Drop Friend or not?

Question

I recently found out that I was pregnant two days ago. I wasn't planning it or expecting if for the matter but I have decided to have the baby since I do not believe in abortion and I have support from my parents and my childs father. So I told two of my close friends one who is extremly excited and supportive. But my other friend was the total opposite. She asked me did I want her to take me to a clinic to get an abortion I didn't know what to say. She was so negative about everything saying that i'm irresponsible and immature and that my and the childs father don't live close enough. The thing is, she's 3 months pregnant and she doesn't have the best circumstances either but I've been extremly supportive, even going to appointments with her when her childs father wouldn't. Yet she says our situations are totally different, which they really aren't. I didn't let her know but I was really upset. My mom says she's selfish and negative and that I don't need negativity around me, advice?

I'm 19 years old she's twenty. When I say I didn't plan on it I mean I wasn't trying, also I was using birth control. As far as me being immature or irresponsible she thinks that because my parents do a lot for me, which I appreciate a lot. I am a full time student and I work part time. I admit I'm not the most responsible person in the world but, I at least think I'm taking responsibility from my actions by having this child, and am willing to make changes and sacrifices for it.

Answer 1

There is a reason you got pregnant when you did...and that baby is going to bring so much joy and love into your life!! This girl is really selfish and not being a very good friend. Your mom is right, you don't need people around you that are going to have you question your decisions or try to push you in a direction you don't want to go in. Tell that girl that if she can't be a supportive friend like you've been for her, then to go shove it up her *** and spend more time with your friend who is supportive and excited for you. Babys are very exciting and should be celebrated, good luck to you and don't let haters get you down!!!

Answer 2

At this stage of your friend's pregnancy, it could be the hormones talking rather than reason. In three months, you might feel the way she does. Although, I understand your feelings, too.
You didn't say how old you are, but you did drop one fact that raises alarms: you didn't plan this. That tells me you have a problem taking responsibility during the most critical moments. How can you have unprotected sex with your boyfriend, then be surprised by getting pregnant? You say you didn't plan to get pregnant, but then you went ahead and did JUST EXACTLY what it takes to get that way. That's why I wonder about your age and I state that you seem to have a problem with responsibility, because I'm sure you were aware that pregnancy was likely to happen when you had unprotected sex.
But, whatever you decide, best of luck to you and your child, and maybe give the other girl the benefit of the doubt as to her misgivings about your situation.
Honestly speaking, considering that you're only 19 years old, you have a LOT of growing up yet to do. As a result, the best thing you could do for your child is find a nice family, where the couple are NOT DEPENDENT on their parents, as you seem to be, nor are students, and see if your child can be adopted by them. I know it's a very hard thing to consider, but I really don't think you'll be able to devote the level of time and energy to your child that he or she will deserve, considering your age and circumstances. Also, it's not fair to your parents because, with your life as it is, they will probably have to take a very large role in raising your child, and that was probably not in their plans at this stage of your life.

Answer 3

I say drop her like a bad habit! She probably is just jealous that you will have the support that she wants. I recently found out I was pregnant too and my so-called friend hasn't even come see me yet, it's been over 2 weeks since I told her. I think she is jealous because she has been trying to get pregnant for the last 6 years and hasn't been able too and I just started trying and I'm pregnant. But you know what, right now it's about me..just like right now it's about you. You need to take care of yourself and your baby. Don't let anything or anyone stress you out and you mom is so right...you do not need negativity in your life, especially right now. It still bothers me that my 'friend' is being such a bia but you know what, it's her lost, not mine. Good Luck and Congrats!

Answer 4

If she continues this negativity come right out and ask if she really supports you as a friend. She should say yes. When she does ask why she hasn't been doing so. If she denies being a bad friend, (which she has been) give examples. If she refuses to take responsibility for her lack of support then drop her. If she says she doesn't support you as a friend then drop her. By drop her I mean stop supporting her and her baby. If she were a good friend she'd be there for you and not telling you you're stupid for having a child. Having a child herself and telling you shouldn't do the same makes her a hypocrite.
Congratulations and good luck to you and your child.

Answer 5

I had the same reaction from my father, he asked if I was keeping the baby!! I was totally mortified although I do believe abortion can help some women in the wrong positions such as rape, severe drug problems or mental issues I am keeping my baby girl! I havent talked to him since he is very imature about the situation and yes I do mean my dad. It hurt a lot to hear that but I don't need those kind of people in my life. True unless she accepts what you feel, you don't need the stress of her right now. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Talk to your friend. Reassure her that you know what you are doing, and that you will be fine. Remind her that you need support from your friends not negativity. (And like mom says - you don't need that)

Also, some women have a hard time "sharing" their pregnancy. She may feel that your being pregnant will take away from her being pregnant, and the attention that comes with it.

If you are true good friends, you will be able to work it out. If you do, it the best to have someone going through it at about the same time. She could be a great source of information.

Answer 7

Your mom is right. What matters is that you stand by your principles and most of all, that you have everybody's support.

I suspect your friend has a case of sour grapes. She is right about you and her being in totally different situations and anybody would rather be in your shoes. Since you mention that she's one of your two closest friends, just ignore her negativity and if you can- refrain from it. I'm trying to say that you do not necessarily have to terminate the relationship but you do not have to be around negative people either. Your friend will come around eventually. Only if she asks you about any different treatment of you towards her, then let her know that you have chosen to surround yourself with good karma and you feel that she's not genuily happy for you nor giving your good karma in this phase of your life.

Just be sympathetic to her, it must be awful to be in her situation and be envious. Hopefully, she will see the light of it.

Congratulations on your baby!

Answer 8

Hey, for starters, I think that you having the baby totally mature and responsible. I admire you and I hope that you can set an example for other young women. As for your friend, why don't you sit down with her and let her get it into her head that You are having this baby, whatever she may think, and she being a close friend, her support, moral or otherwise, would really help. If she still is negative, I suggest you spend as little time with her as possible as least till the baby is born. I hope this helps.

P.S.: Congratulations.

Answer 9

you dont need the negativity, next time youre with her and she starts, just say that apparently you 2 dont see eye to eye on this situation so you need to either not discuss it or maybe you should not see each other any more, the disagreements cant be good for you or her! Just state that while this might not be the perfect situation (like there is one) you have to make the best of it and the best means taking care of yourself and your baby, and you dont want the stress associated with arguing with a friend. Good luck and congratulations on the baby!

Answer 10

Respectfully tell your friend that you disagree with her and stay strong in your decision and moral beliefs. Remind her how supportive you were during her difficult time and tell her that you feel stressed out because you feel she is being negative. Tell her you still love her as a friend but because that you cannot continue being around someone you feel disrespects you. Don't blow this out of proportion. Deal with this maturily. Use "I feel" statements instead of "you are" statements so she doesn't feel attacked. If she still responds negatively, cut off contact with her until she decides to respect you. Don't fuel the fire by making her angry. Remember she is pregnant and has a lot going on right now too.