l figured out out my husbands password and read his e-mail. he was furious and said that l violated his privacy. was l wrong?
2007-05-16 14:09:53 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yep. sorry, but you were.
some people may say if he had nothing to hide, then whats the problem, but thats bull. everyone has the right to have some of their lives just to themselves.
But its ok. Say you werent really thinking and now you realise it was wrong, and wont do it again.
but is there a bigger issue? a reason you opened it? do you think he's cheating? cos then you got bigger probs..
2007-05-16 14:17:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes...you were. In marriage there has to be trust. What would have made you do this? Was there something that spurred this or are you just insecure and nosy?
Or...my next question is why do you have seperate e-mail accounts? Or better yet...why does he?
Whether he was doing wrong or not. This was not the way to go about this. I know that it's an excercise in futility to even ask if you discussed this at length prior. As to why he has a passworded e-mail address.
So...what's the real scoop? Why did you do it?. What motivated you? You've provided us with little clues. More information can only help to lead to a solution to your answer. Of course...if you don't answer...you don't really care to solve you're problem
2007-05-16 14:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, it sounds like a question of trust and believe me, all of us who is married or has ever been married, have come across similar questions. The truth is: if there is trust in your marriage, you will not feel bothered by his e-mailing "routine", and he will not care if you see his accounts and pals or not. According to your desription, neither one of you displays trust in this situation. The worst is that distrust is like a snow ball: one of you displays it and the other one immediately responds with mutual distrust, and it keeps rolling. Unfortunately, the process is natural. What to do? Speaking from my own marriage experience: you have to come out and speak openly about it once (but nicely and freindly, not ugly) explaining clearly what problem you have with it and why. If your husband loves you and has nothing to hide, he might be surprised and irritated by it, but will still cooperate and help you feel better. If he becomes absolutely defensive and keeps insisting on hiding his own stuff, you might have a reason to worry. Hope it helps...
2016-05-20 15:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I have nothing to hide from my wife, unless I am planning something for her. She can read my e-mail, I have nothing to hide.
However, to "figure out" a password and go into his e-mail seems to breech etiquette. It would be worthy of an apology. Perhaps pre-emptive communication could have avoided all this.
If you feel uncomfortable with him keeping his affairs so private, tell him. Ask him what sort of stuff he writes and who he writes to. If need be, ask him if you can read some of it. If he insists on keeping it private, ask why. If he remains secretive, be honest and tell him that you don't feel trusted and your trust in him is minimal. But, once you get satisfaction, don't push the issue anymore.
2007-05-16 14:30:28 · answer #4 · answered by TroothBTold 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not one to condone invading anyones privacy unless you have a really good reason. If a spouse is suspicious that her significant other is having an affair i would consider that an exception however if your just being nosy then no. It's not right to look at someone else's email. How would you feel if he was doing that to you? My guess is you would be furious. If you intend to have a good relationship you have to be able to trust the other person unless their actions dictate otherwise. I think you have a lot of making up to do to rebuild that trust.
2007-05-16 14:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by Orion 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well--you shouldn't have done this--some things are considering crossing the line of "trust." My husband and I share our email account, so we can see each others mail. We don't have anything to hide, but I can see where it could make someone upset. Everything in life is centered around "respect"--you reap what you sow.
2007-05-16 14:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by MicG 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it was wrong of you... It shows you don't trust your husband enough and that you are insecure with his love for you.
However, frankly, on few occasions I am also very tempted to check out my husband's private stuff like email, bank account transactions and open his mails out of curiousity but I know it ain't right and that I have to trust him whole hearted...
2007-05-16 14:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by Mint_Always 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There should be no secrets in marriage. It's a kiss of death. Privacy is for those who have something to hide. My husband and I share everything and hide nothing. If you want a long and faithful marriage, wouldn't honesty be a place to start!!
2007-05-16 14:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes it's wrong.....do you open his mail that comes via the post office? actually it's worse than opening mail that comes via the post office, you had to be sneaky enough to figure out his password.....you should be ashamed......you did violate his privacy, you should have just asked him.....he shouldn't be keeping secret emails either, but that is besides the point
2007-05-16 14:13:29 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't unless he asks me to check it for him, which he has asked before. It is just common courtesy. I have nothing to hide from him, but would like him to ask me before going through my stuff. Sometimes I read over his shoulder though, and that bugs him a bit :)
2007-05-16 16:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by **0_o** 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋