I feel really greedy with my 3 week old baby I don't want anyone else taking care of him or doing things for him. My in laws are ALWAYS taking him feeding him changing his diaper and act is if I'm not even in the room!!! I know they just love him and want to help but he's my son I want to hold him feed him etc! How can I relax? I wish me my baby and husband could run away until the baby was older! (This is my first child)
2007-05-16 13:21:50 · 12 answers · asked by KristynRuth 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It is a completely natural feeling, I didnt let anyone hold her the first day that she was born and I felt like I was screaming inside while other held her for the first few months.
I think you are completely right to feel this way and even though they mean well, it is completely rude of your in-laws to be doing anything but walking on eggshells around you.
You are the one who gave birth to him, and you are his mother. You deserve the rest of your life to hold him, but it doesnt mean that you should share the precious first days of his life.
Talk to your husband! It is his family, and he should absolutely tell them to back off!!!
It is also an instinct of nature, when your child cries, your body releases a stress hormone.
You should be allowed this time to bond with your child in peace, with minimal visitors and unwanted advice.
You do not need to relax, follow your instincts, take your baby back and let them look at him while YOU hold him!!!!!
You are NOT selfish or greedy, but ABSOLUTELY right to feel the way you do!!!
CONGRATULATIONS~!
2007-05-16 14:19:05 · answer #1 · answered by Pro_Dog_Trainer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you sound just like I was, with all my kids, never mind my first child. Does it bother you when anyone helps out with the baby, or is it just your in laws? I know I was worse with my in laws than my own family.... me it was more a control freak thing, I felt like they weren't feeding my son right, I could do it better, etc. Anyways, just know its all normal feelings. As he gets older, you will relax more about it. In the meantime, cut yourself some slack - he's only 3 weeks old, you should be feeling like this, very protective, and don't be afraid to politely tell your in laws "I'm all set, I'm happy to do it", when they try to take him for a feeding or diaper change. It may help them back off a little bit. Good luck!
2007-05-16 21:17:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very natural that you are having such feelings about your new baby. You have that wonderful maternal instinct to protect him. However, it is important to include grandparents and other family members in your baby's life also. If you have a close relationship with them, let them know gently that you are nervous. A good idea might be to go and take some time for yourself while they are holding the baby. You know, take a soothing bath, a nap, get out of the house for a few minutes! Take the chance to do something for yourself and it will payoff later! Bless you and your new baby!
2007-05-16 20:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by heart4sons 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you sound extremely stressed out......you need to try to relax and yes you're right, they 're just trying to help ......You get to feed/hold etc the baby 24/7 for the rest of your life.....a few minutes for someone else to help care for him is not asking too much. YOu're just a new mom and are very protective of your son which is no problem, but do allow other close family members to enjoy their few minutes with your son to feed or change him...babys don't stay babys for long.....Just know he's in good hands and he's Yours Forever* Be Proud of that...not obsessive of that*~
2007-05-16 20:26:43 · answer #4 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you wont, not right now. It is very normal to have this "greed" if thats what you want to call it. you are still physically, and emotionally attached with the child.
Good news though, this will pass, slowly over time. and in 2 years you will beg someone to take him away for a few hours a day.
good luck with the new baby
2007-05-16 20:27:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds really natural to me, after all you are the one that put in all the hard work so far just growing him and giving birth to him. I'm sure they mean well, I guess just try to keep thinking about the things you were saying like, they mean well, and they just love him to help you relax more about it all. But, if it really bothers you, just don't have them over as much, or maybe find a polite way to tell them that you prefer to take care of him, but you appreciate the help. Either way, I hope it works out, congratulations to you, by the way!
2007-05-16 20:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by ValkyrieSpice 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i know your feeling
i didnt let anyone except my husband even watch my child for 6 months
tell them to back off in a nice way thats what i did
my husbands mother i wouldnt even let her watch my baby for the first year
and she is nt a horrible person i just dont like her i let her see the child just dont let her babysit
my parents only baby sit maybe once every 3 months
its just how u feel n there is no way to get over it
it might get beter when your child can start talkin
u arent horrible and u dont need to get over it
ur the mom its how u feel and they will eventually understand just be nice when u tell them hands off :)
2007-05-16 20:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by Tink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO HELP YOU OUT WITH YOUR NEW BABY, it is very DIFFICULT having a baby and NOT having any help, you really need to think about how you feel. I know you are anxious to be with your baby, but your baby is with you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. enjoy your help while you have it. And if it really bothers you then speak up (they may be offended tho) they dont HAVE to help u, u r blessed to have a supportive family cuz some families dont give a ****.
2007-05-16 20:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by babiilove101 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
haha I was the same way when my daughter was born, I didnt want anyone touching her. You just have to relax and welcome the help, when they get alittle older sometimes the help is not there and you are wishing that it was. I know its hard but when they are doing that relax and enjoy being a mom :) He knows you are his mom and that will never change :)
2007-05-16 20:27:18 · answer #9 · answered by momof2girls and now a boy :) 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes i know how you feel i was like that with my first son. and belive me it wasn't easy but i just know that i'm going to have him every day and there just going to have him for a few minutes. So why stress it if you know that's YOUR son...you need some sleep...lol=]
2007-05-16 20:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋