Male friends girlfriends is it something Im doing ? saying ? Or is it just my fate to continue along all alone? Because Id rather be alone than a door mat for others
2007-05-16 12:24:23 · 8 answers · asked by Rick 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I dont allow people to walk over me its just they start complaining about their problem and at first I dont offer help nor do they ask then it goes on and on and on and on finally I deal with for them then when I need help like moving something or being taken to hospital or airport they (all)have better thing to do
2007-05-16 12:37:03 · update #1
Because you let them be. So from now on, learn to be strong and don't let other people use you.
2007-05-16 12:32:31 · answer #1 · answered by lyt10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, know what you are saying. I have a tendency to allow others to use me but am getting better. I like helping people, but before I knew what had happened I'd let people suck me dry. I always said yes to favours, even when they inconvenienced me. I was a shoulder to cry on, I loaned money knowing I'd probably never see it again...
And then I'd get mad at myself for allowing these things to happen, I only wanted to see the good in people.
I do things a little differently now. If I can help someone, non emergency, and it does not completely destroy my plans then I will help. Otherwise I can now say, sorry but I've got other plans. I'm being nice to me.
I also read people a little differently. If I meet someone and we hit it off and start, saying phoning each other on a regular basis, I now take note whether they are calling for a favour, are bored and could think of no one else to call, or if they just called to see what's up. If the request are constant, or they've nothing better to do...well I recognize I may well be being used.
I might try asking for a small favour once or twice and if they are quickly refused, chances are this person has nothing to offer me in the way of the type of friendships I want, so I just back off. Life's too short for one sided friendships, I'd rather be alone as well.
2007-05-16 19:41:40 · answer #2 · answered by Choqs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your letting people use you. You need to be tougher(maybe need a little more confidence). If someone asks something of you you don't want to do say no. It's okay anyone that really cares for you will not stop liking you just because you will not do things for them. You need to set the standard of how people treat you. With friends and more importantly in relationships. Demand respect and you will get it. And be admired for being so confident!!
2007-05-16 19:32:24 · answer #3 · answered by Nicolleta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had many friends that fall into this trap. My simple answer is you may be co-dependant and you probably allow people to treat you this way. Stop being the hero and focus on yourself. Friendship is a two-way street, so make sure you're getting something out of the relationship.
2007-05-16 19:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by JMoney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With self love and acceptance comes a whole new world. You will attract those who are similar.
When you give, you give freely. With a smile on your face. You never expect back. If you expect, you will inevitably be disappointed. The course of receiving is not always to be obligated to give back. That would destroy the whole purpose of giving.
Loving yourself is much different from self-centeredness. It's about taking in love and giving it out freely.
2007-05-16 19:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is what you allow. i don't lend or borrow. so there is no room for mistakes. no hurt feelings due to someone not paying you back. the choice is up to you. do the right thing. or be a doormat.
2007-05-16 19:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by REALLY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quick and to the point... they can only do to you what you allow them to. You don't deserve that honey,... move on.
2007-05-16 20:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by cameraspaz2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hypotherapy
2007-05-16 19:27:12 · answer #8 · answered by lushpoppy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋