I am 4 months prego w/ my husband's baby...i have recently found out that he has been talkin with some internet girl, i know he never physically cheated yet, i busted him out before that could happen, but he did have plans meeting her, and they talked about sexual things back n fourth...Would you think it is worth trying to work out, or just kick him to the curb?I don't know that i can ever trust him again...if so it will be a long time from now! I do honestly love him, and I feel heart broken...I know the kids would be devistated also...he is an awsome father to them...please help
2007-05-16 05:15:11 · 33 answers · asked by crazeymazey 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is a wonderful father now..........he will always be a wonderful father!!
I think that if he loved you as much as you love him, he would not cheat on you................and wether you have sex or not cheating is cheating!!!
You should get a marriage conselor if you both really want to work this one out!! If he refuses with promises..........kick him to the curve because if you don't trust him with other women why would you trust his word???
If he admits he made a terrible problem then he would be more than willing to get a counselor to work out the problem and find out why he did this!!
Good luck............and don't put too much strain on you and your baby............he started this and he should not put blame on you at all!!
I hope you have don't have any physical problems during your pregnancy but this will affect you if you let it.........so don't fight much and don't let this problem affect your pregnancy!!!
2007-05-16 05:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you busted him in the planning stage and no actual contact happened then give him the benefit of the doubt that he may not hav gone thru with it. But advise him that if he should ever cheat on you, you will sue him for divorce and everything that you and the kids are legally entitled to so he will aways remember what he had and lost. The retrust part will take some time so monitor his actions and make a Plan B just in case. Most men caught in this stage usually back way off and never return to this idea. But if he is a good man like you say then give him a second and last chance. Good luck
2007-05-16 05:25:26 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow........that is really sad for you......you really need to trust and rely on him now, more than ever. The trust again thing is something only you know for sure and you may not be able to make that decision right now, I would encourage you to take some time with it and not act too quickly.
When I was expecting, I found that my husband had bought some porn and I was really upset, but he never made plans to meet them!! (like they would have wanted to meet him....he is now ex-husband, but not because of that)......
I think that online relationships are crossing the line, I pretty much hink that if you are doing something that you would not be comfortable doing or saying in front of your spouse then you probably shouldn't be doing or saying it....but that's just how I feel. I guess it wouldn't be as bad if he hadn't tried to hook up with her, that isn't good. I would want to know why he did it, and try really hard to not totally dwell on it, I know that is much easier said then done.....
you have a baby to think about and yourself, much more important than him right now no matter how much you love him....love yourself more....maybe you can kind of put this behind you for now, untill you have the baby and deal with this whole pile of shi* after........sorry bout this, that really sucks.
2007-05-16 05:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that doesn't mean that you have to stay with him. He is a cheating bastard. Why would you want him if he had plans to meet her and was talking sexual. Don't be dumb. i am sorry that you have to deal with that. But, he can still be a good dad but he is sure not a good husband. you shouldn't stay with someone just for your kids. It's a hard thing but they will adjust. What about you? You need to let go and move on and find you a man that loves you and respects you!
2007-05-16 05:20:34 · answer #4 · answered by Cassandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what his issues are. There's more to this than just him talking to some internet girl trying to set up a rendezvous.
He's obviously lacking something in your relationship. You've stopped the symptom for the time being. However you need to find and resolve the root of the issue. If it's something that can be resolved then work towards it, if not, then move on.
2007-05-16 05:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he does not know what he wants right now; maybe you should give him time to think about it, for him to decide what he really wants. It's pretty sad that he's doing that though, I can't believe that he would do that to you and to your kids; but think that if he does keep it up, you will not be the only one getting hurt by this situation but so will your kids when they find out. Try to work it out; but if it doesn't best thing is to move on, most important think about the people that will get affected if this continues. Take care!
2007-05-16 06:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by Christy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, that's still an "affair", albeit something called an "emotional affair". And the sex talk, well do me that's the same as doing it--talking about it and doing it is just a difference of 5 seconds and a condom.
Dump the chump. You wont be able to trust him, this will come up in every argument you have for the next 100 years, so just cut the cord now.
He can still be "an awesome father" to the kids, that doesnt have to change---he sure as hell aint an "awesome" husband, is he?
No man is worth your tears, hon.
2007-05-16 05:19:46 · answer #7 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how old are you .your acting like a child .tell him to stop and tell him he is hurting you with this girl .tell him you love him and need him and care for him and again stress the need for him to stop fooling around .it is wrong and he nos it .there is something wrong between you two that is allowing him to OK his fooling around on the net like this .if you cant live with this you should have never got married as there well be far worse things you two can live through then a Internet thing .grow up or you two well grow apart .this should bring you closer not separate you .now you no he needs something ,i don't no what that something is ,but he needs something your not giving or he is not accepting from you .you said better or worse this is a very little matter in the scope of things to come adversity makes us strong if your welling to fight it .good luck i am sorry for saying your childish but as a married man for 27 years i no this kind of thing happens and can destroy you and your family if you don't stand strong in your love for your man .good luck and my you find the peace you need to enjoy your life
2007-05-16 05:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by henryredwons 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is something that only you can answer for yourself...talk it over with him, seriously talk....communication is a major part of a relationship...after talking to him, if you feel that you cannot trust him and you are afraid of him cheating on you, then you should leave...because you deserve better than that...I would not want to live my life always being afraid and worried that my man is cheating...good luck!!
2007-05-16 05:20:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you ought to consider marriage counseling. There might be a reason that he was chatting with another woman - maybe something is missing in the marriage. A counselor can help bring those issues to light. And even if the counselor is not able to save your marriage, you'll be able to part on more amicable terms.
2007-05-16 05:19:25 · answer #10 · answered by yowza 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋