Hi guys, I was with my son mother for 4 years and our relationship was horrible despite me still staying in it. I recently broke off the relationship for many reason. I met someone I am very much in love with. Now my ex(sons mother) is very unhappy because she realize that she lost something very good. So to get back at me she went ahead and filed for child support. Now I have a court date and I would like to know if this will prove that I take care of my son. I make under 30K and I pay rent and other utilites to survive. I've never been through this but I heard it can be very unfair. But am I on the right track?
1. I kept all my reciepts of clothes, food(milk, baby food etc), basically everything I ever brought my son before he was born til now and this is wkly.
2. He's always been on my health insurance.
3. He is the benificery of my Life Insurance, Disability, 401K, and some other things.
4. I took out a college plan(529 College Fund) since he was born.
Will I be ok
2007-05-16 07:42:38 · 11 answers · asked by Marc Rez 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I live in NY. And we never got married. If they take out money I dont care I will still take care of my son. I just find it unfair that someone would go that far to be spiteful.
2007-05-16 07:53:07 · update #1
She does'nt have a job, she lives with her mother and her mother still support her. She has no ambition to get a job sadly.
2007-05-16 08:14:16 · update #2
From what you are saying, you have provided for the child in the past. The mother of your child is just ensuring that you continue to care for your son. Perhaps she no longer trusts you to help out? It sounds like you weren't married, so you are lucky there. At least she won't try to hit you up for alimony.
2007-05-16 07:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of those receipts are going to be practically useless to you. It is not what you DID for your child, it is what you are DOING for the child. It is true that the court system can be a little unfair, but it is not so much an unfairness toward men, but rather over-fairness toward the CHILD. That is who the court is concerned with, and well it should be. Health insurance, the college plan, and the beneficiary stuff is going to make a difference. All receipts that show how you are helping the child NOW will make a big difference.
Ultimately, however, it does not matter so much what your situation is or what your ex-wife's situation is, it is the child that the court is going to be concerned about. The fact is, whether or not your wife is trying to get back at you or not, it is the child's right to get the support it needs. So I don't blame your wife one bit.
All that said, have you considered trying to get custody of the child? Tell your wife you are looking into that, and she may change her tune... but don't do it if you are not willing to back it up. I'd consider talking to an attorney to discuss my options, regardless of what you choose to do.
Here is something else to consider: you may well have to start paying child support, but while you do it, keep very careful records of what you spend or don't spend on the child, and keep very careful record of every single thing your wife does or says to cause trouble. Keep an ear open when you visit. Keep an eye out for anything fishy. You might get the shaft at the beginning, but if you keep careful records, when your wife finally screws up you can remedy the situation, or even turn the tide on her. In other words, make sure she is taking good care of your kid. If she doesn't, you can be the one "trying to get back." But be careful. Anything you do can have a profound impact on your child. That child needs to be the #1 priority in all of this. That is all that matters in the end.
Good luck!
2007-05-16 07:59:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for joint custody. I would want 50/50. And when you have custody, she can pay you when you have him. Does she have a job? Her income is looked at too. But if you remember anything, remember this.... do not go into court without an attorney. People get screwed royally when that happens. But until then, make sure you pay the hag something even now. Pay with checks to show proof. Judges like to see initiative and though you have a lot done a lot, judges like to see what is done in the here and now. $$$ payments are needed here and now!!!
2007-05-16 08:08:09 · answer #3 · answered by Speaking_Up 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak with a family law attorney. You will have to take the father's rights away in court before someone else can get custody if you were to die. Are you expecting to die soon? It isn't really reasonable to think you will die before your mother unless you have some type of illness thar could prove fatal. I would speak to an attorney and find out what ALL your options are. Hope this helps!
2016-05-19 22:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by madeline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on the right track, however, if you are in California, you are going to get screwed no matter what, especially if she has custody whether joint or not, she will be awarded child support! Sorry, but the guy gets everything that falls off the truck as she drives away!
2007-05-16 07:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming you currently have your son, correct? If that is the case, and you have been doing for your son all along, I can't imagine why the court would give custody and child support to the motehr who does not have a job, no stable home life, etc.
2007-05-24 01:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by QueenLori 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you hire a good attorney, file for primary custody and child support before she does so that you are not on the defensive. Keep records of everything that you do and dont have conversations with your ex regarding anything that you are doing within the legal system.
Good Luck !!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-22 05:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by rp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to support your child regardless of what you did in the past. You are showing that you can and I would dare to say want to support your son. Child support is part of that support.
Unless you can get joint custody, equal care etc....might lesson the amount.
Get a lawyer, learn your rights! and your sons.
2007-05-20 19:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by Sand D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look dont worry you seem to doing everything right i think you have a great chance your a good father and dont give up just keep on fighting for the one you love that was her lost alot of people seem to do that they never relize what they have till its gone. Dont give up you keep on doing what your doing. Good Luck and God bless you for being the father you are
2007-05-24 06:16:51 · answer #9 · answered by Honeykiss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll be more than okay. why don't you file for full custody and go after her for child support. You appear to have the child's best interest in mind here.
2007-05-16 07:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋