why would anyone choose to be unhappy?

Question

unless or course they had no choice..due to factors beyond their control..can anyone refute this?

good refute tulie!!

some great answers so far, things I never thought of..thanks

Answer 1

Maybe someone has chosen to be unhappy to get special attention from that special person in their life. If you whine a little poke your lip out and maybe sulk around the house for a while you might get what you want. whether its attention or that brand new prada skirt you saw while you were window shopping. or maybe you have made yourself unhappy to relate to someone who is actually going through something so you can say i know how you feel or i know what you mean when its really all in your head!

Answer 2

I think I can answer this the best coz I like to be sad and unhappy sometimes or most of the times.

Well there could be two reasons mainly for a person to be unhappy in my opinion.

First- Some people act to be unhappy coz they need other people's love and care or something or the other which they cant get being happy so, they have put this expression of being unhappy. But this can be done by real good actor.

Mostly people cant put on a false sad expression for a longer time.

Second- Sometimes people like to be unhappy that is bcoz they have been unhappy often so they are habitual of being that way. They like to happy too but their actual state of mind which prefers to be unhappy bcoz they have trained the mind to be unhappy. They somewhere find something which can make them unhappy, they wantedly think of a problem and get unhappy.

I am the second kind of a person, by god's grace I really dont have any big problems in my life but still I find something or the other to get my mind work over that.
Coz thinking of something makes my mind busy.
Well this is what I know!

Answer 3

If people stopped to think about it, no-one would choose to be unhappy. To ACT unhappy to achieve a certain result (like tulie said), yes... but not to truly BE unhappy. And it doesn't matter what life throws at you - happiness is a choice that can be made regardless of life's situation.

So why do people choose to be unhappy? I think it is because they don't realize that they HAVE a choice, and because it can be hard to change your outlook. Goodness knows, even though I believe that happiness is always an available choice, it is hard to implement, and I don't always succeed. But by trying, I probably am happier a greater percentage of the time than people that don't try, and happiness, like anything else, eventually becomes a habit.

Answer 4

What makes you happy? that might be the biggest part of your question... it is difficult sometimes to decide the answer to what makes you happy... What makes me happy is fending for myself, paying my own way thru life, and being with my family and friends. If I am happy in the majority of my life, then I am fine. Now, my boyfriend on the other hand, lives with hisparents (he's 29), hates his job, hates his car (until a month or so ago), hates his situation with dropping out of school when he did, hates that he has an ex wife, and hates that he can't see his daughter. now, I know quite a few people that have similar situations, that are quite happy, they enjoy life, and make the best of most situations. He, on the other hand, choses to be unhappy. HE choses his path, and no one else can do it for him. HE would rather be depressed and sad in life because it makes everyone else feel sorry for him. My life isn't perfect. My father passed away a few years ago, and so has most of my family. My mom is the only person i have. I work at a company where I don't get paid near enough, and I have diabetes. But-------- I am happy. I chose to be happy, and make the best of it, but I think that's because I know that it's better to be happy for a day than never experience happiness.

ok, enuff. I could go on forever. Hope that helps!!! lol have a good day!!!

Answer 5

This is going to sound weird, but some people choose to be unhappy because it makes them happy.

Take for example 'winning'. Some people really (REALLY!) enjoy winning. They'll do anything to win. Even things that make them miserable.

You can see example of this sometimes when a pouting child intentionally hurts themselves. The child knows that their parent loves them and that by overtly making themselves unhappy they are hurting their parent. Thus, if they hurt themselves enough, they can win and the parent will have to relent. It's the same like of thinking that causes them to say things like, "If I ran away and starved to death, then you'd be REALLY sorry!".

Or take displays of bravado that particlarly groups of men are prone to do. It's one thing to engage in a dangerous stunt to impress other people or to get an adrenalin rush, what what about a stunt that you KNOW is going to injure you ('Jackass' replicators, anyone)? Even this doesn't stop some people - the payoff is greater than the punishment. They temporarily agonize themselves in order to reminisce for years. See also "Did you hear about that stupid thing I did when I was drunk out of my mind?" stories.

There are, of course, far more reasonable variations. You take yucky medicine to get well. You tolerate immunizations for diseases you don't even have. You go through a painful break-up to end a MORE painful relationship.

Unhappiness, then, can be just a temporary portal to greater happiness. And even when the supposed reward is questionable at best, some people are more than willing to jump right in!

Answer 6

I believe in the aristotlian school of thought where by, I feel that man's only purpose is to find true happiness. If one IS unhappy, is mainly because he is unable to 'get' to the quest. The quest in turn is 'true happiness'. In his pursuit to achieve happiness, one fails and therefore is not happy. So what ever was 'medium' of getting where he wanted to go may or may not be in his control, yet at the same time he can change/alter the 'medium' and pursue happiness. To illustrate I shall use an example of this bright, young girl who yearned for higher education, due to some financial crises she couldn't go ahead with it. She didn't give up and continued working hard to get out of the crises and thought that one day she may go back to school. After years of hard work, she still feels things will never work out for her as circumstances won't allow her to go for what she truly wants to do. She gave up one fine day and sooner than later her purpose was lost and she slid into depression. Years of remaining in a shell, finally she re-evaluates her goals and begins a journey in a new direction. The new direction brings happiness back into her life. So the point being, we may give up on our goals and be unhappy in the short run (how long this lasts may depend from person to person), but in the long run we all our inherently in the pursuit of true happiness.

Answer 7

The reason why people choose to be unhappy is that they don`t realize what they are doing when they focus on negative stuff. For example when someone says that they don`t want their mate to cheat on them, they attract exactly that, and in this manner we can say that they chose to be unhappy. Had they wanted their mate to be faithful to them and love them forever, they would have attracted happiness. Maybe the reason why people mostly don`t make the choice of faithfulness is that they also don`t realize that it is always possible to have a change of mind. The above goes for everything and anything one can wish for.

Answer 8

The ancient philosophers, like Aristotle, said that we all naturally pursue happiness. No matter what we do, we're always trying, ultimately, to become happier. But what about people who make great sacrifices to their own personal happiness for the sake of others? Like a soldier who chooses to dive in front of a grenade that blows his legs off and makes him unhappy for the rest of his life, because he can't pursue his dream of becoming a football player. You might say, "Well, even if it makes him unhappy in one sense, it's obvious that he got deep personal satisfaction from doing something so altruistic. So he was Really choosing to be happy, just not in an obvious way." I think there's some merit to that, but it drains the word "happiness" of meaning if literally everything you do is for your own happiness. What is happiness, if everything is supposed to produce it? And if anything and everything you choose to do is for your own happiness, then it's not really a choice, is it?

Answer 9

Sometimes it is more comfortable for people to embrace their darkness, their sadness. Some just are so used to feeling unhappy that they find a type of solace and comfort there and do not want to learn to be different because it will be an unusual experience. I think most unhappy people don't think that they have a choice, they think that they are condemned to be unhappy and slowly give up even trying for something better.

Answer 10

Because they have vested interest in the state of unhappiness-- this could be a sense of control, or security, or even simply the familiarity of the status quo. The paradox of this state is that it is being miserable that actually brings the person a sense of fulfillment-- oddly enough, it makes them happy.