A woman in a committed relationship may sometimes french kiss, feel up, and do even more with another woman (usually one of her girl friends). She will see this behavior as acceptable, but refuses to consider allowing her partner to do the same thing with other girls.
I have often heard women admit that it is a double standard but it makes sense to them, and that's just the way it is.
I would really like to know a logical answer to this question.
I would also like to know if there is a way to level things where both parties feel like it is fair.
Any ideas?
2007-05-16 08:14:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Happy girl, why must it be another man? Why can it not be with someone he is attracted to? That's what the woman is doing.
2007-05-16 08:21:48 · update #1
juggaliz, in my experience it has had nothing to do with other guys. In fact, they sometimes prefer the guys are off doing something else as not to bother them.
2007-05-16 08:23:43 · update #2
CJ, two wrongs do not make a right. Even if they did, I doubt I would have a double standard that would equal up to this. And the only reason I find this behavior unacceptable is on the grounds of it not being fair or equal. If a woman can do anything a man can do, why can a man not do anything a woman can do?
2007-05-16 08:26:25 · update #3
The theory is that women merely explore while men are in it for the sex.
That's why it's a double standard
2007-05-16 08:28:39 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Frankly, this is the first I have heard of a woman in a committed relationship with a man doing anything like this. Lesbian activity is sometimes considered a 'turn on' for guys (it's kind of like the lazy man's answer to porn, which is the lazy man's answer to sex!) so stupid insecure girls might be tempted to do that for their boyfriends.
But just for the fun of it? I doubt if it is casual, then. The person who is in a 'committed' relationship has already declared (formally or informally) that they are not going to be doing anything sexual with other partners. Being known to indulge in lesbianism is enough to normally 'mark' someone as an out and out dy**. So perhaps the heterosexual activity is just a cover-up. I can tell you it is not normal, accepted, or widely-practiced.
Strip away all the deviant side and all you have is plain old cheating.
The only double standard that comes up when women 'admit' anything about this is that the 'girl on girl' action is a turn-on for guys but guy-on-guy action is a turn on for no one but gay guys. That would be the double standard they are talking about. It's true and it's too bad - in my mind, it's just girls doing another 'performance' type of thing to try to attract a guy's interest, not unlike stripping or threesomes or any number of other performance acts.
The logical answer is that if you are committed to someone, that excludes sex with other people.
Part B of the logical answer is that there are boundaries you cross and lesbian and gay sex is one of them. If you want to cross those boundaries, you don't look for rational excuses to try to make it look 'normal' or like a 'normal' part of your sex life.
2007-05-24 12:59:53 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not okay! It is a double standard. Your partner is sharing her body and creativity with another human being. You either get to share yourself with whomever you choose, or neither of you gets to play outside of your relationship. Pretty simple. But are you willing to let things be this way? Because you may lose her if you insist on fair play!
2007-05-22 01:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I apologize in advance, but are you a freakin moron! Your wife wants to play with other girls and you want MORE? This is a "sit back and count your blessings" kind of situation.
Do you know how many men would kill to have a wife as adventurous as yours is? And why would you want another woman? My god man, the glass ain't half empty, it's over flowin!
2007-05-23 13:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by Answerman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't set well with me, unless I could be in the middle with both of them. I certainly don't want to do that with another man, but I do know a lot of women that don't mind the touching from another woman. They may have a little bi in their blood. I wouldn't want it to continue, especially if a marriage was to ensue.
2007-05-21 18:02:13 · answer #5 · answered by H. A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, there's not a way...guys like it when other girls kiss girls and so forth...and if my husband wanted to kiss a guy in front of me...ok...but I doubt he'd do it! Girls do it fun to turn on their spouse, or just for fun....if you don't like your girl to do it, then tell her that it's unacceptable from the start! Yes, girls may have "a" double standard, but how many do guys have???
2007-05-16 15:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There isn't anything separating you and your (committed)relationship person from animals.
That goes for all the answers that I just too.
This world has gone straight to hell because of people like you. You don't even know what a "committed relationship" is!
2007-05-23 16:40:53 · answer #7 · answered by Wilhelmina F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, if my husband wants to feel up, french kiss and do even more with another man, I guess that's his perogative. I just don't see how many husbands are going to go for this......
2007-05-16 15:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
because girls do that for attention from guys, it is nothing sexual with eachother, if you were to kiss another girl it would be sexual between the two of you, make sense, I hope.
2007-05-16 15:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by juggalizzle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋