money unless it is necessary.
Keep all correspondence for court too. Judges hate it when "outsiders" interfere in parental cases and threaten others.
2007-05-16 14:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by RobDog 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can TRY to sign them away, and can even sign a paper doing so, however he's still legally responsible for child support.
Only a court could allow him to not pay support, and there not going to do that unless there's some very good reason not to.
2007-05-16 14:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by caffeyw 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you have to establish paternity. You do that by filing papers at the courthouse the day after the baby is born. When it comes back as his, he will be ordered to pay child support. He will then have to petition to sign away his rights.
In most jurisdictions, both parties have to agree to it. He can't just walk away, or no one would pay child support.
Tell his wife that she's venting at the wrong person. Just because you have loose morals and are only now finding out how babies are made, it was still her husband that left her and banged the first tart he could find.
2007-05-16 14:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
He can sign away his RIGHTS, but not his RESPONSIBILITIES. You will probably need a DNA test to prove he is the father in order to get child support. Saving the e-mails from the wife may help your get a court order for the test.
2007-05-16 14:32:42 · answer #9 · answered by STEVEN F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
my dad did...when i was little...he just got a attorney and signed them away...im in tx though in some states in might be different..oh as for child support good luck with that...there arent very strong laws for getting child support..if he dosent work..you dont get any...i got $16 a month..you really have to fight it but like i said if he has no job...you will never see that child support..
2007-05-16 14:33:33 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋