I am a 31.. wonderful hard working husband. We live an above average lifestyle. I look nice on the outside but am so ugly on the inside. I lie when it benefits me, you would think I am the nicest person and best friend you've ever had. But I am not a nice person, I lie, steal, cheat, use drugs and do what is good for me. How can I be honest with myself and get help. I know I deserve a million slams for this post but I need honest feedback, not cruel.
2007-05-16 10:16:28 · 26 answers · asked by C S 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I would suggest going to church. Might sound trite, but it's the best place to start in establishing your own moral compass.
2007-05-16 10:22:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The question is why you are doing what you are doing and if you honestly want to change. You realize that there is something very wrong with you and it bothers you or at least I hope it does. Ask yourself how your behaviour affects you and your family. You know it cannot last and will blow up in your face one day. You don't deserve a million slams for posting this question, it may be your cry for help (if it is sincere). This forum is not really a solution for your problems but maybe I could suggest some possible solutions. First you could try some self help books on human behaviour and figure out what applies to you. Human behaviour patterns are not very original, there were people like you before. Psychologists have most of it sorted out. A lot of books are written for lay people and are real eye openers. Once you begin to understand yourself your undesirable behaviour might be easier to change.
The other option is some psychological counselling. Since you are financially comfortable find a therapist in your area. I hope that you can deal with your problems so you can be happy with yourself. Good luck!
2007-05-16 17:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have started yourself on the proper path by admitting that you are an a s s.
When people look at you, they see a person who has a great life, but it is all material. Who doesn't lie in business when it is going to benefit them to get ahead? But in your personal life, that is a different story. You need to be honest with your family, and especially your wife or it could result in divorce. Stealing, cheating (do you mean extra-marital) and drugs is all steps that you need to first stop yourself. You recogonized that you have several issues and now you need to open up and tell your story to a professional.
Stealing, if you are doing it from your employer than you should be more careful because that will result in loss of job, and then your high life is gone. Stealing from family--you need to slammed for that.
Stop cheating and using drugs. No matter what drugs you are taking, you need to get yourself into a programme that will help you deal with that addiction. That is what you have, an addiction to the afore mentioned.
You need to take some serious action, and instead of telling us, tell your wife. If she loves you, then she will stick by you 100% and help you get better. Then you need to start therapy sessions, and ask your wife if she will support you and goes with you to your meetings.
Good luck
2007-05-16 17:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by jesterthemutt2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not be cruel? You're cruel. Sometimes a dose of one's own medicine is exactly what is needed. However, I don't want to be the one to give it to you. So, in response to your question, I think that you have already taken the first step to self-improvement and self-realization. You asked how you can be honest with yourself. It sounds to me as though you are already being quite honest with yourself by admitting your faults and/or short-comings. Even though this forum allows you to remain anonymous, you have still taken an important step in your "recovery". Now, ask yourself if perhaps you can sit down with the people closest to you and tell them what you've told us and ask for their forgiveness. If you can find the strength, then do it. If not, at least make a conscious effort to put a stop to the negative things you've been doing. Easier said than done, I know. But every journey begins with that first step. Best wishes to you. I hope that I wasn't too cruel.
2007-05-16 17:34:48 · answer #4 · answered by JOURNEY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so u lie steal and cheat what u need to do is get help talk to someone go to an na or aa meeting get a sponsor girls are the best sponsors to tell u the truth i know someone that has been there and i sponsored them to become straight with themself also if u lie to urself then u r not ready for what will happen tell the people that u stole from or lied to they may be a lil pissed off but in the end they will appreciate it
2007-05-16 17:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, you ARE being very honest with yourself...and now, us. Now you need to determine if you really want to change. Not everyone does. If you feel that your life's choices are not in keeping with who you WANT to be, you are just steps away from making effective change. So many people are ugly on the inside, but don't recognize it or acknowledge it. You are light years ahead of them.
I congratulate you for your soul searching, and wish you the very best. Being a good person is really very easy...you just have to want to be a good person. Resist the urges that compell you to the bad behavior and make sure to take the time to recognize the positive changes you make...the positive reinforcement will only encourage you to exhibit more goodness in your life.
If only everyone could be as honest with themselves and others....
2007-05-16 17:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The first step is actually admitting that you are a complete b*****d. And you've done that in an exceptionally public place. You should probably start with the thing you most hate about what you do; drugs, lying, stealing and then admit it to your wife. Tell her you need help and that you want her to help you. One step at a time.
2007-05-16 17:21:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I want to say kudos for being honest right now. You have to start somewhere. I highly suggest finding your higher power. We'll just say God for our purpose here. Find a church that you click with. Maybe ask a friend for suggestions. If nothing else read your Bible and a lot of help is out there as far as counseling too. Good luck and congrats for taking a first step!
2007-05-16 17:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by Good Grief! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we think that the easy way of doing things is the best way when really all we are really doing is creating a whole new set of problems. I was in a similar situation in the past, I told lots of lies that I thought were necessary to advance a situation at the time. It all ended up coming back on me. I lost everything that was important to me, then I decided to try honesty. I also turned back to my faith in God. He accepted me when no one else would. God Bless you and I hope you are able to get the help you need before you lose it all too.
2007-05-16 17:34:37 · answer #9 · answered by creedys1andonly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first step was for you to admit that you have a problem. Now, it's up to you to get help. Make an appointment to see a therapist, and go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting for your drug use. Talk to your wife and tell her you are having problems. If you truely want to change you can. If not, you are scamming youself and you are a true sociopath.
2007-05-16 17:24:37 · answer #10 · answered by Angiej1213 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get involved in meditation and find out what your real needs are. You are the only one that can make yourself happy.
At the moment it sounds like you are acting from your ego, which is your false identity. When you meditate you will still your mind, and become more aware of what your heart wants. Your heart is the source of wisdom,
I think before long, you will be as nice on the inside as you are on the outside, and you will be happy as well.
2007-05-16 17:52:56 · answer #11 · answered by Mike K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋