Question for the men, Let's say you met an attractive...?

Question

well educated woman, with a great personality, and she has a good job. She is caucasian. You discover she has one child, a 3 year old girl. If you haven't already started moving down the road, how much would it affect your decision to continue a relationship if her daughter was black? Be honest

Answer 1

Katherine, I might be surprised initially, but if I truly loved this woman, then I would accept everything about her (including her child).

Answer 2

she has a daughter, that is what matters, not what "color" she is...the question should read:

Question for the men, Let's say you met an attractive...?
well educated woman, with a great personality, and she has a good job. She is caucasian. You discover she has one child, a 3 year old girl. If you haven't already started moving down the road, how much would it affect your decision to continue a relationship? Be honest

You need to re-think your thinking.

Answer 3

You didn't specify what race the man is supposed to be. Judging from your question, I'm assuming he would also be white? Otherwise, I don't think anyone else would have a problem with color.

But generally speaking, a relationship must begin with total honesty and transparency. By transparency, I mean that you want to be up front with having kids, and any other important factors to determining the success of the relationship. For some guys, kids in general are an automatic turnoff. You kind of set yourself up for heartbreak if you hold that information back and reveal it later.. to learn that this particular guy is one of those doesn't like kids. On top of that, you have the possibility that you might have also ended up dating a racist. Some things you just don't know right away.

Hopefully though, if you are already in a relationship that is growing deeper, then this man is with you because he is falling in love with who you are. Who you are doesn't change, even as he finds out more and more things about you.

So my guess is.. if you've chosen correctly, then you have a man who will stand by you, no matter what.

Answer 4

Why not attempt being blunt? tell him you like him as a pal, yet you may experience greater tender in case you have been particular he substitute into not after greater suitable than that, as you won't cheat. you're able to additionally point out which you're basically uncertain simply by version in the way English and American men act (as you stated right here) so as that he's conscious he did not do something beside the point. i'm particular that if he's merely after being acquaintances he would not recommendations having that boundary known. I doubt that he might attempt to commence a protracted distance infidelity, that should take somebody with countless themes, there's no shortage of ladies folk right here :-)

Answer 5

For me...it would totally depend on you and the kid. If the chemistry was right...then it wouldn't affect me. However, you are right to suspecct that there is a stigma attached to your situation, which many men could not get past, therefore, yours is a seriously loaded question...

First, simply having a child from a previous encounter/relationship is a consideration for any man.

Adding race to the mix is another, altogether separate issue, which may or may not be a deal-breaker...just depends on the man and his views.

So, yes it does affect some mens thinking, whereby your chances at continuing a relationship under these circumstances is diminished.

Sorry, but you already knew this, right?

Answer 6

sorry i am not a man an even though i dont nessesarily agree with mixing races, i dont think that the first thing a man will be worried about is the fact your daughter is black.
I mean luckily i havent had a problem even though i have five kids...i think enticing a man and have him really like you then having to introduce or tell him about your daughter is the real shocker... I wouldnt worry to much about her colour... and if your lucky enough (as i have been) to find a great man that doesnt mind jumping into a fatherhood role...my advice just roll with it.....

cheers!

Answer 7

It is politically incorrect to say but your want the truth. If that is your biological child, then it is obvious your prior relationship was with a black man. The social stigma is on the woman for her sexual desires. The child is just a byproduct.

Answer 8

It wouldn't matter to me depending on how far down the road we were. I would be curious why she didn't tell me sooner, I quess. Then I would wonder if there were any other secrets. Quick and full disclosure is usually the best thing.

Answer 9

I'd have two concerns. First, what kind of person is the father, and would he give us any grief in the future. That's not related to color.

Second, is the child's color so dark that it could cause her problems in the future having two white parents? That may depend more upon the community you live in.

Answer 10

Well now that I'm 40 It would not make a difference. When I was 20 I would be running scared.