UGH! My son got in his first fist-fight...help?

Question

He is too kind-hearted, I guess. I try to be Mom & Dad to him---but it's tough to know what advice to give him.
I don't want him to think fighting is OK, but I also don't want him to be pegged as a sissy.
Single-parenthood sucks!
Any suggestions?

You call that a porno pic? LOL!!
You must not get out much.
Anyway, my son wouldn't see it. Twit.

Wow! Most of you are giving great answers. THANK YOU!

Just an aside...he is adopted...it has nothing to do with open legs. My first husband died very young; the one who's this boy's father decided that biking lifestyle was more important than being a father, & chose to leave.
Why be cruel?

Answer 1

I used to get beat up almost every day by my neighbor when I was in the 1st and 2nd grade.
I NEVER backed down. I took my beating because I didn't fear him.
I didn't like the idea of losing every time, so I started working out and practicing martial arts.
We moved from there and I didn't see him until I was 19.
He did apologize for being a bully. We wrestled (for fun) and I pinned him in a minute.

You did not tell us how your son feels about his altercation.

The bad thing about self defense is the bully is the one who does the crying when they lose the battle that they started.
They do that in adulthood, also.
I have been attacked in bars and on the street more than once. I can knock teeth out, break bones, and I can (and do) gouge eyes mercilessly when attacked.
I have been to jail more than once for defending myself.
The police do not take the side of the victim, they take the side of the one with the most damage.
You are not in an easy predicament being a single parent.
At least you're asking for advice.
Keep trying your best,
you and your son are going through what a trillion others have gone through.

Answer 2

I am in the same situation. My son is 11 and in the 6th grade, in gifted and talented and on student council yet he has a Mohawk and earring so he gets it from the students and teachers. I feel the same way as you - do not want him fighting but also do not want him being known as a sissy. I have gone to the principle, after the 2nd suspension, and talked with her at length. My son has taken her advice and walked away and told a teacher that the person will not leave him alone - which by the way made it worse- he was told by the teacher to "stay away" from the other kid. This seems impossible as they are in the same classes together. My suggestion to you is set up a meeting with the principle, your son's teacher and the school councilor. My advice to my son this last time was to do what the principle suggested about walking away and if that does not help stand up for yourself. Make sure there is a friend that hears what is being told the teacher so there is a witness that he tried to not "fight". I hope that what I have said makes some kind of sense and offers some hope in the situation. Another thing would be to have a male figure you trust talk to him.

Answer 3

Ugh. Just tell him "Did you win? Because if you didn't I am going to kick your ****." Then sit him down and explain that fighting is only something you do when it is absolutely necessary. Find out his reasoning and let him know about the consequences. Suggest ways he should or could have avoided the situation. Look up on the Internet consequences of assault and battery and have him read it. Let him know that as he will get older that he will be held responsible. Good Luck! And, yes it is hard being Mom & Dad. "You can do it!"

Answer 4

I'm going through the same thing. I'm a single mom of a 10 year old boy. Bullies pick on him because he's smart and he doesn't fight back because he doesn't want to get in trouble. I finally had to tell him that if he let them pick on him now, then they would never stop. I told him it was OK to not want to get into trouble, but it's not OK for you to let someone beat on you everyday. I signed him up for boxing lessons, the boy tried to beat him up, and got the tables turned on him. I don't like to promote violence, but sometimes it's the only thing some people understand. I even called the police on the boy, but he didn't stop. He stopped after my son gave him what for though.

Answer 5

Violence isn't the respond. there become no ultimate or incorrect party. i'm 19 and would on no account boost my hand to a make certain notwithstanding if it have been a step make certain. while a little one does this it skill a chain understand difficulty. Your son extremely needs to administration himself and be the bigger person. sure, his step father yelled at him which isn't a stable ingredient while a make certain gets right into a little one's face like that. My father become a fighter pilot and he become rather strict yet he on no account have been given in my face yelling, he become a loving make certain that could floor us for doing errors yet on no account yell in our face and get that aggressive. Your husband desires extra self administration he's an person and would act like one. Your son needs to objective to make the relationship artwork between him and his step dad. examining the added info i'd say that your son become interior the ultimate. He only would desire to of walked far flung from the situation nevertheless because of the fact i'm particular that the rush he gave him escalated the disagreement.

Answer 6

This was due to happen. Talk to him about the importance of only fighting when that is the only option left and to use his head instead of his fists to settle any arguements. Once you find out everything that led up to the fight. Let him know exactly how you feel. You want him to understand when it is good to run and when it is better to stand and fight. Once he learns this lesson, he will do more, knowing your feelings, to make you happy and he make you proud. Also, if you can, enroll him in to some self-defense classes. They teach you how do defend yourself but also discipline. When to fight or flee. Good luck!

Answer 7

I agreed with the wipe up the blood and sweat guy.

But also, let him know that he should try to hold off on the fighting unless its an emergency (self defence). He shouldn't make a rug of himself, but he shouldn't be starting the fights, either.

Maybe the boxing club idea wasn't so bad, either. It will teach discipline and moderation with your fighting skills.

Answer 8

That's tough. It all depends on the severity of the fight.

If you can afford it, I'd pay for Karate, TQD, or other martial arts lessons. This way he will be able to defend himself, and (should) learn proper dicipline.

Without a father to teach him how to fight, I think this might be your best suggestion. Wish I could help more.

Answer 9

Try explaining to him that violence is never a good way to solve a problem. If he was being bullied he should go to a teacher, counselor or you. If he started it he should be punished. You might want to think about getting him into martial arts. He will learn discipline and normally they teach the students not to be violent. This will also help him defend himself if he is being bullied.

Answer 10

I was a single mom before I got married, I've always told my son to stand up for himself. If somone keeps picking on you day after day, if he hits you, give him a hard punch to the stomach. Not to the face, just knock the wind out of him. You'd be surprised how much kids understand. He'll know this doesn't mean he goes around punching everyone. Just when someone won't leave him alone.