My husband has admitted he cheated and has tried everything within his power to gain my trust again. He has now begun a "freindship" with another woman. How do I get past all of the hurt and resentment.
2007-05-16 10:26:38 · 46 answers · asked by First L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been there done that. Only time can heal alot of time in this case. If he got away with it once belive he will do it
again. Take it from me I left after 10 years of unfaithfulness
I am so glad I did! Good luck . The pain is always there.
It just fades with time.
2007-05-16 10:35:33 · answer #1 · answered by klaudia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-31 14:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so hard to answer that question. Counseling is the only thing I can say... With his history I'm surprised that he would form a friendship another woman seeing the circumstances of the past, He's really not doing everything in his power to earn your trust seeing that he's making friends with another woman. When people are married, there friends are friends of both of you. Married people should not make friends with people of the opposite sex,,, hanging out, going to a friendly lunch, meeting for dinner, etc. That's how affairs start. And the fact that he gave you herpes is a issue all by it self. Every time you get a out break the fact of him cheating will be stuck in the back of your mind... If he insist on being friends with other women then you might want to think about see a lawyer. He could bring home AIDS next time...
2007-05-16 10:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by Flying w/ scissors 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to realize that herpes is not the end of the world. Grab a hold to what God has delt you and grow from it. Secondly, you must learn to trust yourself. Believe that you are still the best women in the world and that no body can ever treat him the way you do. Obviously who ever he cheated with was not worth changing his life for. You must learn how to love him for the man that you fell in love with, the man that was able to admit his faults to you, and also the man that he is trying to be now for YOU. Like the coined phrase "kill them with kindness", love him even the more for is wrong doings. That is the true meaning of unconditional love. Also, I recommend, that you make yourself his best friend. Become interested in things that he likes and discuss them with him. Gain all of his attention, leaving no room for others. Most of all, know that you are doing nothing wrong by hurting. It is a pain that last seemingly a lifetime and that you did not bring upon yourself. It takes time to heal and don't think that it will happen overnight. Open yourself up to forgive. Look only to the future and not to the things that have happened in the past. Build your bridge on a steady foundation. Most importantly "look to the hills which cometh your help", and "lean it on an everlasting love". Trust only in the Lord and believe that he will not fail you. This is coming from someone in the same situation. I have both HIV and Genitle Herpes. Be strong. If no one else has told you that they love, know that God loves you and so do I. Be strong. God Bless You!!!
2007-05-16 11:07:35 · answer #4 · answered by lamonteford@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand that your husband cheat on you and gave you STD. I would forgive him under certain circumstances. he admited to you that he cheat that a man. No one want to admitt that they cheat give him a second chance because he might learn from his mistake. You know the love you guys share and what your relationship is coming from if you see where he is trying to improve you can give him a second chance. I know that it could be aids or HIV but remember people will say he was having unprotected sex but remember condom can burst and he get infected. I know what it feels like when your in a relationship and you cant trust your partner because the minute he walks out the door you start to think that he going to have sex with another woman. But if you want to give him a second chance i think both of you should pray about the matter or go to counseling to talk it over. you can get help there. Think before you act. good luck my sister make a decision soon but make it fear and one you can live with
2007-05-16 10:43:11 · answer #5 · answered by foodie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you want to stay with him, the only way you can get past all those feelings is if he helps you. He has to put in 100% effort into gaining your trust back. If he doesn't try, then it wont happen. you cant do this on your own. Unless you leave him, then you can forget this terrible event. Speaking from experience, its best to leave him. You said he has this 'friendship' with another woman and that, my friend, doesnt sound like he's trying too hard to fix what he did in the past. You deserve better.
2007-05-16 10:40:41 · answer #6 · answered by h2gj87 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't get past all the hurt and resentment. No matter what happens, you will always have doubts. Your life is changed forever. Your relationship with him will never be the same. If you stay with him, you will both have to realize that your relationship will be different in many ways. It is possible to grow stronger together, but no matter what it still will never be like it was before. Chances are high though that he is not trustworthy. It's up to you to make that decision.
2007-05-16 11:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has yet another new friendship with another woman, he isn't really sorry is he? And he gave you an incurable STD to boot. I honestly believe in trying to forgive the first time if your husband is truly repentant and willing to go to couples therapy and be completely open and honest with you from here on out. However, your husband seems unable to be sorry enough to change. I think you can't get past this, and I think you would be crazy to sleep with him ever again while he's still forming new relationships with other women.
2007-05-16 10:37:39 · answer #8 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for you but it sounds to me like you cant trust him...and if the herpes part is true why would you want to?
also did he admit to cheating on you before or after you discovered you had an STD? if it was after well I don't think that makes him Honorable for telling you he told you cause he got caught....
2007-05-16 10:44:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's something he must try to get back.....He should be the one working hard on regaining your trust......It's seems like building a:"freindship" with another woman is more important than the respect he has for you.....I think you really need to sort out your feelings and decide if you truly want to live your life like this.....It's not healthy nor is it derserving for you neither...
I really wish you the best...
2007-05-16 11:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋