now i do have more money than him and could pay it off. But the "debt" is mostly from "wineing and dining" an old gf that he left his wife for.Plus "guilt money" from the divorce when he left his wife for this old gf.He gave his exwife all his bank accounts which left him with nothing and he had to start over.So i feel this was not from like a hospital bill so he should pay it off as i had nothing to do with it too.was i wrong to say no?
2007-05-16 13:31:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your not wrong at all and this would be a red flag to me that something is wrong in the relationship. If he chose to do this then no way should he expect you pay any of his old bills. No matter what they are. If you start that he will use you and when he gets tired or you can't do for him he will have no use for you. Beware anytime a man or woman ask you this type of question and when you say no, they treat you different, that is not love, but greed.
2007-05-16 13:39:57 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO! and Keep saying no! How dare he, a man ask you a woman to pay that kind of money for his past mistakes! 21K is not being cheap thats being naive if you pay. He needs to get his life back on track and stop trying to put that burden on you. Or get his life together before he try to share it with another. I bet you he's not going anywhere because it seems like you already do alot for him, because he had the nerve to ask such a question. No other woman would take that. He sounds like my ex, he's in debt 50,000 except he ignores it. He's very irresponsible with money and feels like I should just spend mine. He don't realize he will never have anything in life if he continues like that. BAD Credit, TAXES, etc. Too bad for him I did alot for him but not any more. Good Luck, and be strong
2007-05-16 13:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by Smile 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest....break off, quick! He's not worth it, certainly you deserve a better man! As in ur explaination, all the debts are from his previous commitment/relationship! So it's got nothing to do with u! Maybe that's one of the reason why he wants u to be his fiance, to settle his debts! My hunch says that he is not honest. So honey, no other way out, leave him!!! He is nothing but trouble 4 you (based on ur story).
2007-05-16 14:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by ni2penang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he is just using you for your money! I wouldn't even marry him! Traditionally, the guy is supposed to take care of the woman, but in today's world its not like that anymore. But it is still a far cry from a woman taking care of a man....it should be equal! The other poster hit it on the head, he should be EMBARRASSED for asking you. 1) he should not be treating you bad because of it and 2) he asked you to pay it off, not to help, but to pay it off. That is rediculous. And from his past, I would be cautious. I have not met ONE person, male or female, who has left their husband/wife for another and it wasnt a pattern! Good luck, but I wouldnt marry him.
2007-05-16 13:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say no and keep saying no. This is a huge red flag with this guy if he could ask such a thing. You aren't his keeper or his way out of financial debt. This won't be the end of this. If you marry him, you will probably always have to bail him.
2007-05-16 14:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you marry someone who has a lot of debts? they seemed to came from failed relationships. why would you consider even paying it for him. yes you did the right thing by telling him no. he needs to grow up and take responsibility for what he has been and will be doing. it was an insult for him even asking you to pay off his debts. he sounds like a real loser who will probably leave you once the debt is paid.you can do good all by yourself. lose him.
2007-05-16 13:48:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's been treating you like this for a few days, give him time. His feelings are hurt and his ego is probably a bit sore. If this has gone on for more than a month you probably need to reevaluate your relationship with him. When you say yes at the wedding you take on his financial problems.
2007-05-16 13:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't pay it until you get married. Once you're married, his debt is your debt. Until then, however, his debt is his and his alone. If you pay it for him and then for some reason you don't get married, you cannot legally sue him for that money because it was considered a gift. Please do not pay off this man's debt until you're married and you can consolidate it all into one big pile of debt to attack.
2007-05-16 13:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by adpisororitygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not, but you are going to be wrong marring him. It don't sound like you are ready to be married yet. You may want to do some real soul searching before marry this guy.
2007-05-16 13:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by Dance 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HI.....
DO NOT pay off this bill or any of the guy's other bills.. he can pay them himself...
his bills are not your responsibility... and what kind of MAN would ask a woman to pay off his bills, anyway? perhaps he's out to use you, or maybe he has absolutely no self respect.
i can't imagine that he's treating you as if you are cheap. he should be EMBARRASSED AS HELL for asking in the first place.
are you actually going to continue this relationship? he's dead weight.
2007-05-16 13:37:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋