My husband's ex girlfriend called our house out of the blue to put my husband on 'standby' because her mother was on hospice and was given 2 weeks. A mutual friend of theirs gave her our number. The problem I'm having is him and her haven't been together for 13 years and as far as I know they haven't spoken to each other or seen each other since, except for another mutual friend's funeral about 4 years back. My husband wants to go. I guess I'm not understanding why because of the length of time that has passed, let alone the fact that they aren't really friends either. Additionally, during the time that they were together (total of 4 years), the mother didn't approve of the relationship because of the different backgrounds, although she was nice to him in person. Also, being that I'm his wife, why am I not going. You don't go to weddings alone, why would you go to funerals alone. I feel bad about the loss, I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I just don't understand the need.
2007-05-16 12:06:59 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a past relationship (way past), and he's married now. He should not go.
If he insists on going, by all means, go with him!!!
2007-05-16 12:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by jonesk_92656 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
She lied about dying? That's actually impossible. You can not lie and say you are dead, and if you believed it when she told you then you're not very bright. LOL As for this, he has every right to go, if for nothing else to support his son who just lost his grandmother. You are way to insecure if you're thinking more of him getting back with his ex than the fact this is a funeral.
2016-05-20 15:06:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is his past I think it not appropriate for her to ask him to come to the funeral or even to be contacting him. I think you need to tell your husband that you do not feel comfortable with him going to this funeral. He can send some flowers or just a card expressing his condolences for her loss but really you are his wife and his ex is his ex period!. I think it may be possible that this could be a way to get him close so he can sleep with her?.
Tell him if he wants to go so bad that you are going too. You are his wife if he is going to go then tag along atleast then he has no temptation to screw around on you with the Ex.
2007-05-16 12:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-24 14:16:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is going out of respect for the family. I have been married for 17 yrs and last year I went to the funeral of the mother of my highschool sweetheart. We dated over 20 yrs ago, and I have not spoken to my ex since before I got married, but I felt I needed to go to pay my respects. I told my husband and he had no problems with it. I think you should be understanding and let it drop.
2007-05-16 12:16:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
He has no business going to this funeral. Considering the history of the relationship he had with his ex's mother. you should ask him to give you a valid reason as to why he wants to be there.
2007-05-16 12:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by M-26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand it, either; however, to avoid a big fight and lots of drama, just give him the freedom and choice to go to the funeral.
i see you're not trying to be insensitive...
sometimes people feel the need to pay their respects, even to people who didn't like them?
hopefully, attending the funeral will be the end of communications between him and the ex girlfriend.
also, i don't know why YOU aren't asked to go. i probably would not want to attend... (but that's just me)
2007-05-16 12:26:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it means anything at all to your husband, the both of you could go and pay your respects by going to the viewing and signing the condolence book as husband and wife. Of course, if it doesn't mean anything to him, he shouldn't bother at all. Since they haven't seen one another or had contact, she shouldn't have any hard feelings towards him.
2007-05-16 13:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go without a fuss. She wasn't thinking clearly when she asked him because she is hurting, and he wants to go because they were together a long time. He's thinking - If you go, it will just make it awkward for her and you will feel like an interloper.
If you have a strong marriage, this won't threaten it. If there is a crack, and this concerns you, talk to him about it and tell him how you feel.
2007-05-16 12:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by Buffy Summers 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I first read your question I thought Of course he should go, but after reading the details, something sounds wierd. If they have not spoken in that long, I don't see why he would go. Are you absolutely positive they have not been keeping in touch? Not that they are having an affair or anything, but maybe he stayed in touch with her and thought you would get upset. I find it really strange that he would go.
2007-05-16 12:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
im sorry im not agreeing with the answers this is way in the past and if your husband has any respect for you he will take you along and introduce you to his past girlfriend if my husband went to his exs mothers funeral i wouldnt like it but thats my opinion gl and tell him how you feel gl
2007-05-16 12:36:17 · answer #11 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋