My husband gave me a maximum weight?

Question

My husband told me if my weight ever exceeded 140 pounds he would divorce me. I am now 5' 4" and 132 pounds. I try to eat healthy and work out. Why would he say this?

My husband has all ways been really into appearances, but I thought our marriage was important to him than that.

Answer 1

I was married to a man who constantly made comments about weight, what I was eating, etc. after I had our son. He is a very shallow person. We divorced when my son was 14 years old. During the time I was single I ONLY dated men who didn't care one way or the other what my size was, they cared about ME and not my weight. I married a man who loves me for me, and if I'm thin, or if I'm fat, he will still be there and love me. I couldn't never have lived with another man who watched me like a hawk when it came to food and my size. My only solace in all of this is that my ex got fat as he got older lol.

Don't let someone dictate your weight, he should love you regardless. That doesn't mean you have to let yourself go on purpose, but he should love you regardless of your size.

Answer 2

Oh dear.

I too am 5'4". I got up to 237 pounds and all my hubby said was "Your boobs have never been bigger!"
Since then I got gastric bypass surgery and now weigh 120. I look and feel fabulous.
You haven't chosen well as far as husbands go, I am afraid.
You cannot change him.
You can only change yourself- but if you aren't dedicated to why you are a little curvy- and I do mean A LITTLE- any effort you do to lose weight won't work. He is only making it harder for you with his threats of divorcing you if you fail to live up to his weight restrictions.
You could always stoop to his level and give HIM an ultimatum- like get a bigger d.ick, a better job, more muscles, etc., but that seems beneath you.
Be who you are and let him leave if he wants. You'd be better off without him if he actually behaves this way.
Good Luck!

Oh, and buy some super sexy lengerie that YOU feel sexy in and make him dinner in it when you two are alone. If he says anything bad about your appearance, take it off and no nookie for him that night! hehehe

Answer 3

Uhh....what......does he put you on the scale once a week and check?!
Gimme a break. Tell him, "go ahead, divorce me you imbecile."
The way I see it is that you cannot let him control you. By you simply worrying about it, he's controlling you. You said yourself you work out and eat healthy. That said, you are doing what you can and not neglecting how you look. While I think everyone has an obligation to their spouse to take care of themselves and how they look, giving a weight limit is ridiculous. Some women look fat at 120 pounds, and some look thin at 160! Weight is a number.
Don't let him say, "jump" and then ask him how high. If he wants to control "himself" by divorcing you, then you go ahead and let him. Don't start doing backflips just because he's asking.

Answer 4

He is a jerk!!!! I am sorry but love is unconditional it should'nt matter how much you weigh and I would not put a stipulation on my weight. Let me tell you my husband knows better than to even mention my weight to me..:0) - Your weight is such a small part of who you are and it should not even be brought up in conversatoin. I could see if you were like 500pds and having health problems but your not... Dont let him bring you down... and remember there is always someone else out there who would accept you for you and love you the way you deserved to be loved. Keep your Head up

Answer 5

It would help if you gave more details like what his physique is like. If he is a fat slob telling you this, this means something very different than if he ia an adonis telling you this....but I will take a shot in the dark.....

In his mind he sees letting your self go as a form of disrespect towards him. To him it communicates that you no longer care enough to make yourself attracted to him... When people first date, they make more of an effort to make themselves attractive to their SO. As the years go by, people somethings take their SO for granted. An acquaintance of mine from Spain will actually chastises her friends if she thinks they getting too heavy for their husbands (she lets men's weight slide, lol)... She sees this as disrespecting their husbands, she is highly educated makes 6-figures, but was raised by old-school parents... At 5'4" 120 lbs is a nice weight and you will be at your peak attractiveness. You will still have an attractive body at 132 lbs. He is not being very tactful but I think that is where he is coming from....

I know all the Oprah-watching-cackling-hens on Yahoo will say your husband is a bad guy and maybe they are right...or NOT. But bottom line he values your phyical attractiveness and he is fearful you no longer wish to make yourself attracted to him...

Answer 6

I think he is being unreasonalble. A Jerk, too controlling, and a PIG.......140 for you is the adverage and not fat at all.......Women's bodies change as we get older. We tend to start to put on weight as we hit pre-menopose. All women put on weight no matter what we do, or how healthy we are. Its just a fact of live....
It sounds like hubby needs to be snaped back into reality. Men even put on weight and start to get a gut as they get older. Show him some Pictures of real women not those supper skinny models..
For your shake I would start putting away some money where he cant get to it.... Start to write down what he says that it mean and hurtful.
Good Luck to you ........

Answer 7

Sounds like he wants a power trip to me. He knows this is bothering you and he is controlling you in this way. You aren't even fat! If you ever choose to loose weight, do it for the right reasons, yourself and your health. Don't do it to satisfy him.

Honey, he's the one with the issues, not you. I don't know if you want to divorce him or anything, but I would sure think twice about why I'm with someone that says things so hurtful and only seems to love me conditionally. Have you considered marriage counseling, or seeing someone yourself (you need all the self-esteem you can get married to this one!).

Answer 8

Your husband should love you no matter what your weight is. Sounds like he's shallow and controling to me. He's suppost to build you up and make you feel secure in your relationship. We all want to look nice for our husband/wife but that's something we do on our own and not hang something over someones elses head like >>> I'm going to divorce if you cut your hair or go over 140 lbs. My ex husband told me one time years ago that if I got another tattoo he was going to divorce me, guess what I did that very weekend??? I got two more and I love them. I divorced him when he cheated on me.
And for the record,,, I don't have great big ugly tattoos all over my chest face and arms, they are small and pretty,,, and my new husband loves them!!!

Answer 9

Because he is a jerk. Listen as long as your doctor says you are healthy and you are active and eating healthy then your husband shouldn't be hounding you about your weight. Does he weigh you? I don't know what advise to give you except you do what is right for you, and I would think long and hard before having any children with this man.

Answer 10

What's good for the goose is good for the gander: if he can give you a weight limit, you can do the same to him. Find a chart online and see what it says his max weight can be accorinding to his height and tell him he can't go over or you will divorce him.

Answer 11

My ex used to do that to me too....even while pregnant he said he'd leave if I hit 150 ( and I'm 5'7!) Notice I said he was my ex! That kind of control and conditional love is not acceptable to me at all! The funny thing was that he always said he wanted me to be 115 and a redhead. Well after I dumped his sorry butt I ended up being 115 and dyed my hair red. Man that was GREAT revenge! (and it helped me catch a great guy who could care less what my weight or hair color is!)
I say don't worry about your weight just to please him. If you are being healthy and trying to stay in shape and look good then that's all you can do anyway.
Good luck!...cause with a guy that acts like that you are certainly going to need it!