i know my husband is having an affair...we've been married for two years...what should i do?

Question

i love my husband and i know hes having a affair...im a good wife, always faithful, we are happy...so why is he doing this? oh and yes, we have plenty of sex...and we dont fight. help

Answer 1

Sometimes one partner is not enough for people. And there's really not much more to it than that.

Answer 2

he he he funny that you say that "we're happy" that's not true. You must be happy but he isn't because he's obviously having an affair for some reason. Guys do this even if they have a Jessica Simpson or Beyonce for a wife. Your looks, how often you have sex, if ur a good wife or not has nothing to do with the decisions you make. If any of these things lack then it contributes to an affair and is most likely to happen but- you did nothing for him to do what he's doing. Since you sound so confident that he's cheating why not hire a private detective so they can follow him & take pics of him & the mistress & you can confront them in person. What happens after the confrontation is up to you if you want to end the marriage or work on it. A woman just like a man has natural instincts when they feel they are being betrayed and yours sound like it's telling you he IS cheating. Follow your instincts and confront him about it. If he wants to keep going on with his affair knowing you now know - that means it's time for divorce. He's not willing to say sorry or explain why he's doing this. You should have a talk with him but only do it when you have sufficient evidence to throw in his face so he doens't try to lie his way out of it. Good luck & do what i said other than that you can ignore it as if you don't know and go on with your life as if it's not happening & abe miserable but it's up to you. I wouldn't sleep with him if i were you though- God knows if that other gurl has an STD etc. Take care of yourself and do what you gotta do. Before you confront him I'd little by little take money out of bank accounts & put it on a separate savings just in case he tries to screw you and you end up divorced then u would at least be covered. I wish i would have done this with my ex- before i knew it he took off with out life's savings. I was stupid and didn't act on my instincts. I would have had at least $90,000 in savings if i would have taken money out here & there before confronting him about it but no- i was impulsive and confronted him anyway and lost what i could have had. Good luck and be smart about what you do!! Note- he left with the other gurl & i was left with nothing- don't let this happen to you no matter how much you love him he will love his money more than he loves you

Answer 3

If all that you say is true, than obviously your husband is one of those individual who cannot control the urge to be with more than one person, and I say person/individual, because women are just as guilty of infidelity, it does take two. If you are aware of this affair, then you confront him and give him an ultimatum. Infidelity is never ok. Commitment is just that, there are not loop holes in it.

Respect yourself and leave the marriage if he doesn't stop the affair, and I would suggest counseling. A marriage can be saved after an affair. It does take work, but it is possible.

Good luck.

Answer 4

How do you know he is having an affair? What is he doing? Do you have proof?

I sure you do love your husband or you would not have married him but cheating is not an acceptable behavior from either partner. If he was my husband, I would sit him down and confront him with facts (if you have them)not feelings of an affair. If you do have facts, lay them out on the table and discuss them openly then decide together what needs to be done to make corrections as to not have this happen again.

Love is wonderful but don't be stupid. If you have proof and he lies to you, then think hard, Sweetheart.

Sorry you are wondering about your husband.

Sandy

Answer 5

Okay, I just went through something like this. My guy slept with someone else but I made the decision to stay and work things out. Now, this is not always the case because some guys just do it to do it. You really can't listen to what others tell you because they are not living in your relationship, you are. If you truly feel the relationship is worth saving then do so. If nto, get out of it. You will only continue to get hurt. My relationship is doing well but we still have a long way to go. if you do decide to stay, you two need to have a serious talk and make a plan. For you - You need to let all this bad stuff go and start fresh.

Answer 6

First of all, forget about her. He's the one that made the promise to you in your vows. She could obviously care less about you and who knows what he's told her about you that she believes and doesn't have a clue otherwise? I don't condone what they are doing but he is the one you need to confront. Get it out into the open, have your proof ready when he denies it and he probably will. Before you do this, make all preparations in case you have to leave. If he leaves, be sure you have put enough money etc. aside to be able to survive on your income alone if you have any. Be Prepared is the secret. Once you confront him, you don't know how it will be but at least you will know you have $ and somewhere to go if he kicks you out....but I definitely wouldn't just stand by and let him have his cake and eat it too...

Answer 7

I would say to just ask him about it. Don't mention anything about a divorce if you were thinking that. Do you know for sure that he is? Maybe it's something else. Talk to him calmly and don't sound upset. did you give him a reason to cheat? If that does not work then.........i don't know. i've never been marrie before but i can relate to what you're feeling. don't get a divorce if he admits and you both try to work it out. if it is TRUE love he will when you talk to him. if not see a councilor or maybe get a divorce. but put that as last b/c that's a sin. god bless and good luck

Answer 8

Chances are you've probably done nothing wrong.You can be the best wife, cook the best food, keep the cleanest house, look your best all the time, but none of that will keep a man from cheating on you. If you know for "sure" and have evidence, then confront him about it. If you just sit back and don't say anything then you won't get any answers...Good Luck!!

Answer 9

You know it may be true that one partner is not enough for some people. In my mind those are the people who should not take marriage vows. Just stay single. Cheating is the cruelest form of betrayal. I believe in fidelity in a marriage. I'm sorry to say if fidelity is what your looking for you will never have it with this man. He may not be capable of being a one woman man.There are guys out there who will be faithful to you.Untangle yourself from this bad marriage. I know you have the strength to do it. Good luck.

Answer 10

You need to confront him and discuss this with him! Counseling is the best idea - both of you will need to talk about this, if you want your marriage to continue. This is a terrible position for you to be in and I hope you are not blaming yourself for any of it. He needs to get some help, to find out why he is feeling the need to have an affair. (attention, low self-esteem, etc). People will tell you to dump him, but if you truly love each other, try to work it out. If it fails at the end, at least you will know that you tried.
But you have to let him know you know...please don't let this continue!
I wish you the best.

Answer 11

You need to confront your husband and then ask him what caused him to have the affair. You might also try seeing a counselor, but the decision to divorce is up to you. Infidelity is a legitimate excuse for divorce- it is just whatever you feel is right. I'll be praying for you!