How can I get rid of my intense emotions so that I can finally accomplish my goals?

Question

I am a person who can act very irrational when my emotions get in the way. It makes me look incredibly stupid and senseless. Sometimes I just talk when I shouldn't and have many regrets. I love music, the arts, and anything else that is creative. Anything that will send a chill down my back. Is this me or can I change myself? I want to be more rational. Maybe it's my age. How should I 19 year old girl act? What is expected of me?

In my mind, I can fill an entire room with happiness or sorrow. It affects everyone. Am I childish? I should act more mature.

I don't do drugs. It's my personality.

Yoda, it is all about skill. What other skills are there?

Answer 1

You're 19. You are still growing and learning who you are... at 19 (and even now sometimes) I felt the same way. Don't ever try to hide who you are, harness that and use it to fulfill your passions. If you are passionate about art or music, then harness it and use it that way, write a song about how you are feeling, or paint a picture. Get involved with something that keeps you occupied, like Answers! lol If we didn't have people that could affect others in positive ways, we would be in a horrible state, sad, depressed.

yes, the person before me that said you could have depression, yes, it is possible, but I doubt it. Being irrational has a lot to do with being a teenager. You don't have quite as much experience in the world as the more 'distiguished' people that you are talking about. Being rational is nothing more than being able to think about all points of view, and determining the best route thru a problem. If you feel yourself becoming 'irrational', think about why. think about the reason someone is making you feel that way, and determine their point of view and then decide if your response makes sense. If it bothers you, then it bothers you. you have your own code of ethics and morals to live with. DON'T CHANGE. ;)

good luck, hope that helps!! If you need to talk, drop me an email!!

Answer 2

Although it is possible to become unemotional, I would not advise anyone to do so. Your emotions are communications from your soul or inner self. Not only that but the emotions are about 10,000 times faster than thoughts. All you have to do is to learn to identify whether you feel good or not. If not, it is just a matter of focusing on something which makes you happy, for example music. Stop trying to live according to someone else. Yes, if you remain positive most of the time, you will lose some of these negative friends, but you will also attract better ones. All is well. Enjoy!

Answer 3

It does sound physiological but you can make changes without drugs. You are overly identifying with body level emotions, all of which develop during the evolution of brain development (survival/emotional/thought etc.) through about age 25. They become chemically embedded and can trigger thoughts and immoderate behavior.

Start by understanding that YOU are NOT your feelings and thoughts, YOU are the OBSERVER of them. Practice being aware of what they are - knowing they are primarily programmed responses - from early relationships and beliefs about self and the world. Increasing that detachment will allow you to master them while not "dissociating" them or burying them, though I doubt that could happen in your case. Also learn some Yoga breathing (Hatha Yoga would be very good for you) to bring the physiological responses under control. You're like a chemistry experiment gone awry, but it is NOT your fault. Be patient and deliberate. Remember you are the OBSERVER of the contents of your mind.

Answer 4

I struggle with this too. I have very strong emotions, and have a very difficult time not expressing them, or knowing when its appropriate to express them. They seem to go hand in hand with racing thoughts. You might have them to, if your quick to say something without thinking about it. It could be part of a mood disorder, or I have ADHD and when I started my medicine I noticed I wasn't overly emotional. You should talk to your doctor or pshyciatrist about this.
The other thing is, some of it is just a lack of maturity, People's brains change as they get older, and I'm only 24 now, but compared to 19 I've changed alot. I know that when I get older I'll understand more, then what I know now.
Seek some help, and maybe regular therapy so you have an outlet for your emtions.

Answer 5

I think you are lacking the skills you need in order to create better emotions for yourself. I used to be just like you but learned a technique from a book called "Crucial Conversations" that helped me immensely. It's called "mastering your stories." Whenever you hear, see, etc. something you tell yourself a story about it and then that causes you to feel an emotion which then influences your actions.

For instance, someone almost runs you off the road (See and hear) so you decide this guy is a total jerk and out to kill people (tell a story). You get upset (feel) and flip him off (act).

NOW, if you tell yourself the story that maybe his mom is at the hospital and about to die, then your feeling could be compassion instead of getting angry. Try it out - it's a very freeing tool.

Answer 6

The beginning of self-awareness is accompanied with such feelings full of intense glory and lots of fireworks at times. We all do incredibly stupid and senseless things. If you can improve on it you will. If not now, later, when you are tired of these feelings. The world is full of information on how to make your life better. All are good. Choose one and go with it. Regrets and changes are part of every path in life. Learn, move on and hopefully do better in the future. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Har. You could take lots of extasty and end up emotionally castrated. I've seen a person like that. Not very successful person. Emotions help motivation, so now she can hardly get motivated to do s***.

Maybe you need to see a psychiatrist? If it's bipolar or something like that, there there are effective meds and whatnot. Don't expect much useful info from random people...

Answer 8

Intense mood swings can be a sign of depression. I would schedule an appointment with your doctor and discuss the issues you talked about here.

Answer 9

Someone who is high drama is someone that I avoid.

At any rate, thinking too much will only make you excessively or highly emotional.

Answer 10

You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.